Messages

1

Strategus General Discussion / Re: anyone wanna start talking about the new strat?

« on: March 05, 2019, 03:22:05 am »

Yea why the fuck are some chinese rice farmers trying to take Fisdnar when only wheat and cabbage grows there?

they envious

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Diplomacy / Re: No but seriously who the [Expletive] is Saxton

« on: April 04, 2016, 05:27:51 am »

Saxton is a nobody desperately trying to be a somebody.

He's the kid in middle school who made up shit trying to sound cool, but the shit he made up didn't even sound cool.

"Hey guys, I had a colonoscopy."

"Uhh, alright."

"Yeah, man, totally crazy.  Now I have a bag attached to my shitter."

"Well, I think it's time for class."

"NO LOOK AT MY COLOSTOMY BAG IM SO COOL."

"That's a rope... attached to a tin can that's glued to your anus."

"COLONOSCOPY AMIRITE?"

3

Diplomacy / Re: If the Gobblins puss out

« on: March 26, 2016, 05:10:41 am »

Alright.  Let's settle this here.

sLaughter is the true GOBBLIN GREAT LEADER.

You'll all bow and form a line to lick my balls, and say thank you afterwards.

SWEAR FEALTY OR PERISH

4

Diplomacy / Re: Strat 6: Wars and Alliances NA

« on: March 15, 2016, 03:48:26 am »

Anyway, you should come and get me while you only have to fight on one front.  If Gobblins get here, I'll probably send some armies out.

We've got all the time and troops in the world, while you're starving in your shit-stained walls.

Sorry, not everyone has to rely purely on night time battles.

5

Diplomacy / Diplomacy Forum

« on: March 07, 2016, 07:07:10 pm »

I'm pretty new here so bear that in mind when reading this itty bitty rant.  This is just my observation from being here for a lil bit.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

You guys are the biggest babies I've ever met.

Someone on your side of the dickslapping contest spits out some incoherent babbling while smearing feces on his face like warpaint.  +1 that shit, nigga.

Anyone who fights against you does the same?  REPORT THAT SHIT AND FUCK HIS SISTER.

It's just a big pissbaby shit-fight, like gay chimpanzees.  No respect, no chilling.  Relax, niggas.  It's a game.  It's fun to talk shit but you guys just piss and moan and backstab trying to win the pixel war.

Shameful dispray

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Diplomacy / Re: DOO DOO DOO DOOOOOOO

« on: March 07, 2016, 06:53:52 pm »

Yes! More Peasants to the slaughter!

Peasants to me?  I don't want the peasants, they're like clingy aunts.

(click to show/hide)

kidding I love you guys.

7

Diplomacy / Re: GOBBLIN KING INVOKES LAW OF GOBBLECATHALON TO TEST ACRE IN LIGHT OF DISCONTENT

« on: March 04, 2016, 03:44:24 pm »

Nope, I could attack you, becouse There was reinforcements underway, but I decided not to attack, for that, I can proof why.
Btw, I did not need to buy gear, I have everything stockpilled in 2 mine village, I was just keeping an eye on you, or you didn't noticed that I was walking next to your army to see what you where gonna do.

For the rest, Hesky, I was planning to attack a fief of your's but with this crap goiing on, I hope you are chivalry enough to let me pass. I do not know if I will get anny merc support, especially when there are crybaby's in Goblins that didn't wanted that Acre joins them.

You type like a Somali pirate typing with his nose.

8

Diplomacy / Re: Dear James

« on: March 04, 2016, 03:31:55 pm »

People like to shit on James but I think it's important to remember he isn't hoc

Yeah, that's his worst quality.

Takes a man who doesn't give a shit what people think about him to wear the proud green.

GREEN REGIME.

9

Diplomacy / Re: Dear James

« on: March 04, 2016, 05:16:59 am »

Oh and to the inevitable invitation to Gobblins for shitposting, go fuck yourselves with a rusty rake.

10

Diplomacy / Dear James

« on: March 04, 2016, 05:04:07 am »

To King 'Call me Caitlyn' James,

You spent the entirety of last strat troopfarming, ok.  Sure, everyone gets busy (you weren't, but we'll pretend you were) and sometimes has to just relax and do their own thing.

Then you make the only good decision you had ever made at that point and let someone else lead.  Oh wait, then you immediately try to turn them into a puppet king and have your guys break raid rules and gearbug.

You alienate the entirety of your clan, and make many of them so bored of your shit that they quit the game entirely or join a different faction.

With a ragtag band of loyal idealists you join a decent faction.  Taser's a smart guy, and you finally stop troopfarming.  You take some AI fiefs and seem to finally be doing something.

Then the laws of nature kick in and you squat over and take a giant steaming shit on the emaciated orphan child that is the physical embodiment of Acre, breaking through the crust of the Earth to somehow take yourself (and your clan) somehow even lower.

You bend over, distended anus and all, to the Gobblerinos, swearing your undying prison-bitchdom.  Then they (by they, I mean everyone living, dead, and yet to be born) make fun of you and put you up to some ridiculous challenge just to hoist you in front of the entire community as their ragdoll fucktoy.

You proceed to swallow the erroneous amounts of cum dribbling down your chin and show off your toothless hillbilly smile like some cock-bent Oliver Twist, tugging on Daruvian's spirally cock asking, "Please sir, may I have some more?"

On behalf of everyone in this entire community: holy shit.

You have set new records on low self-esteem and cuckoldry.

I hope for the ruined chasm that is your asshole that you finally muster up the courage of a dead squirrel and chirp out to your stank-dicked master that you refuse his offer of a Gobblin gangbang and make your own 3-man faction of cockgobblers like your destiny foretold.

Sincerely,
Another person who is so embarrassed of you it hurts.

And no, not your father.

11

Diplomacy / Re: chill tf out ppl

« on: March 02, 2016, 04:42:04 am »

Hey I'm marching towards HoC lands if anyone wants to meet me in the field of battle. Otherwise I will gladly take a fief of yours for free!

Love,

Cikel

Sure thing, boo.  Will you lick my asshole after?

12

Diplomacy / Re: ACRE JOINS THE REALM OF THE GOBBLIN KING

« on: March 02, 2016, 04:18:46 am »

Landgrab any new players near you, form mega carebear faction, complain about carebears.

visitors can't see pics , please register or login


How Daruvian works.

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Diplomacy / Re: GOBBLIN KING ANNOUNCES PLAN TO RELOCATE THE DOGS OF CHIMICHANGA TO DESTROIT, MI

« on: March 02, 2016, 01:41:52 am »

2. You've just proven that you have autism by not being able to understand that Dogs of Chimichanga is referencing HoC (Hounds-Dogs of Chulainne(or w/e it is idgaf)-Chimichanga. Instead your autistic devious mind literally stretched so far as to hypothesize that because chimichanga had two c's in the word it must be referencing the Central Confederacy. Jesus christ. It's like you literally don't have a normal, healthy human brain.

Could you possibly put more effort into pretending not to be a tryhard?  Holy shit, kid.  Go clean off your cheeto dust.

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Diplomacy / Re: ACRE JOINS THE REALM OF THE GOBBLIN KING

« on: March 02, 2016, 01:39:07 am »

James bends over?  No way.

He plots from the very beginning to steal fiefs and gear and silver from the faction he's in to join the biggest carebear faction?  No way.

Who could have ever seen James being a giant fucking cuck coming?

This is too shocking, I'm having a heart attack.

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Diplomacy / The Siege of Shariz

« on: February 27, 2016, 06:43:43 pm »

Please note that the city of Shariz is under siege and the area is blockaded from both sides.

Visitors who have not been cleared with HoC command may be attacked without warning.