Author Topic: War of the Last Alliance - Crusade against the Gobblin Realm  (Read 892 times)

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Offline Thalion_Menelvagor

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War of the Last Alliance - Crusade against the Gobblin Realm
« on: December 17, 2013, 07:39:43 am »
+2
On the eve of Ragnarok, the Warriors of the First Age launch their crusade against the Gobblin oppressors of Calradia. All brave warriors welcomed

(click to show/hide)


Thalion awoke with a start, the screams from a terrible nightmare still ringing in his ears. As he became aware of his soundings he heard that despite the late hour, the grounds of Radoghir
were alert with the sounds of men shouting. A few minutes later he had discovered the nature of the disturbance. Over the course of months he had put together a careful network of informants of spies to bring tidings of events throughout the whole of Calradia, now this spiderweb of information was aflame, riders were coming in from every part of the land all breathlessly crying the same message. War. A war to end all wars. The entirety of Calradia was in the process of tearing itself apart. Old alliances crumbled and bones of friendship were broken as all realms plunged into absolute darkness. Ragnarok was come.

With the wisdom bestowed on the elven kind, Thalion new that the rise and fall of nations was merely the way of nature, a great ebb and flow of the tides that swept away men's hopes and lives with total impartiality. It seemed such a tidal wave of destruction was now poised to fall on Calradia. So be it.

"Summon all our Captains of War to the castle! Ready all that can bear arms, kindle the forges, for they shall not grow cold again in this age of the world. The great darkness is upon us and upon the blades of our warriors depends the survival of our people! May a few survive to carry on the noble memory of Beleriand into the new age. Forward and sweep all foes before us in this, Last Alliance, between Elves, Dwarves and Men. Let us do what we can to cleanse the world of Gobblins ere the end, so that if any be left to tell our tale, they shall say that we stood true to the last, in defiance to the shadow, and spent our last strength to plunge cold steel in the wicked heart of the Gobblin King and all knaves who follow him. Forward for wrath and ruin!

And so the ring of hammers and the scraping of weapons on grindstones made an eerie music that played without pause within the grounds of Radogir Castle. All the captains of the WFA were summoned and given detachments of soldiers to be fired like arrows from a great bow, streaking towards the enemy's heart. So it was, that the Last Alliance marched forth from the gates of Radogir, shining host upon shining host only to be lost to sight in the darkening gloom now descending on Calradia. 

(click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: December 17, 2013, 10:26:41 am by Thalion_Menelvagor »
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Offline GOBBLINKINGREATLEADER

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Re: War of the Last Alliance - Crusade against the Gobblin Realm
« Reply #1 on: December 17, 2013, 07:41:02 am »
0
implying we haven't all already left to attack other people--go attack FCC or something, shitbird

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Offline Necrons

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Re: War of the Last Alliance - Crusade against the Gobblin Realm
« Reply #2 on: December 17, 2013, 07:41:30 am »
+1
*listen while you read*
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Hundreds of brown pigeons fly through castle windows straight into the walls of various recipients, each eager to commit suicide so it's masters can never pet it again. Attached to every bird is a mass produced message, each written by the exact same person over the course of three hours.
THE DWARVES OF HOUSE HOIN ARE BRINGING OUT THE BIG BOY RUNES FOR THIS ONE. OUR WONDURFULLY AUTISTIC PATRIARCH HAS REQUESTED THIS COMMAND FROM THE TRIUMVIRATE, AND HIS REQUEST WAS ACCEPTED. OUR MISSION IS TO REMOVE THE KABOBBLINS FROM NEW AHMERRAD IN THE SOUTHERN REACHES OF GOBBLIN TERRITORY. AS YOU ALL KNOW, DWARVES ARE NATURAL BORN SPRINTERS. HOWEVER MANY OF OUR MEN ARE NOT DWARVES. IN ORDER TO REACH THESE FAR AWAY LANDS BEFORE THE WORLD COMES TO AN END WE HAVE BEEN GIVEN OUR AUTISTIC, TRADE SAVVY, LEADERS MOST VALUABLE POSSESION. SNOWFLAKE. SNOWFLAKE IS THE COLLECTIVE NAME FOR OVER 10000 FUCKING ROUNCIES. PROBLEM FUCKING SOLVED. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DONT LIKE TURBAN WEARING ECONEMY RUINING GOBBLIN SCUM, SHOW THE FUCK UP, WE HAVE GOOD GEAR HAND CHOSEN BY OUR GREATEST AUTIST, HOIN THE SOMEWHAT FUCK YOU.
The bird flops around on your floor for a minute or two, an obviously broken neck hinders its flight or escape. As you see the life go from its eye's a single tear falls to the brick, and you could swear that its beak curled up into a smile in that final moment. At least the son of a bitch died happy.
« Last Edit: December 17, 2013, 07:50:30 am by Necrons »
Most economic fallacies derive from the tendency to assume that there is a fixed pie, that one party can gain only at the expense of another.
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Offline Built

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Re: War of the Last Alliance - Crusade against the Gobblin Realm
« Reply #3 on: December 17, 2013, 07:46:03 am »
-1
Radsvid fastened the final strap that was securing the armament to his mighty steed. The Hoin clan had just ridden off from Radoghir. "Fucking autists" he remarked. He stared up to the sky,  something he saw so little. It made him feel even smaller than he normally does, being all the elves around him are something like seven feet tall or something ludicrous like that.

Focusing back on the task at hand, a brazier was knocked over by some foolish man carrying around arms full of papers like some baffoon. His white hair and long beard gave him away as Dalf, the something or another humans use to describe almost being as old as dwarves.

Radsvid was reminded of Durin the Deathless in that moment, that guy lived for some two thousand years. Wonder what is regiment was...Seemed like a high protein bulk kind of guy. Bet he could do like...ten plate...for reps...That Balrog guy was an asshole.


Radsvid returned to reality in this moment, the weather had become less warm, being that Radsvid has long since lost the feeling of cold. "MY LORD", one of his men apporached "WE ARE ALL READY TO RIDE FORTH TO GLORY AND DEATH AND BLOOD..." the young dwarf trailed off, listing grudges and such that Radsvid had already memorized. "...MAY GLORY BE WON FOR HOUSE RADSVID."

"Yes yes, very good then, be off with you and saddle up and such." Radsvid pulled out his tophat and monocle donning them from muscle memory alone "And by jove, cut that autist shit out, the tossing Hoin clan left already." The young dwarf relaxed his chest, placing on his tophat and monicle as well "Ah, very good then sire."

The dwarves all in unison broke for tea, crumpets, stouts, and cigars. By Jove, Golly, might I say so, and many other Dwarven phrases were spewed many a time. After brunch, the castle gym was full to the brim with the dwarves, all trying achieve maximum gains for their asthetics before reaching their end. Nain didnt lift, and that is why moria is what it
is today, the south side of the misty mountains.

Such fine gentledwarves could not be found in all of Arda, Valinor, oranywhere else than in Radsvid's Company. The lifting stopped as the band and choir got together. The horns opened up,
followed by the drums and accordian, then the choir

Од Торин је сала на Еребор
Да Еребор
Цела земља нападнута Дварвисх
Цела земља је напао
Радсвид ће водити патуљке
ће водити патуљке
Покажите им да се не боје ничега
Они се не боје ничега
Прљава Гобблинс, прљави гобблинс се пробудили
Не дирај нашу земљу
наша земља
Радсвид ће водити патуљке
ће водити патуљке
Покажите им да се не боје ничега
Они се не боје ничега
Из гвозденог брда, медведи долазе
медведи долазе
Будите уплашени, Гобблинс и прљавштина
Гобблинс и прљавштина
Радсвид ће водити патуљке
ће водити патуљке
Покажите им да се не боје ничега
Они се не боје ничега
У одбрани свих патуљцима
одбрана од свих патуљцима
Боримо се, славу наше слободе
слава наше слободе
Радсвид ће водити патуљке
ће водити патуљке
Покажите им да се не боје ничега
Они се не боје ничега
Покажите им да се не боје ничега
Они се не боје ничега

(click to show/hide)

The choir adjourned, the weights put up in proper order, and the army set out.
« Last Edit: December 17, 2013, 07:54:52 am by Built »
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Also, James, you were legitimately mad at a rhyming dwarf on the internet.

Offline Thalion_Menelvagor

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Re: War of the Last Alliance - Crusade against the Gobblin Realm
« Reply #4 on: December 17, 2013, 07:51:45 am »
0
implying we haven't all already left to attack other people--go attack FCC or something, shitbird

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It looks like FCC may be bringing fire and sword to our very hearth, if so we shall gladly meet them in battle.
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Offline Krosis

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Re: War of the Last Alliance - Crusade against the Gobblin Realm
« Reply #5 on: December 17, 2013, 08:18:46 am »
+3
Does anyone actually read all of this stuff?

Offline Dach

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Re: War of the Last Alliance - Crusade against the Gobblin Realm
« Reply #6 on: December 17, 2013, 09:32:53 am »
+1
Nope.
A lot of people in the NA community know that Dach rages and in the process of his uncontrollable rage, he tends to kick people.

You've been warned! :twisted:

Offline Jack1

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Re: War of the Last Alliance - Crusade against the Gobblin Realm
« Reply #7 on: December 17, 2013, 11:50:27 am »
+2
Kill the gobs
We're all nerds here, so it doesn't really matter.

Offline Jona

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Re: War of the Last Alliance - Crusade against the Gobblin Realm
« Reply #8 on: December 17, 2013, 04:11:03 pm »
0
On the eve of Ragnarok, the Warriors of the First Age launch their crusade against the Gobblin oppressors of Calradia. All brave warriors welcomed

(click to show/hide)


Thalion awoke with a start, the screams from a terrible nightmare still ringing in his ears. As he became aware of his soundings he heard that despite the late hour, the grounds of Radoghir
were alert with the sounds of men shouting. A few minutes later he had discovered the nature of the disturbance. Over the course of months he had put together a careful network of informants of spies to bring tidings of events throughout the whole of Calradia, now this spiderweb of information was aflame, riders were coming in from every part of the land all breathlessly crying the same message. War. A war to end all wars. The entirety of Calradia was in the process of tearing itself apart. Old alliances crumbled and bones of friendship were broken as all realms plunged into absolute darkness. Ragnarok was come.

With the wisdom bestowed on the elven kind, Thalion new that the rise and fall of nations was merely the way of nature, a great ebb and flow of the tides that swept away men's hopes and lives with total impartiality. It seemed such a tidal wave of destruction was now poised to fall on Calradia. So be it.

"Summon all our Captains of War to the castle! Ready all that can bear arms, kindle the forges, for they shall not grow cold again in this age of the world. The great darkness is upon us and upon the blades of our warriors depends the survival of our people! May a few survive to carry on the noble memory of Beleriand into the new age. Forward and sweep all foes before us in this, Last Alliance, between Elves, Dwarves and Men. Let us do what we can to cleanse the world of Gobblins ere the end, so that if any be left to tell our tale, they shall say that we stood true to the last, in defiance to the shadow, and spent our last strength to plunge cold steel in the wicked heart of the Gobblin King and all knaves who follow him. Forward for wrath and ruin!

And so the ring of hammers and the scraping of weapons on grindstones made an eerie music that played without pause within the grounds of Radogir Castle. All the captains of the WFA were summoned and given detachments of soldiers to be fired like arrows from a great bow, streaking towards the enemy's heart. So it was, that the Last Alliance marched forth from the gates of Radogir, shining host upon shining host only to be lost to sight in the darkening gloom now descending on Calradia. 

(click to show/hide)


Ragnarok doesn't sound very elvish, or dwarvish, or anything-ish from middle earth.

Don't you mean dagor dagorath?

0/10 poor rp.    :D  :mrgreen:  :P  <- anyone else's smiley's broken?  QQ
« Last Edit: December 17, 2013, 04:27:19 pm by Jona »
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"I'll have my lance aimed at Jona's knees and he'll jump up, run up my lance and kill me." -Dalfador

Offline Thalion_Menelvagor

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Re: War of the Last Alliance - Crusade against the Gobblin Realm
« Reply #9 on: December 17, 2013, 09:42:25 pm »
0

Ragnarok doesn't sound very elvish, or dwarvish, or anything-ish from middle earth.

Don't you mean dagor dagorath?

0/10 poor rp.    :D  :mrgreen:  :P  <- anyone else's smiley's broken?  QQ

Touché, Jona. I was using the term Ragnarok as i felt more folks would be familiar with. Mayhaps i shall amend this.

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Offline Jona

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Re: War of the Last Alliance - Crusade against the Gobblin Realm
« Reply #10 on: December 17, 2013, 09:51:55 pm »
+1
Touché, Jona. I was using the term Ragnarok as i felt more folks would be familiar with. Mayhaps i shall amend this.

Oh come on, I see the smiley's in your quote of my text, but on my screen they just appear as :

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No fair :(

But anyways back on topic: We are all huge nerds here. Yes, you should ammend it.  :P
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"I'll have my lance aimed at Jona's knees and he'll jump up, run up my lance and kill me." -Dalfador