We will need all of the neckbeard trimmers we can get. Too many donkeys, +3 throwing lances, peasant gear, try hard gear. Catapult Top Shot tournament during battle, bounties on the top neckbeards. Getting extremely drunk for the battle is highly recommend, will be an award for most drunk.
Will assign donkey squads, wedge formation recommended.
Edit: I almost forgot about the +3 Stones!
