One day an archer died. Somehow he managed to never have sinned in his life (apart from all the gay archer stuff, but as it isn't defined in the Bible as sin...) and is standing in heaven. Saint Peter is checking his list: "Ah, yes, you are allowed to enter heaven. Please follow me to the Heaven's Gate, and there's you'll get your new equipment for your job as cupid."
The archer is very excited about his new job and eternal life in paradise, but as they walk over the clouds the key suddenly slips out of Saint Peter's hand and drops to the ground. Saint Peter bends down to pick it up again, and that's the moment where the archer is overpowered by his instincs and FUCKS PETER IN THE ASS!
Saint Peter is very upset about it and rubs his hurting ass, but as he is a christian saint he forgives the archer after ranting and cursing about ten minutes. But what are ten minutes in heaven, where you live forever? So they keep on walking, but Peter warns the archer that if he tried that again, it would be considered a sin, and instead of heaven he would land in hell. Finally they reach the gate and Peter wants to put the key into the lock, but he misses a bit, loses the grip on the key and it falls down. Peter sighs, and looks backwards: the archer is standing there, waiting and smiling friendly. So Peter gives it a try and bends down to pick up the key AND IS IMMEDIATELY BEING FUCKED INTO THE ASS!
One week after having the archer sent to hell, God notices how cold it's getting in heaven, Jesus is even wearing socks under his sandals. So they send Saint Peter down to hell, to check why they don't heat any more. When Saint Peter arrived there, the whole floor was covered with logs of wood, but no fire was burining. Hell was literally frozen. So he asked the devil: "Ey! You! Why the heck are you not heating any more? It's freakin' cold up there in heaven! Here are enough logs lying around to heat!" "Oh yes?" The devil answers. "So why don't you bend down and pick one up?"
