The funny part is every other forum I talk to about this game completely disagrees with you. I'd link other forums (SA, /vg/ etc) but you get the jist.
I've spent my entire cRPG career in gear worth 13 000 gold, sure I've made millions since I started nearly two years back, but my choice in this game was to play with little gear. I've done fairly well. I died a helluvalot in the beginning because I was a clueless moron, but since then I've been doing fine regardless of what level I am. You just have to accept that as level 1, you're better off as a supporting guy to the high levels. When you hit 15+ you can start fighting on your own and depending on skill defeat them.
Heirlooms are miniscule bonuses to gear. They add a little to the stats but not as much as you think. The most important factor, which is the skill factor, is still the most important one by far. In native you may find server filled with new players and you will have fun there being decent. cRPG only has a few servers and they're all filled with veterans, so yes, new players will die to them until they become veterans.
It seems, though, that I had a different mindset when I started playing. I chose 2h, because after playing the first M&B for over a year atleast, I had never learned to block with them. So I was a peasant in a world of plate and my first buy was a wooden longsword, which I used with little effect, trying to sneak in hits when the big guys weren't watching. Then I saw another ninja on the server one day and decided that he was so much more badass than the guys in plate, he was almost as badly geared as I was and he was racking kills. (It was Ninja_Thomek, who has been a 2h/thrower hybrid since forever, btw)
So my second buy was a katana.
This is what I look like on any given day, and I don't mean to sound like Bjord, but I do think most people believe that I can hold my own just aswell as any plate guy:
This mod offers you a chance to create a unique character. The idea is not that everyone should strive for the biggest most badassest armour around. The idea is that you make a character. I made mine in august 2010 and I still play him today.
Last EDIT: If you're unsure of what specs to do, search the beginner's help section. There's been countless of threads where people have asked for different builds and they're nearly always answered by veterans of the game and nearly all the builds there are viable.