A tale of one hundred and three smelly peasants

[Sandersson Jankins]

"Hey, Chief! You better get your ass up here, this shit's weird."

"Jesus Christ, the hell do you think they're doing?"

Sandersson was currently witnessing the most bizarre situation of his life. The ramparts of New Rindyar Castle were bristling with quite a few extremely curious Frisians that couldn't quite comprehend the situation that was set before them. Of course, most of these Frisians were likely illiterate, possessing few skills besides those of butchering their fellow men. Even so, there were a few scholars among them, as equally baffled as the dullest peasant present.

"Well chief, it looks as though they're coming right at us."

"Yes...I can see this. I uh...suppose what I meant was...WHY are they coming right at us?"

"Beats me, chief."

One hundred and three peasants of the most dubious quality were sprinting as though the hounds of hell were nipping at their very heels. As they approached, the Frisians atop New Rindyar grimaced; these peasants smelled like absolute SHIT.

"Ugh. I can't even have my damn eggs with this foul stench about. Who're these swine under the command of?"

"I think it's someone named CRAPCONTESTANT, chief."

"I...see. And who would this fellow be representing?"

"I think it's a group named zero party, chief."

"Uh....huh. Well, I don't give much of a rats ass about any of this. All I want is those damned people off of our front lawn. Can't even have a bite of breakfast. I was under the impression that the rumours spreading around about the legendary stench of these southern interlopers was something like a joke. This ain't funny at all, this just stinks. Havelle, could you go get these people off of my property?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna go cut 'em up."

"Appreciate it, friend. Make it quick, I'm about to starve here."

[Sandersson Jankins]

The non-nerd version:

BADPLAYER was sprinting towards our castle at a high speed with 103 unarmed troops. I have many ideas of what he could be doing; none of them good for us. We've attacked him.

Oh, I almost forgot.

Shik has 2700 shiny troops not far behind him.

[Smoothrich]

Black man in a white man's thread.
Spergs in my way, I'm gonna make Kesh dead.

Removed for offensiveness.

[Sandersson Jankins]

^^^^^^^^

Why can't I upvote this more than once? Can't I make some kind of mega up-vote thing?

Respect for smoothrich just went up, even though we're gonna have to honky-bonk him one.

[LordBerenger]

^^^^^^^^

Why can't I upvote this more than once? Can't I make some kind of mega up-vote thing?

Respect for smoothrich just went up, even though we're gonna have to honky-bonk him one.

Stop being a racist.

[Keshian]

The non-nerd version:

BADPLAYER was sprinting towards our castle at a high speed with 103 unarmed troops. I have many ideas of what he could be doing; none of them good for us. We've attacked him.

Oh, I almost forgot.

Shik has 2700 shiny troops not far behind him.

Did he still have those 600,000 crates for an item bomb??  Yeah all you need is horses and you can still go pretty fast.  What a cheap move and with the help of a developer, I guess they were scared of a straight up fight.

P.S.  Great Role-play - kill those shit peasants!!

P.P.S.  Don't expect much, developers and their friends are immune.  Badplayer has been permabanned 3 times and shik just overwrites the other developers' ban of him because he is a friend troll.  Its the problem with having the developers and admins actually being active players - they eventually tend to abuse their power and no ramification happens to them, so they just keep abusing it more and more.

[Blackzilla]

lol Badplayer buys a new CD key every time he gets  Permabanned.

[Shik]

That castle in which you stand is the property of Bobweaver of JABONRA, under the protection of hero_party. Recently a certain MURDERTRON of FCC has raided and seized that castle with the force of arms and has gifted it to you. We merely seek to return the favor.

[Sandersson Jankins]

Nah, BADPLAYER dumped his obscene amount of crates before I spotted him. To my estimation, he was attempting a slightly less disgusting tactic of hitting our fief at 5am in order to lock down transfers, etc so shik could put his member in our tight, tender assholes.

However, what they've failed to account for is that I've developed some horrendous insomnia and have been having trouble sleeping. On top of already being a nerd of the highest calibre, in fact, being head nerd of several nerds awake at that time....yer gonna have trouble slipping a fast one by us. The sperg is strong with us. So yeah, we were ready for this shit.

(click to show/hide)

gf

Oh, and you're gonna get SHAFTED on this one. Bring it, motherfuckers. Our mommas didn't raise no cowards!

That castle in which you stand is the property of Bobweaver of JABONRA, under the protection of hero_party. Recently a certain MURDERTRON of FCC has raided and seized that castle with the force of arms and has gifted it to you. We merely seek to return the favor.

You'll seize nothing but our collective dicks in your collective assholes, zero party!

[BADPLAYER_old2]

Havelle attacking?

Is that another multiaccount of yours? Associated with account-sharers in your last clan, some of you maybe even banned for it and you continue to do things like this?
Two accounts.. pretty shameful, seems like FCC and co have more CD Keys than Harpag did.

[MURDERTRON]

That castle in which you stand is the property of Bobweaver of JABONRA, under the protection of hero_party. Recently a certain MURDERTRON of FCC has raided and seized that castle with the force of arms and has gifted it to you. We merely seek to return the favor.

Nah, you're just making shit up roleplaying.  While a raid did happen, a siege never took place.  I noticed my buddy Bob had run out of gold, and went to relieve him of what little troop count he had left.  He told me he had been AFK for 2 months and didn't care much for strat, which would explain the huge pile of PP.  Anyway, he transferred the castle to me peaceably and no siege ever occured.

[Sandersson Jankins]

Havelle attacking?

Is that another multiaccount of yours? Associated with account-sharers in your last clan, some of you maybe even banned for it and you continue to do things like this?
Two accounts.. pretty shameful, seems like FCC and co have more CD Keys than Harpag did.

Lol, come talk to him in our teamspeak if you're so worried about it. I'm sorry that you don't have the wonderful privilege of playing in NA_1 all day like me, but if you did you'd know he's had the game for about 3 weeks and has been coming up faster than all get out.

It's rather rude to have the whole "lol you're nobody" mentality, you know. Runs off the new players. I'm trying to get as many damned shitty rookies (not referring to the good Havelle here, he's a right asskicker now) as I can so I can bring them up myself. Helps the mod a bit more than a banner that is frequent to have several good HX players running around, do you disagree?

It's also a bit rude to just accuse me of multiaccounting, but I realize that you're just having fun in your own way, and I'm cool with that. Still just a bit uncalled for, I think.

As for the ban, I reckon that you know the story behind that, but if you don't, we jackasses in Pale Horsemen at the time gave Rhalzo our passwords so he could log into our account and make some moves for us, to simplify the story. It was retarded and I didn't give it much thought, caught a temp ban for it as I should have, and have now gone about my merry way. Again, I know this is how you have a good time on the forums, so it's all good. This is just in case you actually didn't know what had happened, and to clarify for the good peanut gallery.

[GOBBLINKINGREATLEADER]

Go mind your business trying to make someone mad who you actually have a chance of making mad, nerds. Your Zero Party ass is going to get a hot meat injection of pure Frisian cock.

(click to show/hide)

Havelle attacking?

Is that another multiaccount of yours? Associated with account-sharers in your last clan, some of you maybe even banned for it and you continue to do things like this?
Two accounts.. pretty shameful, seems like FCC and co have more CD Keys than Harpag did.

THIS PERSON HASN'T PLAYED THE GAME FOR 10 GENERATIONS LIKE AN ABSOLUTE SPERGNERD IN THE cRPGSPERGHERD, CLEARLY I MUST TREAT THEM LIKE A NO ONE.

Edit: Oh, and way to pull Shik's army out of the area when you saw that we were actually going to put up a fight and be prepared. Nerds. I've got something to show you; peep the avatar my old friendlords, it's for you.

[Havelle]

GF

[GOBBLINKINGREATLEADER]

I hope you enjoy EU BADPLAYER. Any other Zeroes you want to send at us can share your fate.