German Internet Providers (generic nub needs help thread)

[Smithy]

Hello, I am a "stupid overweight beast" (American) who has recently moved to Germany, and I need the advice of you wonderful German cRPG players, as to which company I should go to for internet, as I really just have no idea where to even begin.

I'm not looking to pay a whole lot, though I would prefer at least 20mbs DL.  Any advice on company / package choices would be greatly appreciated.  Criticism and general trolling is also welcome.  If you do happen to post something with the intent of helping me solve my problem, please include details. (price, speed, customer service, how long until I get connected, etc)  If you just want to post some random shit, maybe a gif or some soft porn, go ahead.

Thanks,
Smithy

[Miwiw]

I hope you live in some bigger town... otherwise you're quite unlucky. 

[LordBerenger]

Hello, I am a "stupid overweight beast" (American) who has recently moved to Germany, and I need the advice of you wonderful German cRPG players, as to which company I should go to for internet, as I really just have no idea where to even begin.

I'm not looking to pay a whole lot, though I would prefer at least 20mbs DL.  Any advice on company / package choices would be greatly appreciated.  Criticism and general trolling is also welcome.  If you do happen to post something with the intent of helping me solve my problem, please include details. (price, speed, customer service, how long until I get connected, etc)  If you just want to post some random shit, maybe a gif or some soft porn, go ahead.

Thanks,
Smithy

Why would you move from USA to Germany? Facepalm

[Smithy]

I hope you live in some bigger town... otherwise you're quite unlucky. 

Mainz 

and Berenger well, not permanent.

[stukii]

O2 and 1&1 - Bad connections, bad service

Telekom - Big company, owns most of german cables. Probably best service.

Unitymedia - Best cost effectiveness if you want fast inet + tv channels with good service. But the biggest installation effort since some extra gear needs to be installed in your house(if noone else there has this provider) means you have to talk to the renter. Also some constraints with connection/ip resets.

Vodafone - Well, they sold germany to the NSA. They only rented cables from Telekom a while back but have bought Kabel Deutschland, one of the biggest providers. Their routers have problems with some games and software, but in the end everything works. Good connections but little expensive. Will let you use your inet for up to 6 months if you don't pay..

[Smithy]

O2 and 1&1 - Bad connections, bad service

Telekom - Big company, owns most of german cables. Probably best service.

Unitymedia - Best cost effectiveness if you want fast inet + tv channels with good service. But the biggest installation effort since some extra gear needs to be installed in your house(if noone else there has this provider) means you have to talk to the renter. Also some constraints with connection/ip resets.

Vodafone - Well, they sold germany to the NSA. They only rented cables from Telekom a while back but have bought Kabel Deutschland, one of the biggest providers. Their routers have problems with some games and software, but in the end everything works. Good connections but little expensive. Will let you use your inet for up to 6 months if you don't pay..

Great post.   Could you expand a bit on Telekom?  I hear its a bit expensive, but overall probably the highest quality.  Is there any truth in this? 

[Life]

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[stukii]

They have definitely the best quality for LTE but can't tell for the usual customer cable connection.
Would say Telekom, Unitymedia and Vodafone are equally 'good'.
For the long term i'd go with Telekom because of them offering new technologies first but for a shorter period you can just compare the prices and the hardware you get.

[Smithy]

Alright Stukii thanks for the replies.  Hopefully I can work on getting something set up in the next week or so.    Are companies usually pretty quick about first time setups? 



@Life:  Nice gif, keep it coming.  Maybe some low res pics too (2g phone internet)

[Molly]

Can't confirm 1&1 being bad.
I am a long-time customer by now and never had any issues with them or their service. On the contrary, they even gave me free stuff although they didn't have to.

[Vibe]

Why would you move from USA to Germany? Facepalm

Why would you not?

[[ptx]]

Why would you move from USA to Germany? Facepalm

Probably because Miley Cyrus.

[NuberT]

I would avoid telekom, they might have good service, but they are offering also the best service for lawyers who want to suit you for filesharing or shit like that.

tele2 - used it for some years in a flat-sharing community, we switched because internet was just offline a lot and only the person who owns the connection could call the service to make them reset the connection, sucks when your roomate is away for the weekend^^

unitymedia - had some routing and ping issues with them, but still the best provider I had so far..

[Armpit_Sweat]

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I can almost smell that odor! Shower gel spiced up with vagina moist - mmm, my favorite. I would give that ass the best three minutes of it's life!
 
Btw, do you guys know, how in porn, men are taking samples of partner's cavities with their fingers, and let the girl sniff and lick the fingers afterwards?.. Yeah, well that never really happened to me I did not have many girls whom i knew well enough to try this with, but apparently, sucking a stranger's dick has more dignity in it, than sniffing a finger covered with their own pussy-juice...

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[Smithy]

Hmm.. Ok this all sounds good, so far everyone recommends Unitymedia.  I'll take my tablet to an internet café or something later and check out their site.  You guys who have Unitymedia remember how long it took for them to come set it up?