Author Topic: [TKoV]We are The Kingdom of Veluca (Recruiting Na)  (Read 49807 times)

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Offline Chestaclese

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Re: [TKoV]We are The Kingdom of Veluca (Recruiting Na)
« Reply #450 on: December 30, 2012, 09:38:16 am »
+2
As a high ranking member of the The Knights of Veluca I thought it a good idea to enter the fief New Amere and take a look around. I entered the Inn for a drink and inquired about the location of any young men of loose character.

"Over here mouth breather" said a man in a green and purple hood from a table near the back of the Inn.

A collection of throwing axes decorated the wall behind him and he straddled a crude looking pitchfork for support as he stood up to further persuade me to be his company.

"Hobb is it? The loosest of our men are at Halmar carving cudgels but I think I have a story your stupid brain would appreciate” the man I now recognized as Chestaclese propositioned.

“I think I’ll be on my way” I stuttered as I gestured to the bartender to forget my drink and backed my way towards the exit. Was no hope though. Chestaclese was persistent.

“Now, now Hobboclese” he joked while putting his arm around me before I could escape. “I have just the story. An uplifting tale for a man of your wits regarding a man of similar intelligence. Give me the pleasure of orating the ballad of Tom Cruise.”

He walked me back towards the table he previously occupied and sat me in a chair I could not escape from.

“Many mistake Tom Cruise of having a small inadequate brain. The truth of the matter however is that the majority of Tom’s brain is concentrated in his arms and legs. So while Tom has incredible muscle memory, he’s about as bright as a full solar eclipse on a cloudy day. While the majority of us wear armor in battle to protect us from others, Tom infact wears armor to protect himself from self inflicted blows. And there lies his one weakness and the only chance any opponent of Tom has, to somehow coerce Tom to remove his own helmet and wait for the fool to bash his own skull in. As easy a task this may seem no man has yet come close to defeating Lord Cruise. For while Tom is indeed stupid enough to remove his helmet if you asked him, not only can Tom not read, he has difficulty understanding basic fucking sentences. As if shooting Achilles in the heel was not enough, imagine Achilles was some stupid dog and Paris had coerce him to remove his boot before shooting.”

Chestaclese then looked me in the eye as if we held some untold secret and said, “I imagine only a slightly more intelligence retard could talk in such a way as to make Tom Cruise remove his helmet.”



"Threatening Chesty with tea bagging is clearly not worth the effort. It is like offering sex addict an orgy." - BaleofGay.

"ILL OPEN MY GIFTS LATER MOM, IM BUSY FIGHTING CHESTACLES IN AN ONLINE HORSE SIMULATOR GAME." - Oprah Winafrey

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Offline Rainbow

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Re: [TKoV]We are The Kingdom of Veluca (Recruiting Na)
« Reply #451 on: January 04, 2013, 12:30:23 am »
+3
The most important thing is that I am back.  Beware all non TKOV!!!
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Offline Trebor

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Re: [TKoV]We are The Kingdom of Veluca (Recruiting Na)
« Reply #452 on: January 05, 2013, 07:51:02 pm »
0
The god Emperor Robert King of the Kingdom of Veluca has returned!
So lets git jigg wiff it my babes!
« Last Edit: January 05, 2013, 07:55:43 pm by Trebor »
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All men pray for the chance to die on the battlefield, to die for their King, their Emperor, and their God. And for every good soldier that perishes in my wars, my cock will produce ten more

Offline Paniolo808

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Re: [TKoV]We are The Kingdom of Veluca (Recruiting Na)
« Reply #453 on: January 06, 2013, 11:58:24 pm »
+1
What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I’ll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I’ve led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o’ swag. I’ll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o’ pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o’ monsoon that’ll wipe ye off the map. You’re sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o’er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist. Not only do I be top o’ the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I’ll damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off o’ the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn’t, ye didn’t, and now ye’ll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I’ll shit fury all over ye and ye’ll drown in the depths o’ it. You’re fish food now.
"We can say that Maud'Dib learned rapidly because his first training was in how to learn. And the first lesson of all was the basic trust that he could learn."

Offline Kuyamzoleta

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Re: [TKoV]We are The Kingdom of Veluca (Recruiting Na)
« Reply #454 on: January 07, 2013, 05:32:40 am »
0
MAN I JUST READ THE LAST PAGE AND MAAAAAAN.

"twerk miley miley twerk"

Offline Kuyamzoleta

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"twerk miley miley twerk"

Offline bagele

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Re: [TKoV]We are The Kingdom of Veluca (Recruiting Na)
« Reply #456 on: January 09, 2013, 05:32:22 am »
+2
PULSE TOLD ME TO JOIN.

so I am applying yo.
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Offline Jaren

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Offline hamiler

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Re: [TKoV]We are The Kingdom of Veluca (Recruiting Na)
« Reply #458 on: January 21, 2013, 11:08:00 pm »
0
Think there should be a Rank thats called bastard for all robs kids i know thats half of tkov but where all my brothers at =(

Offline Tuetensuppe

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yes thats the problem, no more nice clans, everyone acts like theyre the real thing but all are just greedy backstabbing arrogant sons of bitches

Offline Jaren

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Re: [TKoV]We are The Kingdom of Veluca (Recruiting Na)
« Reply #460 on: February 11, 2013, 05:30:55 pm »
+2
Rally brethren for we are at war!
I take no fondness to slowly dragging our foes to the pits of hell through attritious battles and losses.

As an Empire we have had time to build such strength to a point where it has made us bold and arrogant against the forces that may stand against us... We must remember what unbreakable strength we share as a Clan, remember the bonds forged in all the reliance we can place when we stand together!

Night after night, horde after horde of enemies stood at the walls of Bulugha and Alburq, but we stood as a united force to drive our enemies back.

These Occitan and Chevaliers have their backs against the walls, and they have demonstrated that this will not be a quick hewing of foes...
They will fight and rage like the dogs of war we all are!

Now! I say to you, rekindle that flame... That drive to see a brighter future. Now is the time that we must redouble our efforts. Where we make our enemies remember how far and furious the strength of the Empire can go!

To the fallen and to the future, stand together for the Empire! For
VELUCA!



*yeeeaaaaahhhhh wasting time at work RP* 8-)
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Offline GOBBLINKINGREATLEADER

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Re: [TKoV]We are The Kingdom of Veluca (Recruiting Na)
« Reply #461 on: February 11, 2013, 11:50:39 pm »
+3
Hello,

http://forum.meleegaming.com/spam/na-power-rankings/msg721043/#new

I am Daruvian. You are filthy nerds. Here's a thread I made, and some of you are in it. Please review my submissions and suggest your own to come up with the ultimate NA POWER RANKINGS 2013 list.

Thanks nerds.

Did I already post this in here? I don't remember and I don't really give af.

Offline Jaren

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Re: [TKoV]We are The Kingdom of Veluca (Recruiting Na)
« Reply #462 on: February 14, 2013, 01:48:39 pm »
0
Rob! The front page info is OLD AS SHIT.
Update yo faction, Emperor.
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Offline KaleLord

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Re: [TKoV]We are The Kingdom of Veluca (Recruiting Na)
« Reply #463 on: February 15, 2013, 10:19:37 pm »
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H1 1'm f45ut
Kale: One of the cutest, chubbiest, asianiest faces in c-RPG. Take a look when you get the chance, guys. I will miss this beautiful man.

Offline Jaren

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Re: [TKoV]We are The Kingdom of Veluca (Recruiting Na)
« Reply #464 on: February 17, 2013, 12:39:37 am »
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