And so it begins...

[Switchtense]

bacon

[HardRice]

Europe is not a country, u moron

Europe is the 54th state, following Asia, Oceania, and South America.

[Tom Cruise]

HYPE ASS MURICAN MONTAGE INCOMING! HOLD ON TO YOUR SHIT EUROPE!

(click to show/hide)

But first play this

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(click to show/hide)

Its okay if you surrender. We would completely understand.

[Lt_Anders]

I can troll the whole america alone, I'm a hero

At least we haven't given up our stated goals, twice. You've waived your little white French flag a few times in strat already.

The only thing you've accomplished is proving your competent at posting on the forums and waiving solid colored flags. I guess it's in the blood.

[Canuck]

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Yeah, Canada!

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(Am I doing this right?)

[Hoppster]

i hope u manage to make it worth it..

[BoneSaw]

HYPE ASS MURICAN MONTAGE INCOMING! HOLD ON TO YOUR SHIT EUROPE!

(click to show/hide)

But first play this

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(click to show/hide)

Its okay if you surrender. We would completely understand.

^ I like Ben Franklin and his flag kite jet pack the best Thomas!

[Olwen]

40 infamy in one night, NA fatasses be so mad and hatin'

me be lolin'

Watch out, NA dislikers army's comin' to take over EU, see 'em rollin'

Serious part now:

Nobody fears american morons because you're all like

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[STR_aD_Sargon_eqv]

"The difficulty in understanding the Russians is that we do not take cognizance of the fact that he is not a European, but an Asiatic, and therefore thinks deviously. We can no more understand a Russian than a Chinaman or a Japanese, and from what I have seen of them, I have no particular desire to understand them, except to ascertain how much lead or iron it takes to kill them. In addition to his other Asiatic characteristics, the Russian have no regard for human life and is an all out son of bitch, barbarian, and chronic drunk."

- GENERAL GEORGE S. PATTON

let's start quoting those U.S. hypocrites chiacchierones with one gyrus... and that gyrus isn't in their heads.
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[KaMiKaZe_JoE]

Remember Vietnam?

March, 1968. Khe Sanh.

Joe sat on his haunches inside a crowded bunker and waited patiently for the bombardment to pass. He surveyed the wide, tired eyes of the soldiers around him, and marveled at their fear. One man was curled in the corner, shaking and mumbling. Another smoked his cigarettes too quickly. The highest ranked of them, a sergeant of some sort, had happened to duck in with them and waited impatiently by the bunker's dirt and sandbag constructed mouth.

He pitied these people. They were scared. Noobs and peasants, all of them. They were mortal, too, which perhaps explained the fear. Joe had gone many, many years without feeling that fear. He'd wandered the earth a hundred times over, never fearing death, reveling in his immortality. It had started with a flash of lightning--a fall from Olympus's heights, banishment--and it had ended here, in the 'Nam.

The last missile fell, and the men tumbled out, their funny, ranged weapons in hand. Joe could hear whistles screaming along one side of Khe Sanh's perimeter, and knew that Charlie was about to make another push. The American soldiers around him ran towards the raucous. It was time for XP.

Joe mounted his Champion Courser, left just outside the bunker. He put on his Thrice-loomed Bascinet. "Mars is with us, today. We shall level up a hundred times over."

Champion Courser looked around, confused. "Where the fuck are we? Where are the cops?"

"We're in the 'Nam, baby," he said. They had spawned just south of the base, for after dying in a race-riot in Chicago, fighting for equality against a police shield-wall. Shitty 1hers.

Joe drew his sword and surveyed the battlefield. Several hundred meters of trenches snaked and criss-crossed towards the barbed wire perimeter. Beyond that was a field--perfect for cavalry--and beyond that the dense jungle.

He would avoid the jungle. That's where the 2hers camped.

His horse surged beneath him, and the two of them charged through the trenches, past very confused G.I.'s, towards the din of battle. Ranged nerds had already begun exchanging volleys of fire--it seemed that every peasant and his mother fought with ranged weapons nowadays. He ignored the crack and snap of arrows and bolts. Courser took him past the barbed wire and into the field. They galloped forward, eager for kills.

The enemy army surged out of the forest, into the open. They didn't even have any polearms; it would be slaughter. And so it was. Joe and Courser flew at the nearest VC and cut him down before bumping another fifty Charlie on their way through the formation. They circled around again, and did the same thing. Soon hundreds were dead and Joe's k/d pleasantly padded.

Afterwards, back at the flags, Joe said to Courser, "I could get used to this. Certainly easier than Titans, or those assholes with the flip-fops.

She looked at him. "Those were Roman--"

A catapult missile--something that landed with a mighty boom--struck Courser and blew her to pieces. "Son of a bitch," Joe said. "Shitty catapult fuckers can't even fight fair wow." He tried to get into a bunker, but he, too, was struck by a catapult. It didn't even hurt, lol.

He waited patiently to respawn, surveying the battlefield from above. The timer ticked down.

It got to "1". His screen went briefly black--something new, that was. He opened his eyes. Instead of Vietnam, he was looking at an army of knights, like himself. They were marching past him, just feet away, along a dirt road. He looked around. They were all in a forest. Beside him stood an equally confused Champion Courser. This world looked different--less detailed, more blurry, generally ugly.

A woman in the robes of a sorceress, clutching a broom in one hand, stepped out of formation and approached Joe with a happy expression on her face. Joe spoke first. "Where am I, witch? What sorcery is this?"

She smiled. "Welcome to Calradia, nerd. My name's WITCHCRAFT." She waved over at a mounted woman behind her. "Kesh! I trapped us another one!" She turned back to Joe. "You live here now. I trapped you with magic. Welcome to the gayest place in the universe."

The woman did not lie. Joe felt it, in his loins. He was suddenly craving dick. This was a strange place, indeed.

[Pistachio]

All hail Gobblin king

[sF_Guardian]

How mad people get when it comes to history 

History is something you have to accept, not because the things that your ancestors spit on you are nice but because you can't change 'em.

[Chestaclese]

In the wine celler of Derchios Castle, Chestaclese held an impromptu meeting with sock puppets and corn-husk dolls to discuss the upcoming war with the Russians.

"The trouble with Russia," Chestaclese started, "is that it's full of Russians."

And Chestaclese made a few sock puppets laugh and giggled himself into a drooling state of desperation for air.

"Perhaps the time has come to reinstitute an old custom," Chestaclese continued. "Grant them Premo Knockers. First night, when any Russian mail-order bride is married, our nobles will have sexual rights to her on the night of her wedding. If we can't get them out we'll breed them out."

And then a sock puppet jerked Chestaclese off and the meeting was concluded.

[Garond_PL]

Goblins invaded EU? Damn we are so scared.

[Lemon]

Selling Ahmerrad for 8 lps