This is not a troll thread, I think this is merely an attention seeking thread. Someone saw the marthastewart guy Duvo-whats-his-face and his bro-power antics and thought he could replicate it (and is failing miserably).
Moral of the story: Be original and don't copy other people's material Taeostine. This would be a bit more amusing and gather more views and replies if you were actually the first person to try this stunt, but unfortunately you are not.