Lets see if these are as fun for others as they are funny for russians
Source:
http://www.interpretermag.com/russians-beginning-to-laugh-at-putin/ A man comes into a drug store and says he isn’t feeling well. The druggist asks if he has a prescription. The man replies, “Isn’t a Russian passport enough?”
One Russian says he has watched “Planet of the Apes. The Revolution.” Another replies that he has listened to Putin’s latest speech.
A Russian is asked to name the Russian product which enjoys the greatest demand in the population. His response: Putin’s lies. “Why not vodka?” he is asked. To which the first responds: “Because the number of consumers of vodka is much smaller.”
Putin says that the Russian army will be supplied with the most advanced offensive and defensive arms. A Russian replies that this means he is again going to use women and children “behind the backs of whom will be concealed polite ‘little green men.’”
Putin decides that he will in no case fall behind the leaders of Western countries. When they introduce sanctions against Russia, Putin does the same, not only imposing sanctions but also imposing them against Russia.
Asked whether he plans to put up the iron curtain again, Putin replies that no, he will only use barbed wire this time around.
Putin acknowledges that the ruble of Russians has fallen but points out that Russians have risen from their knees.
The Russian Federal Service for Narcotics Control comes out against the legalization of drugs in Russia. Their reason? “Putin and Moscow television are more than sufficient.”
Given the number of airline accidents with which Russia is involved, it appears that Putin served not in the KGB but in the Anti-Aircraft Forces.
Two prisoners are talking. One asks “For what were you convicted?” The other says he created a comic strip showing that President Putin is an idiot. Under what paragraph of the law were you sentenced, the first asks, hooliganism or extremism? The second replies: no, not either of these, rather for revealing a state secret.
After Moscow occupies Crimea, Yanukovich asks Putin whether he can go to Foros and be the lawful president there. Putin replies: “No, you are only a lawful president in Rostov.”
When Putin is flying away from Brisbane, his press secretary finds him in tears. Peskov says he shouldn’t be upset by what the G-20 leaders said. To which Putin replies, “But I cannot forget that koala and how he embraced me!”
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