Author Topic: A Call to Arms!  (Read 8001 times)

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Offline Nightmare798

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Re: A Call to Arms!
« Reply #30 on: July 30, 2013, 02:20:51 pm »
+2
I asked it to leave my property, but it refused to go, and went straight for my fridge... We were peacefully coexisting with this monster, until my wife came crying one day, and told me it was making moves on her. :( When confronted, it told me, that it was twice the man i am, and if i don't know how to satisfy a women, it sure does. There was no reasoning with it! Once it got drunk on my finest Amarone, and raised it's hand on me... I got really upset, and was crying in the bathroom, until my wife came home and said she had enough of this bullshit! They were arguing for a while, then i heard glass being broken, along with intense sounds of struggle, and then my wife said it was over... She killed it with a shoe, and became my Paladin, guarding our home ever since.

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still better love story than twilight...
Tseng: Used to the bitter taste of refusal, this only serves to reinforce his greatest life lession yet.
Cloud: And that is?
Tseng: Bitches, man.

Offline Daunt_Flockula

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Re: A Call to Arms!
« Reply #31 on: July 30, 2013, 02:31:40 pm »
0
I actually find most insect dudes fascinating but when it comes to mosquitos and flies... Fuck them all. I won't give damn if they go completely extinct.

Also these bastards:
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These guys are adorable too but I recently saw one at home and it creeped the hell out of me to know that he was in my fucking house. The dude was nonchalantly scaling the walls and instantly vanquished when I approached it any closer. Harmless and cute but it disgusted me to think about it roaming my kitchen and personal stuff anyway. Apparently they sometimes tend to seek shelter in households during rainfall.

Sigh... I had to lay sticky traps all around the house to get him. When I found him trapped one morning, I at least tried to extract him out without harming the bugger. But its tiny feet were tangled up and I failed to do so. Sad story that this thread made me remember.
« Last Edit: May 28, 2016, 11:06:21 am by Daunt_Flockula »

Offline Rumblood

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Re: A Call to Arms!
« Reply #32 on: July 31, 2013, 08:11:22 am »
+1

 
When i was a kid, i used to set fire to all sorts of stuff. Parents were afraid to leave me alone at home. I was experimenting with different flammable liquids, burned a variety of plastics, created mutant soldiers out of heated action figures and such. Burned my hand once, hard enough to get it bandaged up to my elbow, but i didn't learn my lesson that time.
What made me quit playing with fire, was that time when i took an expensive pan, and used it as a stage for burning heretics. I made a set of human-like figurines out of stiff electric wires, placed them on the pan in the middle of our living room, read their sentence, covered them with some sort of highly flammable stuff, and PUF - they went up in flames! The main issue with that little project was that the pan got heated in the process so much, that it not only got irreversibly damaged on surface, but also burned a round brown circle on the wooden floor :( My parents got really upset, and i felt terrible because of it... I think my mom was crying a lot that day, though i don't really recall it that well.
But yeah, fire is fun! I would make a good arsonist... Three things in life you can watch forever: burning fire, running water, and living organisms having sex.

You ever do powdered creamer flash? Works great against clouds of gnats!  :twisted:

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Offline darmaster

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Re: A Call to Arms!
« Reply #33 on: August 01, 2013, 01:17:50 am »
+1
i say kill them all


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Offline Tom Cruise

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Re: A Call to Arms!
« Reply #34 on: August 24, 2013, 02:38:22 am »
+2
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Offline Kalam

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Re: A Call to Arms!
« Reply #35 on: August 24, 2013, 05:06:37 am »
0
So many of them. So many species I've never seen before. I see/am attacked by at least six insects every day. Half of those are fucking cockaroaches. I think there's a thread talking about my loathing of them here. I've become a neat freak because of it, and I personally prefer to leave my living quarters (with the exception of kitchen and bathroom) in a bachelor-esque mess while my wife isn't here.

Earwigs. Hornets. Botflies. Horseflies. Mosquitoes. Millipedes. Centipedes. Something weird smelly little things that look like fat, round millipedes. No idea what they are. Lots of spiders, but strangely, I don't really mind spiders.

I fucking hate Georgia.

Offline Sir_Hans

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Re: A Call to Arms!
« Reply #36 on: August 24, 2013, 07:03:16 am »
0
eeew that spider gif is sending chills down my spine and making me squirm in my chair...

Big nasty and lightning fast spider.... gyuuahahak :mad:

I'm with OP... insects are definitely my weakness. Even a honey bee will make me prance around like a little girl when they start inspecting me, then I feel like declaring to everyone in the vicinity that there was a bee so they don't think I'm crazy  :cry:

Offline Zomg

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Re: A Call to Arms!
« Reply #37 on: August 24, 2013, 08:01:16 am »
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Bees and other flying fucking creatures that does no good. I also fucking hate them. Back in High School, I just ran out of the class, closed the door and chilled there till the end of the class, for a couple of times - just because I noticed a flying fucked up creature.  I leave my table when eating, if I contact one even in open space and if that fucktard is intentionally flying by.

We shall recruit Spiders and Frogs to our army and put an end to what is to be the greatest human weakness of all time!

Offline Molly

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Re: A Call to Arms!
« Reply #38 on: August 24, 2013, 08:23:44 am »
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Request denied.

Spiders are already on the "Enemy of the State"-list. Frogs are fine!
When west germany annexed east germany, nobody moved a finger too.

Offline Zomg

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Re: A Call to Arms!
« Reply #39 on: August 25, 2013, 08:46:08 am »
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Let our enemy of the state, spiders, butcher the flying insects. Let them kill one another. And let us, from there-on, march to the victory!

FOR THE GLORY OF MAN-KIND!

Offline Utrakil

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Re: A Call to Arms!
« Reply #40 on: August 25, 2013, 09:39:27 am »
+5
I can happily announce that I was able to ambush and kill two of our enemies.
Yesterday I killed two wasps. I lured one into my meleerange with a blueberrymuffin.
Than I squashed it between cellphone and a cigarettpack. Like old snipertactics I let the corps
attract its mate. As soon as the mate landed next to the dead body the cigarettepack came down
from the sky to execute a mortal strike.

Now I am waiting for my medal of honour.
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Offline Zomg

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Re: A Call to Arms!
« Reply #41 on: August 25, 2013, 10:15:39 am »
+2
Ultrakil, you shall receive an Distinguished Service Medal; for distinguished service during war-time against our enemy, with exceptionally meritorious service. Be proud.

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Offline Utrakil

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Re: A Call to Arms!
« Reply #42 on: August 25, 2013, 12:14:00 pm »
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Ultrakil, you shall receive an Distinguished Service Medal; for distinguished service during war-time against our enemy, with exceptionally meritorious service. Be proud.

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Thanks thats gonna be my signature
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Offline Asheram

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Re: A Call to Arms!
« Reply #43 on: May 28, 2016, 04:05:43 am »
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Wonder what he did to piss off BEES
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Offline Jarold

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The Stink Bug Menace
« Reply #44 on: May 28, 2016, 04:39:19 am »
+8
You don't know true disgust, fear, and outright annoyance until you live in Virginia and battle nature's abomination, THE STINKBUG! They love to crawl on you or onto your bed and when you touch them by accident or roll on them they ruin your night/day by making you smell like the devil's anus. They also are mentally retarded, they have wings but they don't know how to use them. Half the time they are charging head first into my walls or fans, but then they will zip by my head constantly with the most annoying buzzing sound and eventually land on me. I swear these insects have no use on this earth, WHY DO THEY EXIST?! If you kill them they stink up the place, if you leave them alone they will find a way to make you touch them by accident and taint your body for hours. NOT TO MENTION THEY DOGGYSTYLE RIGHT INFRONT OF YOU CONSTANTLY!

But in the end they only stay in my house for a few months, even after sealing my windows they still come in to say hi. In the end I just deal with it. (I made this picsture, im so proud of murself)

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