THE GOBBLIN EMPIRE is now accepting 2014 Faculty, Staff & Coaching Applications

[mcdeath]

Sadly, I am Half death. I do believe you will bite the bullet long before I bite the dust.

Wow I was supposed to say deaf. Oh well. I can't hear shit, generally.

I just called Anders and he said he is making a ban thread because those two posts were just god awful.

[dreadnok]

Name:Fuck off
Age:Fuck you
Does your dad know you're playing video games?:Fuck him too
Position applying for:Dean for telling people to fuckoff
Why should I pick you for the job?:its the only skill i have in IRL and the virtual world

[MURDERTRON]

Can I be head treasury embezzler?

[Sauce]

You win this time, Anders...

[dreadnok]

You win this time, Anders...

when doesn't the ban lord win sauce?

[Lord_Bernie_of_Voodoo]

Name: Berndog Clobbingshire
Age: 17, tender enough for a gobblin fucking.
Does your dad(s) know you're playing video games?: No, they don't.
Position Applying For: Dean's Assboy
Why should I pick you for the job?: #3 NA polearm, Ripe, young age, #1 NA jazz musician, i'm blonde/blue eyed.

[dreadnok]

I am accepted or what? I'm tired of this shit

[GOBBLINKINGREATLEADER]

Accepted/denied list will be posted today.

[ildist]

ur a shitlord

[dreadnok]

Accepted/denied list will be posted today.

Well today is right now motherfucker! I knew I shouldn't of quit my job at GameStop, my fucking life down the drain

[GOBBLINKINGREATLEADER]

Applicants can check below to see where they have been accepted. Holiday was the only person denied from a position, and Petunia or Dreadnok can be in charge of telling him what to do about.

Assistant Varsity Girls Softball Coach - Dynamike
Kinesiology Teacher - Canuck
First Year Chemistry Tutor - Phantasmal
Secretary of Telling People to Fuck Off - Petunia
Dean's Assboy - Duster
Shekelmaster - Zater
Space Jam Coordinator - Artyem
Dedicated Wrangler of Riran's_Autistic_Son - Havelle (sry sum1 needed to take job :/)

Newly made jobs for the excess of applicants:

Tsundere little boy: McDeath
Dedicated Wrangler of Anders: Sauce
Official Foreman of the D/Backup Secretary of Telling People to Fuck Off: Dreadnok
Master Race Little Boy Husbando/Backup Dean's Assboy: Bernie

[dreadnok]

Finally something I'm good at!

[dynamike]

So, I am taking my assignment as Assistant Varsity Girls Softball Coach serious. I just found my job description online:
http://www.applitrack.com/lakeridge/onlineapp/JobPostings/view.asp?all=1&AppliTrackJobId=482&AppliTrackLayoutMode=detail&AppliTrackViewPosting=1&ref=indeed.com

And I have a few comments and questions, marked below in red:

Assistant Varsity Softball Coach    JobID: 482
 
Position Type:   Share on facebookShare on twitterShare on emailMore Sharing Services0

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Closing Date:
01/31/2014
  Athletics/Activities/Assistant Varsity Softball Coach
Date Posted:
  1/24/2014
Location:
  Calumet New Tech High School
Date Available:
  02/03/2014
DUTIES AND RESPONSIBILITIES:             The High School Girls' Assistant Softball Coach will:
 
Assist Head Coach with a pre-season conditioning program. diggity
Coach positions that are assigned by the Head Coach. diggity!
Oversee all necessary equipment that needs to be taken to practice and games. diggity?
Accompany girls to all softball games, both home and away. diggity diggity aaaall right!
Attend to all injuries that occur in practice and games until parents or medical personnel can be contacted. nah, unless diggity related
Fill out injury reports on all injuries and give a copy to the Athletic Director. could very well be diggity
Assist the Head Coach with all statistical information. will assist only in head
Attend Softball Clinics when applicable in an effort to improve the Girls' Softball Program. more like soft spot

Please confirm revisions.

[Phantasmal]

Applicants can check below to see where they have been accepted. Holiday was the only person denied from a position, and Petunia or Dreadnok can be in charge of telling him what to do about.

Assistant Varsity Girls Softball Coach - Dynamike
Kinesiology Teacher - Canuck
First Year Chemistry Tutor - Phantasmal
Secretary of Telling People to Fuck Off - Petunia
Dean's Assboy - Duster
Shekelmaster - Zater
Space Jam Coordinator - Artyem
Dedicated Wrangler of Riran's_Autistic_Son - Havelle (sry sum1 needed to take job :/)

Newly made jobs for the excess of applicants:

Tsundere little boy: McDeath
Dedicated Wrangler of Anders: Sauce
Official Foreman of the D/Backup Secretary of Telling People to Fuck Off: Dreadnok
Master Race Little Boy Husbando/Backup Dean's Assboy: Bernie

What is my yearly salary? Do I get benefits and a 401k? If not, I may have to be slumming it on the streets.

[SP1N]

N1PS is now a GOBBLINETTE. I will follow the command of the GOBBLIN EMPEROR as long as it doesn't conflict with my daily routine and tea time.