PRESENTS FOR EVERYONE

[Ricky77]

I GUESS SINCE IM LEAVING TILL JUNE 9TH I WILL LET SOME LUCKY WINNER KEEP 100K :O

POST ME THE FUNNIEST JOKE , U HAVE 1 HR. PERSON WITH FUNNIEST JOKE WINS, IF U POST A JOKE I HAVE HEARD ALREADY, I WILL PEWP ON U

[RibaldRon]

Please include a list of the jokes you have heard so that we may avoid posting these, thank you.

Edit: Also, I have here a joke that is so funny that you will never stop laughing.  You will die of laughter.  Fortunately I have it on a pamphlet in a language which I do not speak, I have feared to translate it, as every German speaker I have shown it to has died of laughter shortly thereafter.

[Ricky77]

NU I LIKE PEWPING, NOW GO GO GO U ONLY GOT 45 MIN LEFT

[Tanken]

So a seal walks into a club....

(click to show/hide)

visitors can't see pics , please register or login

[Ricky77]

So a seal walks into a club....

(click to show/hide)

visitors can't see pics , please register or login

lol i like this one, go go go make morz 40 min

[RibaldRon]

NU I LIKE PEWPING, NOW GO GO GO U ONLY GOT 45 MIN LEFT

How many workers did it take to construct the golden gate bridge?

Only 24, there are just three pylons.

[Ricky77]

How many workers did it take to construct the golden gate bridge?

Only 24, there are just three pylons.

UM , i dont understand so i asked a friend, i dont play starcraft sorry . post another joke

[RibaldRon]

UM , i dont understand so i asked a friend, i dont play starcraft sorry . post another joke

"Life is just a suspension bridge," said one man. - "Why is that?" asked the other. - "How should I know?" was the reply.

[Ricky77]

"Life is just a suspension bridge," said one man. - "Why is that?" asked the other. - "How should I know?" was the reply.

um i dont understand /: another one please.

[RibaldRon]

um i dont understand /: another one please.

A blonde and her redhead friend are watching the 6 o'clock news, when they see footage of a man on a suspension bridge, threatening to jump off.  The blonde bets the redhead $50 that he won't jump, and the redhead accepts.  Sure enough, he jumps, and the blonde offers the redhead $50.   The redhead looks at her and says, "I can't accept this, I saw this story on the 5 o'clock news, and knew he was going to jump," to which the blonde replies, "Yeah, I did too, but I didn't think he'd be dumb enough to do it again!"

[Ricky77]

A blonde and her redhead friend are watching the 6 o'clock news, when they see footage of a man on a suspension bridge, threatening to jump off.  The blonde bets the redhead $50 that he won't jump, and the redhead accepts.  Sure enough, he jumps, and the blonde offers the redhead $50.   The redhead looks at her and says, "I can't accept this, I saw this story on the 5 o'clock news, and knew he was going to jump," to which the blonde replies, "Yeah, I did too, but I didn't think he'd be dumb enough to do it again!"

HAHAHAHA new best joke in thread. u got some competition tanken :O

[RibaldRon]

HAHAHAHA new best joke in thread. u got some competition tanken :O

Just glad to finally find somebody who appreciates bridges as much as I do.


.. suspension bridge. 

[Tanken]

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies, "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

Back on the phone, the hunter says, "OK, now what?"

[Ricky77]

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies, "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

Back on the phone, the hunter says, "OK, now what?"

LOL DUMB REDNECK, IN THE LEAD. 20 MIN LEFT

[RibaldRon]

LOL DUMB REDNECK, IN THE LEAD. 20 MIN LEFT

Three men are on a desert island when they find a lamp, rub it, and a genie grants them three wishes.  They discuss things, and realize they need to figure out a way to get off of the island.

One man wishes he was a little smarter, and he immediately swims off of the island.

The second man man wishes he was a lot smarter, so he spends some time, constructs a small raft, and sails himself off of the island.

This leaves the final man, who has been left behind, and can't figure his way out - so he wishes to become a genius!  He then walks over the bridge.