Removing the cloak of his hood, Lord Adoptagoat paced into the throne room of Veluca and knelt in front of his King. "My God Emperor King Robert, I bring great news!" The King shoved the whore from his lap and sat up straight. "My dearest uncle, please tell".
"The rebel scum, Aldogalus, has fell for our scheme, and is terribly ill. He won't be on the battlefield for several weeks!" The king roared in approval, yelling for his squire to bring him wine. Adoptagoat's face remained stern. "I must also report, my King, that Pulse, the knight you have given to protect me, is no more."
"Were you attacked?"
"No, my king, we spent weeks trying to fulfill our plan. I personally picked, infected, and sent dozens of whores to Aldogalus, with the intention of infecting him with the virus."
"Yes, bad pron can be quite devastating to a man's system."
"Exactly, but after several attempts not a single whore managed to seduce the rebel lord. I then thought our batch of whores was to blame, and I had them executed.
"You murdered good whores?" The king said, outraged.
"I thought them to be conspiring with the enemy! But no, as it turned out, Aldogalus simply did not desire the touch of these women, or any woman." The King leaned in, interested in the tale. Adoptagoat shifted nervously, "It was then....My King, that Pulse came up with a plan to infect the rebel lord. Taking the virus, he infected himself, by applying the virus to his own rectum. He then proceeded to meet with Aldogalus, and after offering his....services, we finally managed to infect him. Sadly, Pulse's infection was much more severe, and he died on our return." The king leaned back in his chair, his face pale with the look of disgust. He placed his palm on his head. "For chadz's sake, Spymaster, could you not have simply told me the whore's did their job? I am a man of piety, I should not here of such blasphemies!"
"Apologies, My God Emperor King, I only wished to be thorough in my report." The king relaxed his shoulders, and stared up at the high ceiling above, shaking his head in disbelief.
