Nah that's okay. It's not that it's hard... and I have most of it split up already, it's just at the kill me status because I've had to listen to myself sing like 7 times now... I feel like crying because it's so bad.
You're way too hard on yourself. You are likely singing into a headset in an untreated boxy room. Your signal chain is probably under $10 (onboard sound from motherboard). It's a public performance and the recording you have is post digital compression and transmitted streaming over the internet with voip.
It's like expecting to get a 5:1 KD at level 5 with peasant gear. If you really want to pursue singing there are a shitload of things you need to consider before judging yourself.
Speaking of judging yourself, my Greenday is way better than my Gnarls Barkley.