When I went to open my apartment door after getting home from the store, I put my groceries on the ground behind me then spun and stabbed the key into the lock without missing a beat, unlocked the door, and was promptly sucked into the black void abyss of infinity known as the porthole of hell.
While there, I met the Devil and asked him why the fates had forsaken me in such a manner.
The fattest, most bloated, and wretched of his imps rolled forward and spoke up in a shriveled gobbling manner of tone that chilled me to the bone..
"bweecuz te moshun issss inconceivable to meeeez"
I fell to my knees with tears in my eyes howling a guttural scream up unto the cataclysm that had become my temple.
From that day forward, the ability for humanity to physically pivot whatsoever had become lost beneath the sands of time to all but a few wise feline-humanoid hybrids who held such weighty secrets scribed in an undecipherable alien language beneath the spine of the world.
I was never heard from again.
