OK GUYS I KNOW MY LAST RIDDLE WAS DIFFICULT, SO I'LL DO AN EASY ONE THIS TIME:
HE HAS TWO THUMBS,
HE HAS A 3 INCH PENIS,
HE HAS 500 HEIRLOOMS,
HE PLAYS cRPG FOR 19 HOURS EVERY DAY,
HE IS 14 YEARS OLD.
BEFORE ANYONE GUESSES BALTON, ALTHOUGH HE DOES FIT UNDER EACH OF THOSE CATEGORIES, IT ISN'T HIM.