A distant rumble is heard in the frozen north of Calradia. Peasants drop their mead glasses, knight's horses rear. A gasp is heard in a Nord pub, as news breaks like a frost off a branch. A wench in the street screams, before an armored knight lances her through the chest. She crawls to a wall and scrawls two words in blood before she collapses. Men gather to drag off the corpse but the words remain, dripping and whispering, "Reddit... Goons.."
I as Smoothrich, Lord Protector of the LLJK Realm and Founding Father of the United States of America, hereby declare that henceforth a new alliance is born. One bound not by fear, hate, and tyranny, but by outrageously large player bases. By the best, and worst, of the memes that ruin our posting. By those with talent and ability in abusing lolthrust mechanics, and those who bought Warband on a 2 dollar Steam sale and their naive minds have yet to think "nerf ranged."
The Hounds of Chulainn and the Reddit Brigade, known as the Knights of New, will be moving in with the combined power of LLJK, USA, and BIRD CLAN, and we announce not claims of land and war, but of solidarity in bad threads, shameful KDs, and all that has ever been funny on the internet.
I've seen tomorrow. A day where, united, hundreds of players farm eels and craft straw hats, endlessly marching into ranged spam slaughter, not alone, but together. And tomorrow.. is today.
