Dear cRPG scumnerds,
Prepare to witness the loss of any amount of pride that I actually have, which isn't much at all if any. I am sorry for being a nuisance or w/e you want to call me (any insults/titles/myface will be praised) and I realise that for the better part of my griefing I have been making the game more miserable for other players and I have decided that I will put porth effort to attempt to respect people that I don't know and the community/rules in general.
It is known now that I have been banned numerous times that I would even put the great Huey Newton to shame when it comes to the amount of bans we have comparatively. I do enjoy playing the game even if it provided perpetual anger most of the time, not at players but at myself and/or my internet provider causing me to become somewhat bipolar on top of my borderline personality, and now I will direct my grief towards something that is tangible such as myself.
I mainly wish to be able to play again because I get bored with most other games very quickly and there are only a few multiplayer games where I can stay attentive to for more than 5 minutes without losing my mind and Warband is definitely the top one. The other reason being that there aren't very many things that I actually enjoy doing besides gaming but even when it comes to gaming most games usually just make me angry for some odd reason because I usually am bad at most games that don't require just reflexes and coordination, I could say I'm decent at RTS's but the stress that the micromanaging puts on me usually makes me really god damn bipolar. Sorry if this paragraph was redundant but w/e.
I actually don't have a problem with any individual person personally, even the players that most of the community thinks are scumbags I don't personally dislike. So my trolling was just for my own benefit(imagine that)and because it was a good way to pass the time. I'd like to believe that most admins are unbiased for the most part, but it being an online game every admin is going to be biased at some point in time which is why I guess I've gotten away with being a gigantic asshat so many times. I've also put more time in this game than anything else that I've ever played, probably being around 6k or so hours when it's all added up, most of it being consistent playing.
Also, realising how much more fun I have being a useless shitbag on the computer all the time playing with all of you nerds rather than going out with my real life friends makes me want to play the game that much more than I already do, although I do think I needed a break from the game so the ban was for the better most likely. I don't have any hard feelings towards clans either, I don't know why I'm like that but someone besides myself making me legitimately disappointed and aggravated is an incredibly hard goal to achieve and no one on this game has ever been able to do that yet, not even in real life. I guess it was because of how I grew up with me being the person that got insulted but never took it seriously so I just became that kid that people insulted just because I never got angry so that took a significant impact on my self-esteem as I got older and even knowing I'm good at some things I can never seriously say it to anyone without feeling like a douche.
I have said that when said game comes out that I would stop playing Warband completely but I've never been able to live up to it, I'm not addicted to it but like I said it's one of the few things where I can get consistent fun out of for a long period of time, and the longest break besides this one that I've ever taken from it is about a month and a half but a good chunk of that time is me thinking about how much more fun I would have playing Warband than doing whatever it was that I was actually doing at that specific moment in time.
I will try my best to not be so edgy and do things just because people tell me to or however you want to go about saying it, I've always been like that though, doing things just because people told me to because I subconciously wanted their approval or because I didn't really care what happened to myself as a consequence for doing what I did, I guess I act ingame like I do because it's one of the only places that I don't get openly judged for acting like a dumbass. Although I do consistently get shit on in teamspeak or w/e but I know they're always joking even if it gets on my nerves at some point.
I have met a large amount of cool people just through this game that I have much more in common with than most people I meet in real life, and my interests in activities are very limited to games for the most part although I do enjoy other things. I guess like most teenagers I enjoy going out in a secluded place to drink and be dumbasses because it's "fun" I was never convinced that those things made you cool because I don't believe in something making you cool just for it being itself, and people who think that it makes them cool are crazy nerds, and I usually end up regretting going out like that a little bit afterwards, the only times being with my "friends" and always limiting it to once every other month.
So there you have it; my self-depricating life story about how I'm a shitbag and why I enjoy playing this game as much as I do, I tried my best to be as serious as possible without sounding like a complete lying tool so please consider unbanning me.
Poll