I am no expert so I pulled some builds off of various pages in this forum and modified them for my own preferences. Since our requirements are similar, I see no reason not to share the information I gathered from various sources in this post.
If you don't want to listen to a newb like me feel free to look through the first couple pages of this forum, there are plenty of other threads talking about different builds and equipment loadouts. Since you said you could find none that fit your requirements, here are some of my own.
This first build is the one I am using now for my first cav gen to see which role I like best. I can do 1h/cav, lance/cav, and 1h/shield melee very well. If you are still not sure what kind of cav you want to be, perhaps you would consider something like this for your first gen.
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Level: 30
Strength: 18
Agility: 18
Ironflesh: 1
Power Strike: 6
Shield: 4
Athletics: 6
Riding: 6
Weapon Master: 6
One Handed: 133
Polearm: 100
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This one is the previous build modified for just 1h/shield/cav. less weapon master, more ironflesh.
Level: 30
Strength: 18
Agility: 18
Ironflesh: 4
Power Strike: 6
Shield: 4
Athletics: 6
Riding: 6
Weapon Master: 3
One Handed: 131
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This build sacrifices some agi, speed, and maneuverability for more damage.
Level: 30
Strength: 21
Agility: 15
Ironflesh: 5
Power Strike: 7
Shield: 4
Athletics: 5
Riding: 5
Weapon Master: 3
One Handed: 131
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Here is a build i found with even more strength and durability, but my experience with 1h cav so far makes me think this won't be fast or maneuverable enough to deal with other cav.
Level: 30
Strength: 24
Agility: 12
Ironflesh: 6
Power Strike: 8
Shield: 4
Athletics: 4
Riding: 4
Weapon Master: 3
One Handed: 131
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If anyone with more actual riding experience wants to comment on any of these builds or add their own, I would also appreciate the feedback.