Got a totally different situation, just classic depression. Either I go down to a state of melancholy and dont even want to leave my bed, or Im on medication and get totally numb, like a zombie, cant feel shit. Both are quite equally shit. And then I have these short periods when everything actually feels okey, when I can focus on the good things in life and just live life like a normal person. But of course It doesnt last for long, you get back down hellhole, and you know what you're missing out on. You try to do all these positive changes in your life but never get the fucking reward, you try but suddenly you're tapped out of all your energy and will to do anything. I dont believe other people have a walk in the park, everyone got their ups and downs, but its kinda not worth it when its mostly down down down and it feels you cant do shit about it. Earlier this year I trained regularly and hard, pushed myself to my limits and loved it, life felt kinda good, met new people, had fun, got in a good shape. Then bam, depression, body aching out of anxiety and you just want to lock yourself inside your room and starve to death. Add social phobia/anxiety and mix. I fucking hate my brains chemistry.
