Haha sandy what is that I liked it.
In memory of chosen1. I don't know what happened. Maybe nothing happened. Maybe it was just crpg. People say it's the community. It's not. It's the moderators and admins. They're the biggest pieces of shit.
They act like they've done something amazing. They haven't. They took a decent game (and yes warband was pretty decent but it is the only game of its kind which makes it amazing) and they added a persistence to it. They added items that can be upgraded after a REALLY REALLY LONG TIME. They added leveling of a character and sometimes new models. It's pretty underwhelming.
They're cocky and arrogant. Sure they do "balance" the game. But really balancing a game is NOT FUCKING HARD. It may be TIME CONSUMING but it's not like they're balancing Starcraft or a MOBA.
Did the admins get to you?
Maybe it was the game itself. Maybe it lost its magic. There are only so many times you can kill someone with a sword?
The most addicting thing about crpg is the learning curve. I have instances of myself being owned BURNED into my memory. Do you remember the first time you came across Serge of Chaos and he swung-feinted-swung and you were dead? You just sit there at your computer in complete awe. You knew what he was going to do. He does it to you 10 times a day. There's only 4 possible directions (he used a mioadado so it was 3 and he only swung left to right so it was 2) but there's only 2 ways you need to block. The weapons don't swing particularly fast compared to reaction games and they aren't hard to see. Then how- how in the fuck did he leave you in the dirt like the fucking peasant scrub you are? How did he kill you without a pause to his stride?
Do you remember when you started getting good? People who used to stomp you proved easy prey. You topped the score board. You clutched that round and your heart was beating so hard in your throat it felt like it was cumming blood. AND YOU SWALLOWED EVERY DROP. People cheered your name. Your guildies gave you props. Your teammates praised you for preserving the HOLY X. You gave the people their heroin. You saved the multiplier.
People were relieved when you showed up for a strat battle. They were upset when you mercd against them. In the try hardest mode of the try hardest game you were the best. You were in the zone. Your team was getting slaughtered and your name was the only one coming up green in the combat log. 50 people in a team speak and you were the focus. You called the shots even when they weren't yours to call. Leaders wanted to talk diplomacy. You mattered.
Then it stopped. And that's how crpg stopped being fun for me. I hit my ceiling. I stopped getting better. I like to pretend to myself that "oh I stopped trying/caring" but that's bullshit. I reached the skill peak and then watched people I played with surpass me. And it sucked. It felt shitty. People stopped looking to you for advice. People you used to wreck would just style on you 24/7. Maybe you wanted to be good at something and found out you weren't.
Did you get bored?
Or maybe it is a shitmunity full of cocka-roaches.
Maybe it was their perception of you chosen. Maybe it WAS the community. Maybe it's that you feel disrespected by people you spend 8 hours a day around. Maybe for once in your life you wanted people to take you seriously. If you're a person who doesn't take anything seriously in a video game and you make innocent jokes you get labeled as a "troll." Happened to me. Goes even further though. People think of me as an asshole. People HATE me - people I had never said a mean thing to. I went out of my way to try and be as nice as possible in game - answering noob questions - only making jokes with people I was friendly with. People still considered me an asshole. Do you remember argaloth? In ts I would always defend the SHIT out of that little cocksucker. And when he left he acted like I was THE BIGGEST DOUCHEBAG ON THE PLANET. He wasn't someone I joked around with in a detrimental way like with sugar. I gave him advice on builds/weapons. Any jokes were innocent. I told sugar to fuck off when he was going at him too much.
Did you feel too much?
I hope you read this chosen. You're a good guy and I think you're funny. You made me laugh and your sense of humor is genuine when you want it to be. I wish you had posted more words in the clan thread instead of just pictures of things. I wish we had talked in game or even played the game together. I think you and I coulda stayed up until 5 am like I did with the rest of the guys. You missed out bro. Maybe you don't need it, but Frisia was such a great community. Most likely you're a well adjusted member of society, but to a pariah such as myself team speak was a godsend.
Is this post about chosen? Fuck no. I like you chosen and I'll miss you. But this is about ME. Pay attention to ME. Upvote this and pretend you actually read the mindless drivel. Quote it and say "bravo cikel i ate up every word you wrote you should totally be a ryter i would pay for your book of lif e wisdoms and experiences." Tell me what happened to chosen. Tell me you miss me or something. I miss you.
Edit: Biggest tradgedy is that I will have one less + than usual. There goes my inflated self worth.
