The Gay Knight of Frisia strode out of the keep of New Rindyar Castle in his blue brigandine, mail chausses, and mail mittens. His glorious spiked hair, styled with American Crew Fiber perfectly framed his beautiful face that bore small brown eyes and a thick brown beard. He looked towards a group of the filthy, scum-covered squires and pages that dwelled within the courtyard of the castle. The Gay Knight of Frisia observed that they were being welcomed to Rindyar Castle and trained by both Assington and Sandersson whom had just left the keep. The Gay Knight felt disgust for their ignorant, heterosexual, and cisgendered ways.
"Vietnam fucking shits", he muttered aloud while maintaining a plain and stoic gaze in their direction.
Disregarding them and moving forward down the laid brick path that lead to the gate, he motioned to Havelle the Kindhearted, his Squire, to follow him.
They exchanged the common greeting between Knights and their Squires in the realm of the Frisian Freedom: a smile and the words: "sup my old friend".
Havelle waved his hand signalling to the men guarding the gate that they wished to exit the castle.
The Gay Knight spoke to Havelle, "Squire, go collect only the finest of throwing stones--masterwork stones if you would--from the nearby area. My stores for the AssClapping_KnobGobblin_Phag are almost depleted."
Havelle immediately complied, desperate to please him.
The Gay Knight spent a few minutes walking around the perimeter of New Rindyar Castle pondering the defensibility of his castle. Surely not even the strongest of enemies, the my old friend Companies of Calradia, or HoGay could possibly seize this keep from his control. It's walls were steep, its battlements strong, and the resolve of its holders was as firm as the bricks and mortar that constituted the castle's walls.
Gazing away for a moment, The Gay Knight laid eyes upon his squire as the strapping boy bent over to pick up stone after stone. "I wouldn't mind throwing him my stones, if you know what I mean", The Gay Knight spoke aloud as if some audience was reading a transcript of his words on an internet forum because they are huge fucking nerds. He was an admirable young lad. They had fought together in many battles and Havelle had always been among the best of squires.
"What a my old friend", he thought to himself with pride in his squire.
"Sir!", Havelle shouted, "... there is something here! I picked it up thinking it was a rock, but it appears to be a message to you and Sandersson the Autistic."
"How interesting...", The Gay Knight commented, ".... bring it here."
The Gay Knight took the message from his squires hands. The squires hands use to be soft but since his time at New Rindyar Castle they had gotten calloused and hardened. His hands were often filled with small wooden splinters. The Gay Knight had asked him about this before, and it appeared to make Havelle uneasy, defensive, and cause him to speak of furniture. The Gay Knight thought this rather peculiar and so let the topic go, never to be mentioned again between the two of them. Still... sometimes he saw Havelle looking lustfully at the wood pieces in his fingers and speaking to them. Perhaps he would have to keep a closer eye on his Squire.
Snapping back into the moment, The Gay Knight opened the message and read its contents in full. When Havelle could see that he was done reading, he asked his Knight "Well, what did it say?"
In response The Gay Knight simply said "just a bunch of unintelligible, grimdark, edgy, homo shit", and immediately crumpled the message and threw it on the ground again.
"Why must everyone be such gays?", he thought to himself as he walked back into Rindyar Castle with his squire.