If I didnt like you I wouldnt be sending this message. Its totally fucking retarded that you left Mercs over such a small little thing. Me and Nocti went around kicking each other from ts loads of times. We didnt leave because of it. After all the shit we have been through in this clan and the number of people that left, you stood strong with the few of us. Dont throw it away becuse of this shit.
I counted you as a friend, and I would hope that you would have to I. Come back, and dont become one of those weaklings we despised and laughed at for leaving.
If disagreeing with our leaders over a few decisions means more to you than the friends you left behind, then, not being funny, you can fuck off.
Muffin,
We have both been mercs for about the same amount of time, we have always been active.... even when morale was low, and tournaments hopeless because of the majority of our clan being inactive and or on vacation. And even then we still endured alot of morale drops, because merc leadership simply didnt care about it, since we didnt have strategus.
I always been a true Merc, i have dedicated alot of my time into Mercs.. and always remained loyal, and backed up every Merc on arguments. And i never asked anything in return, i only wished to be respected and acknowledged for what i was doing for Mercs.
There was alot more going on. I have been unhappy in Mercs for a longer time now. Basicly ive been unhappy in Mercs since the day Siiem and Xant left... following by Warlord and Koldborn. Thats where i started to not feel comfortable in Mercs anymore. But i kept on going anyways.
I have given out enough signals... and have always been in arguments with merc leaders, about my diffrent point of views. And i have told them they clench onto the past way too often, and that mercs itself realy changed. But i was always told to shut up, and that my arguments were invalid... and that i assume way to much.
I wasnt even heard out properly, and zero respect was given.
Strategus begun... and Mercs got excited again. some more old timers returned.. only to become inactive again after a week. I put in energy to meet Ravenuk, Replica and others... only to end up realising i was a waste of energy because they went inactive agian anyways.
I grew more unhappy, and felt realy disrespected... because none of the leaders wanted to listen to me, i was always told to shut up... and how Nocti was always right etc.
I felt like most on the forums did, that mercs was growing into an arrogant/elite and egocentric clan, but yet on the forums, ive always counter this idea... to try and make mercs better then they are... neglecting how i realy thought about it.
I was announcing it like 5 weeks before, that my mother would be going thru spinalcord surgery... and that it would be a risky one. I told the leaders and informed most members, that i would be staying at her home for atleast 2 weeks.. to take care of her.
But dedicated as i were, i took my whole computer system with me. So i could keep in touch with the Mercs, and transfer stuff on Strategus. I dont know how many times i said to mercs, that im realy busy.... and that ide rather not play or do anything.. because my mother needed all the attention i could give her.
Yet, out of everyone. the leaders decide too force a fief upon me...with its daily chores. I complained, and i was told it was only for 1 or 2 days. Sure i was pissed of, i felt not taken seriously about how i was caring for my mother... i felt unheard, and no respect at all for who i was. In the end nobody reliefed me of the fief... i guess they didnt care.
My morale dropped rockbottom, when i was told to literally shut the fuck up or be kicked from the strat battle. When i was trying to tell that we were losing too much numbers, and having to change our battle tactics.
I told Gingerpussy, that i was on the brink of leaving Mercs. But that i wouldnt, because i realised that mercs needed every help.. agaisnt FCC. And that if i would leave Merc morale would take a hit. And that it jsut wasnt the time for me too leave.
I have begged numerous times, for a little respect... by simply hearing me out, about what i had to say.. without being trolled or told that instantly hat i should shut up.. and that they were right, and i was wrong.
We got a new applicant... wich was a realy nice guy, skilled and active. But he was to chit chatty on times were TS should remain quiet. Since none of the leaders, or recruitment officers were on TS those days. Sphongle and me tried to tell him, and hint him. about his chit chatty habits. And i informed our leaders and recruitment officer on skype about the situation.
Nothing was done about it, and after a couple of days i snapped. I told the applicant to shut it, because im not some googlebot that answers every question.. and certainly not when im trying to play, and do teamwork wih other mercs.
I told him how it was vital for me to hear my game sounds, and to communicate with other mercs playing with me.
I told the leaders on skype that i was raging becasue of this.
The leaders at this point, must have been fully aware of how i felt.. and how i felt about mercs at this point.
Yet a small joke was decided.
Noctivagent thought it was funny, to give this new applicant admins rights to TS. to harass me a little and eventually kick me off TS.
Yes this was a small joke... and i realised it. But for me, it was another sign of not being taken seriously, and disrespected.
a small joke, yet big enough to be the last thing needed, for my departure.
So there it is, it is true. You could say that i left because of a small joke. But there was alot more history too it. I will not go thru every single detail
or give more situations wich made me feel unahppy with mercs.
I have had great times, great victories, i met great friends. I have dedicated for over half a year to Mercs, and always been one of the most active players.
But in the end Mercs changed into something, that i dont wish to be part of anymore.
I wish Mercs the best. But i also wish to put Mercs behind me now, its done. i am not coming back.
Soo i quess its how Muffin puts it, i will "fuck off"
But i do think of Muffin as a friend... and many more other mercs. If they are truely friends, it wouldnt need a clan tag to keep us together, or does it ?
I honestly believe if you had a few braincells... and actually think of this, and see the pattern to why i left, you would understand. But if you dont want to see this or hear it.. and remain ignorant and rather shittalk me and laugh about it, then i wont stop you. Sure ive done alot of trolling, but is this realy the counter argument used against one of your most active members, that was dedicated and loyal for over half a year? I think it was realy obvious when i was trolling or being serious.
I know where i stand.
I wish Mercs the best. But i also wish to put Mercs behind me now, its done. i am not coming back. x2
The 22nd realy opened my eyes.. and ive been having alot of fun there. Its time for me to enter a new phase on CRPG.
Jambi
