What the hell are you speaking about? Are you using a buckler?
I am using MP Heavy Round and Knightly Heater and Kite Shields with 6 Shield skill, and if I get shot, it is 90% of the times my fault for not having it raised. The other 10% is either point blank crossbow shots that go through it, or my mistakes.
Maul crushthrough is a much smaller problem than a few patches ago, since they NEED to hold the overhead to have a chance to CT you, and this alllows you to try and spam them, so it is not unbalanced. Also, a shielder complaining about CT is like a 2her QQing about getting shot by archers...
About side hits, I find it annoying to see people block left swings with left blocks, but I see how it makes sense, if they get the footwork right it comes really useful. And I rarely get hit around my shield, all it takes is a little mouse movement and you are set.
It is in clusterfucks that shields really shine, they have never been intended to be elite 1v1 duelist classes (which they are not far from though, though I prefer to duel with 1h no shield), but the real beauty of being a shielder is to be on the first line of battle dancing around and drawing attention giving your teammates a big break from having to worry about blocking all the time. Pushing positions, holding them, gaining time for your teammates to backstab that pesky guy that is focused on breaking your shield, etc.
Overall, nice QQ thread, but completely disagree with you. Shields are fine. Otherwise why are there so many hoplites around? early connection and low glance chance of polestab helps, true, but I think it is the shield that really sets them apart.