Just came back from an almost two hours long quarterly meeting... What a waste of time! The last half an hour i kept pinching my elbows and arms, as I simply could not hold myself awake. Some people posses an incredible ability to talk for 20 minutes without refilling their lounges with air, using unbelievably long "introduction sentences" devoid of any specific contents, with only a tiny fraction of even remotely relevant information. That must take years of hard training to become this sort of Office Superhero!
There were only two bright moments: food and a female HR speaker. I finished my food in the first 10 minutes, and even though it was not something exquisite, it prepared me for the next half an hour - I managed to keep my chin up, and sit in a proper position, without sliding down my chair like a stranded jellyfish. But as the time went by, I was no longer able to keep an appropriate facial expression, mimicking intellectual process became an impossible chore, and i slowly drifted away in my inner self... As I was losing my last hopes, a shining light glanced across my weathered face - a new attractive female HR employee was about to begin her speech! I took a sip from my cup, and for the next 20+ minutes, I was far away from this boring meeting - me and HR lady, were exploring our sexuality in all it's forms! By the end of her speech, i have fulfilled all her desires, and there were no secrets left between us.
Then came the worst part of any meeting - the questions... In any company, in any community, and any group of people, however small it is, there is always this one individual, who is always ready to ask questions. While everyone else is about to pull a shotgun out of their pants, and commence a frenzied office massacre, there is a person who keeps asking questions... I bet others would cover me, if i put a stop to it, by throwing the bastard out of the window, while screaming "THIS! IS! SPARTA-A-A!" These natural office dwellers are feeding off meetings - there must be as special place in hell for them. Or at least i hope there is. An extra hot one.
Have to go back to work!