It's Only Business
The air was cold. Brisk even. It was like when you are trying to get into a pool but are afraid to let the cold water hit your balls. A chilling cold. It fit the occasion. Cikel was the first to arrive, but that was no surprise. Besides masturbating, not washing his hands, and then eating potato chips he didn't have much to do. Often times he still had the cream in between his fingers. He sometimes thought about using olive oil as lubricant but methods of deliverance perplexed him. Maybe if he got one of those little soap bottles and filled it with olive oil.....
Sikle jerked himself (lol) back to the present. Out of his
periperheral widescreen vision he saw a little boy walking towards him dressed in all black with black shades and a black leather jacket. On the front of the jacket said "bad boy" but the look on his face read "easy access". Cikels eyes casually scanned the boy. But it was no boy. It was Daruvian.
"Get fucked nerd" Daruvian flashed a perfect smile his way. Cikel recoiled automatically, not used to someone actually talking to him.
"Y-y-y you too" Cikel cursed to himself. How did Daruvian always know exactly what to say and how to say it. How was he so freaking
cool and driven. Daruvian was about to graduate from nursing school with a degree in clean up shit from dumb fat friends. He would most likely be working in an inner city "ethnic" hospital filled with vatos and real ass niqqas cleaning up piss and treating daibetus often times over worked and underpaid.
"Hey guys" That baby-esque smooth silky voice. A hint of cheerfulness with overtones of a more somber approach. It could only be one person. Havelle. Everyone liked Havelle. He was the type of nigga who would suck your dick and fondle your balls while you came. A real class act. Cikel thought back to happier, gayer, even lustful times. Havelle seemed to be holding up well, despite the loss of his precious table. A great tragedy for all- how cikel had longed to hold that table lovingly many a time. A real mother fuckin tragedy.
"What's good mother fuckers" The vibrant electrifying voice of peyton manning rung out a beautifully crafted mouth. Such lines. Peyton was the most financially secure of the Frisians. He ran his own man-whore service company. He offered top quality niggas for mid quality scratch. Peyton was a true baller and always a delight to be around.
"Well golly gee gallery yall!" That could only be one person. The square ish, devishly handsome, well meaning cracka ass cracker Mr Pink. Cikel wasn't exactly sure why Pink insisted on the Mr. bit. To the Frisians immense dismay, Pink was off limits. Out of the Frisians he was the only hetero. Imagine, sleeping with women. Disgusting. Why anyone would prefer a wet stanky vagina to a nice steaming pile of dick is indeed a mystery. Cikel didn't begrudge pink his happiness or relative normalcy. He was genuinely glad to see Pink.
"Sup dudes". And with that the final member of their party had arrived. It was Badoon. High off of cat piss as usual but still present and accounted for. Dressed fashionably in pink booty shorts, sunglasses, a tank top, and a backwards visor, you were never sure which stance badoon was swingin with. That is to say he was a bi sexual. But he never let you stick it in his ass. Fucking prude. But he did toss one good salad. MMmmMmm. Boy got skills. Badoon usually spent his days cruising the board walks of cali with his homies after huffing poisonous snails and yelling at those "dam latineros". Cikel was glad he made it.
"Shall we begin?" said the priest.
And with that the seemingly happy reunion took a harsher tone. For before them, in a casket, lay their beloved leader and all around basic bitch of a whore, Sandersson. He looked so small and tiny with his long ass girly hair braided beautifully. Cikel recalled the many times he had grasped that hair from behind, thrusting with all the force he could muster. They always made love in silence, often times when no one else was around.
"They say he unplugged his computer" muttered Cikel. "His brain coulnd't take the shock. Poor bastard only lasted 5 hours before he died of cardiac arrest."
Cikel was sad. A good woman boy had died this day. A friendly guy, albeit one stupid mother fucker, Sandy had never did nothin to no body. Maybe that was the problem.
The heroes looked on as the ceremony proceeded and various people came to pay their respects.....
The posts that started it all
http://forum.melee.org/diplomacy/new-bulugur-declares-war-on-anders/Havelle's New Bulugur Free Trade Republic Country Club and Conga Line Also Daruvian is Gay
declares war
on DL Legion.DL GAYGION
With enemies you know where they stand, with neutrals, who the fuck does he side with?
At this point, Anders(The leader) has not responded the diplomatic messages I have not sent. What kind of guy just ignores a new power on the strat board? Fuck him.
RP PORTION
Havelle reeled up his fishing line and returned to the dock at new Bulugur to find Anders calling him a my old friend. Havelle decided he wouldn't have it and declared war.
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Fuck Anders
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This Strategic Alliance Agreement (this "Agreement") is entered into as of this 16th day of April, 2013 (hereinafter referred to as the effective date of the Agreement), by and between Havelle's New Bulugur Free Trade Republic Country Club and Conga Line Also Daruvian is Gay, Daruvians Christian Gaming Foundation for Homosexual Youths, Cikel's Unified Network of Traders (CUNT) and The New Dusturil Liberation Force.
Article I
- Each faction of the Alliance mentioned herein shall declare a state of unrelenting war on the bastard thieves, harlots, renegades, rebels, and nerds colloquially known as the D'haran Legion Gaygion in recognizance of their offenses against Havelle's New Bulugur Free Trade Republic Country Club and Conga Line Also Daruvian Is Gay.
- Each faction of the herein Military Alliance shall be dedicated to the defense of their brother factions against threats both remote and close to home.
Article II
- Anders is gay.
Signed,
Archduke Daruvian
Daruvian's Christian Gaming Foundation for Homosexual Youths
And the least funny one that started it all
http://forum.melee.org/diplomacy/cikel's-unified-network-of-traders-declares-war-on-dl-legion!!!/msg764828/#msg764828DAHARN LEGIONS otherwise known as IDIOTS
PREPARE! The tide of turns are turning towards thee!!!
No long will we suffer under the shadow and stench of treachery
No longer will you be a landmark of hate and oppressions
WAR IS COMING!!!
Dead !!!
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And you know havelle in addition to the people you named (also what about kreamy, yaro, and michael dewitt) we had a bunch of non frisian bros
huseby, arrowaine, zlish, some random eu guy who sometimes comes in here and upvotes us, canuck, sparvico, artyem, malacalypse, that one guy I cant remember his name oh illdist lol, relit. Who knows there have been so many bundle of stickss in our orgies it's hard to remember. I think it's unfair you only picked 5 of us although I think it's fuckin cool but badoon been in the clan longer although not around as much.
