Absolute total filth

[FRANK_THE_TANK]

So your pretty crappy at video games, your job sucks and your hair cut is only "okay".

But how are you in bed?

Bring it mother fuckers, lets tell "camp" fire stories.

----

4 Years ago I picked up a back packer on a beach, what was a dirty week end turned into a filthy month.

She had to go to Sydney to get on a plane which is about 900km south of where I live. I didn't have a job and I did have a car so I thought "fuck it" and drove her down.

To this day I've never had so many blow jobs in a row, totally epic.

About a third of the way to Sydney is my old home town, and my mothers place. My mother was in Melbourne visiting the family so I took liberty with the property and dropped by.

It's bad enough when you have sex in and on everything in your own house, but when you go to your mothers house and repeat the process... You're just a tad fucked up

I'd been listening to a lot of Henry Rollins and something was stuck in my head "When I was 18 I wanted to fuck on the floor and break shit. When I was 25 I wanted to fuck on the floor and break shit. When I was 35 I wanted to fuck on the floor and break shit. Now I’m 40 and I want to fuck on the floor and break shit." - Henry Rollins

We stayed at the house for about a day and a half. Did it in every room, broke a couch, broke a dinning room chair, dinted the fridge with her head...

All of that was explainable, it was all minor damage.

On the last night I flipped her side ways across the bed, and then created a situation that was not as easily explained. On leg slung over my should her twisted down with my hand across the back of her neck I ploured her into the bed, after what seemed like ten minutes I heard a timber cracking sound, plank shot out of the bottom of the bed. Then it snapped, it snapped straight in half. My bed was now a giant V. Shardes of timber all over the floor and some poor English girl upside down lodge in the V.

I fell over laughing and did stop.

My mother never asked how the bed got broken in half

Aw mum, your a champ!

----

Filth, spread the filth!

[Clockworkkiller]

2 years ago, sometime in October, late at night, in the backwoods of Virginia....

i was alone, hoping to enjoy a bit of deer-hunting...i was making my way down the trail and found myself in a small clearing,
being that i was hiking all day with all my gear on my back, i was quite tired, so i decided to rest here for the night, i pitch shelter and drift off
..i was suddenly awaken by rustling outside my tent...i slowly unzip my entrance and come face to face with a large, black wolf......i was paralyzed with fear, and knew that i wouldn't have time to reach my rifle or knife to defend myself.....but for some reason, it did not lunge at me.......
instead it stood there, staring at me.......i, knowing something was weird, made the stupid idea of trying to leave my tent, right through were the wolf was standing....
to my surprise it back off enough for me to squeeze out, and i sat there outside, staring at it for the next 5 minutes.....then it motions toward me, slowly, until we were face-to-face......it lowered its head and the rubbed its snout against my large schlong. At first i was startled...but being the horny man that i was....started to relax and enjoy it....i unzipped my pants and removed my jacket, exposing my large erect schlong to the outside air.......it began to lick it....oh so slowly at first....but then it began to pick up the pace......next thing i know. im entering her(at this point i realized it was female) from behind....and she let out a beautiful howl, as i worked back and forth. my fingers ran down her dark thick fur....and her eyes glistened in the pale moonlight....i pick up the pace, her tail swinging back in forth, in correlation with my movements...then i lifted her up onto her hindlegs as i released into her, she lets out one last howl.......it was joyous night.....

we still keep in touch, me and that wolf.....

[FRANK_THE_TANK]

Epic

[no_rules_just_play]

bretty alpha

[Umbra]

I ass fucked a girl in a toilet of a bar we rented for a private party on new years eve. I came inside her ass. Supposedly she was "feeling ill" and i was "helping" her. Does this count?

[zagibu]

It only counts if she got pregnant from it and gave birth to a baby robot with the name "Golbo the Knave", and this robot grew to become president of the United States of Africa, which allowed him to uproot modern civility by tacking his shoes to the walls of a Chinese Karaoke Bar, in which Liam Neeson once sang his favourite song, to an audience that freaked out over the maddening tunes and caused the whole country to rebel against the socialistic tribunal of the lower desert nomads, who inherited their reign from Neil Armstrong Junior, the ruler with the iron lisp, always babbling about how his father should never have opened the stable that early, and how this single bad decision caused the proto-antitrons in the whole galaxy to align and swing in phase, leading to the greatest plummet of the construction industry since Henry Ford discovered the Faulk Islands during a trip in his leisure zeppelin, which was a gift from the queen of the amazons for the selfless sacrifice of letting them use his manhood to fertilize a third of their tribe.

Otherwise it doesn't count.

[Kafein]

It only counts if she got pregnant from it and gave birth to a baby robot with the name "Golbo the Knave", and this robot grew to become president of the United States of Africa, which allowed him to uproot modern civility by tacking his shoes to the walls of a Chinese Karaoke Bar, in which Liam Neeson once sang his favourite song, to an audience that freaked out over the maddening tunes and caused the whole country to rebel against the socialistic tribunal of the lower desert nomads, who inherited their reign from Neil Armstrong Junior, the ruler with the iron lisp, always babbling about how his father should never have opened the stable that early, and how this single bad decision caused the proto-antitrons in the whole galaxy to align and swing in phase, leading to the greatest plummet of the construction industry since Henry Ford discovered the Faulk Islands during a trip in his leisure zeppelin, which was a gift from the queen of the amazons for the selfless sacrifice of letting them use his manhood to fertilize a third of their tribe.

Otherwise it doesn't count.

how

[zagibu]

Strong semen always finds a way.

[Kafein]

My question was : how did this came to be written by something or someone ? I assume it's not you.

[zagibu]

I never copy or paste. All original content since I was born.

[Leshma]

When I read the title, instantly I thought this topic is about Courtney Stodden.

[Lars]

(click to show/hide)

So your pretty crappy at video games, your job sucks and your hair cut is only "okay".

But how are you in bed?

Bring it mother fuckers, lets tell "camp" fire stories.

----

4 Years ago I picked up a back packer on a beach, what was a dirty week end turned into a filthy month.

She had to go to Sydney to get on a plane which is about 900km south of where I live. I didn't have a job and I did have a car so I thought "fuck it" and drove her down.

To this day I've never had so many blow jobs in a row, totally epic.

About a third of the way to Sydney is my old home town, and my mothers place. My mother was in Melbourne visiting the family so I took liberty with the property and dropped by.

It's bad enough when you have sex in and on everything in your own house, but when you go to your mothers house and repeat the process... You're just a tad fucked up

I'd been listening to a lot of Henry Rollins and something was stuck in my head "When I was 18 I wanted to fuck on the floor and break shit. When I was 25 I wanted to fuck on the floor and break shit. When I was 35 I wanted to fuck on the floor and break shit. Now I’m 40 and I want to fuck on the floor and break shit." - Henry Rollins

We stayed at the house for about a day and a half. Did it in every room, broke a couch, broke a dinning room chair, dinted the fridge with her head...

All of that was explainable, it was all minor damage.

On the last night I flipped her side ways across the bed, and then created a situation that was not as easily explained. On leg slung over my should her twisted down with my hand across the back of her neck I ploured her into the bed, after what seemed like ten minutes I heard a timber cracking sound, plank shot out of the bottom of the bed. Then it snapped, it snapped straight in half. My bed was now a giant V. Shardes of timber all over the floor and some poor English girl upside down lodge in the V.

I fell over laughing and did stop.

My mother never asked how the bed got broken in half

Aw mum, your a champ!

----

Filth, spread the filth!

You should have blamed an angry kangaroo


"One night, a big and angry kangaroo broke into the house and  started punching me  hard in the face, i feared for my life, i was so scared, luckily i managed to lock the beast  in the bedroom.   The marsupial, feeling trapped, went berserk and destroyed the bed, then it jumped out the window and fled away"

(click to show/hide)

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[Nightmare798]

(click to show/hide)

Your job sucks and your hair cut is only "okay".

You dont get usually laid with handicaps like this. Lately, you wont get laid unless you are metrosexual with a mop in your head, and you are willing to go to the cinema watch twilight.

At least not in my country.

[Erzengel]

(click to show/hide)

Your job sucks and your hair cut is only "okay".

You dont get usually laid with handicaps like this. Lately, you wont get laid unless you are metrosexual with a mop in your head, and you are willing to go to the cinema watch twilight.

At least not in my country.

Excuses, lame excuses!

[Necrorave]

I got a blowjob behind a "Free Mason" building once.

That is about all I got.