cRPG

Off Topic => General Off Topic => Topic started by: Leshma on February 15, 2016, 09:33:50 pm

Title: Your ideal home?
Post by: Leshma on February 15, 2016, 09:33:50 pm
Living in a flat (apartment for you illiterate rebels). Hate it. Hate my neighbors, not because they are especially vicious people (some of them truly are) but because of the very fact they live so near. Above me, left from me right from me. It is very definition of hell on Earth, for someone like me who suffers from agoraphobia. Made up illness used to explain people who hate being surrounded by a crowd. No panic attacks, just hate bunch of other people being so near me. Apocalypse can't come soon enough...

Small introduction, now back to topic. My ideal home is some fricking unpopulated area near Murican-Canadian border, but close enough to some bigger settlement. My fucking property, acres and acres of my own land. Forests, rivers, ponds, waterfall, what not. Like what that fucker has in Ex Machina. Private heli or jet. Awesome shit like that. Water around my huge castle-fotress kind of house. Doesn't have to be pretty, not looking for a Disney castle. Has to be huge. Bellow everything are tunnels, deep bellow. Net of tunnels. Bellow grazing grounds (need my own organic food yo) will be heaters so I can have gardens and cattle chewing whole goddamn year. In your face Mr Winter! Now the most important part. Everything bar house is a decoy. Bellow house it four times house deep. House is fricking spaceship, ready for evacuation when other rich assholes decide it is time for us fine gentleman to leave this rock. Sci-fi wish would be dome shaped barrier from Gothic games, around my whole property. Nothing can pass if I want it that way. Shame it isn't possible...

Yours?
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Butan on February 15, 2016, 09:41:05 pm
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Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Leshma on February 15, 2016, 09:44:06 pm
Already decorated with finest art of those old masters or you want to decorate it yourself?
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Casul on February 15, 2016, 09:45:16 pm
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Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Gurgumul on February 15, 2016, 09:48:42 pm
Quote from: Leshma on February 15, 2016, 09:33:50 pm
Small introduction, now back to topic. My ideal home is some fricking unpopulated area near Murican-Canadian border, but close enough to some bigger settlement. My fucking property, acres and acres of my own land. Forests, rivers, ponds, waterfall, what not. Like what that fucker has in Ex Machina. Private heli or jet. Awesome shit like that. Water around my huge castle-fotress kind of house. Doesn't have to be pretty, not looking for a Disney castle. Has to be huge. Bellow everything are tunnels, deep bellow. Net of tunnels. Bellow grazing grounds (need my own organic food yo) will be heaters so I can have gardens and cattle chewing whole goddamn year. In your face Mr Winter! Now the most important part. Everything bar house is a decoy. Bellow house it four times house deep. House is fricking spaceship, ready for evacuation when other rich assholes decide it is time for us fine gentleman to leave this rock. Sci-fi wish would be dome shaped barrier from Gothic games, around my whole property. Nothing can pass if I want it that way. Shame it isn't possible...
Sounds like a Minecraft player's wet dream lol.

Mine is just some small house, the building itself doesn't matter much. Next to it must be either garages, or a hangar to store cars, preferably heated and already equipped with all kinds of fancy machines and tools to work on metal. Around the thing are racing tracks, rally tracks, mountain passes etc. Everything all to myself of course, so that I don't have to share with those pesky peasants  :P
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Daunt_Flockula on February 15, 2016, 10:02:46 pm
Quote from: Leshma on February 15, 2016, 09:33:50 pm
Living in a flat (apartment for you illiterate rebels). Hate it. Hate my neighbors, not because they are especially vicious people (some of them truly are) but because of the very fact they live so near. Above me, left from me right from me. It is very definition of hell on Earth, for someone like me who suffers from agoraphobia. Made up illness used to explain people who hate being surrounded by a crowd. No panic attacks, just hate bunch of other people being so near me. Apocalypse can't come soon enough...

I can understand the frustration. I have this crazy bitch adjacent to my living room who with her astoundingly high-pitched ugly voice cannot stop scolding her 2 sons. Driving me crazy. I mean you have got to be tired of yanking your throat out at least 3-4 times every single fucking day.

Adjacent to my bedroom, there is this young conservative Muslim couple who have just had a baby. And they have these 2 stupid recorded music tracks (guess they are toys with buttons on them, playing the same shit over and over again when you press the darned buttons), which they might start playing in the middle of the night or at the earliest time of the morning possible. They seem to know no other way of making an agitated baby sleep.

Upstairs are my landlord and his family. And boy they never fucking stop having visitors. Quite unexpectedly (considering these too are conservative Muslims), they are not early sleepers. They will laugh and wallow like tickled zebras till around 2 am most days. I suspect they might be having orgies or something up there.

These aside, the stairway of the building is always crowded. There is always some idiot, and mostly several of them, going in and out of one of the flats and never giving a fuck about how loud they might be speaking at any given time of the day. The traffic goes on till early morning by the way.

On top of it, I live very close to a mosque. It is pretty much impossible to find a flat that is not so unfortunately situated in İstanbul anyway. I guess there is no need to talk about how the imam is raping our ears all the time. And this one mosque in particular seems to have cranked up the volume.


All things considered, my dream home should be as far as possible from the general population and any source of constant noise. Ideally surrounded by greens and forests, but not in savage wilderness.
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Falka on February 15, 2016, 10:24:07 pm
(click to show/hide)

Yeah, sth like that would do.
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Asheram on February 15, 2016, 10:39:15 pm
Quote from: Butan on February 15, 2016, 09:41:05 pm
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http://www.odditycentral.com/pics/21st-century-cavemen-30-million-chinese-live-in-caves.html
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Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: pogosan on February 15, 2016, 11:01:15 pm
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Malaclypse on February 15, 2016, 11:04:40 pm
A giant, gaping butthole.
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Armpit_Sweat on February 16, 2016, 02:31:59 am
Mkey, let's see...

I want this block next to Nørreport:

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I will tear it all down. Everything. Put a 5 meter tall metal spiked fence around it, something fancy looking though, similar to what they have around 18th century palaces. Humongous golden gate. A deep and wide moat goes all around on the inside of the fence. All sorts of huge exotic trees are planted throughout the whole area, like the ones they have in Vester Kirkegård. Cats. The largest cat sanctuary in the Scandinavia. Specially trained cat-keepers are tending to their needs round the clock.

K, now for my own quarters. A single spiral 200m tall tower in the middle of the Cat Garden. Red brick, bronze and 24-hour automatic multi-color illumination. No windows. A huge marble circular balcony on the very top of the tower. Every morning i step out on the balcony, wearing nothing but boxershorts and socks of two different colors, possibly with toe holes. All the lights would automatically focus on me, and I would scream in the top of my lungs using a powerful megaphone: "Here kitty kitty kitty, Heeeeeere KITTY KITTY!!!". I would then empty a 5kg bag of "Dreamies" cat snacks down from the balcony, different flavor for each day of the week.

I'm not picky about the inner arrangement of the tower. Wooden floors, walls painted white, dim artificial light, cat trees of most peculiar configuration everywhere. Master bedroom with a 3x3m rotating bed and top quality speakers concealed in the walls - nothing else. Servants should never be visible, all but one - a midget valet will follow me everywhere, and I will address the staff through him. Yes, there will be an artificially maintained temperature of 18C inside the tower year-round, so i will be wearing a very long snuggy, and my valet would be holding the end of it, walking behind me around the tower.

That would be the main features. The rest is all simple, like in any other rich house - a wine cellar, a small underground swimming pool, a gym, a bar, a movie thereat / video gaming room, etc.
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: WITCHCRAFT on February 16, 2016, 02:48:27 am
http://www.silohome.com/ (lots of pictures but they are small)

1962 Atlas F missile silo converted into underground lair house. Swanky cabin-style above-ground bits, underground bits are apocalypse proof with shit like a 2000lb blast door. And the best part:

Quote
Most of the location for these sites are away from mass populated areas so any enemy attack would not endanger people

It's in the middle of fucking nowhere, deep woods. No more people. Just peace and quiet. And your James Bond villain lair. Air strip included so you can return to civilization now and then.
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Murmillus_Prime on February 16, 2016, 04:05:55 pm
Quote from: Leshma on February 15, 2016, 09:33:50 pm
Living in a flat (apartment for you illiterate rebels). Hate it. Hate my neighbors, not because they are especially vicious people (some of them truly are) but because of the very fact they live so near. Above me, left from me right from me. It is very definition of hell on Earth, for someone like me who suffers from agoraphobia. Made up illness used to explain people who hate being surrounded by a crowd. No panic attacks, just hate bunch of other people being so near me. Apocalypse can't come soon enough...

Small introduction, now back to topic. My ideal home is some fricking unpopulated area near Murican-Canadian border, but close enough to some bigger settlement. My fucking property, acres and acres of my own land. Forests, rivers, ponds, waterfall, what not. Like what that fucker has in Ex Machina. Private heli or jet. Awesome shit like that. Water around my huge castle-fotress kind of house. Doesn't have to be pretty, not looking for a Disney castle. Has to be huge. Bellow everything are tunnels, deep bellow. Net of tunnels. Bellow grazing grounds (need my own organic food yo) will be heaters so I can have gardens and cattle chewing whole goddamn year. In your face Mr Winter! Now the most important part. Everything bar house is a decoy. Bellow house it four times house deep. House is fricking spaceship, ready for evacuation when other rich assholes decide it is time for us fine gentleman to leave this rock. Sci-fi wish would be dome shaped barrier from Gothic games, around my whole property. Nothing can pass if I want it that way. Shame it isn't possible...

Yours?

Similarly I'd love a house with plenty of land out in or nearby open countryside. Countryside with woods and plains teeming with wildlife and game and maybe even a stream flowing through it. I'd love to grow my own food and cannabis outside in large greenhouses, rear chickens and collect their eggs and every now and then let some mate with a cock and have chicken for dinner. Also I'd go on hunting trips now and then for my meat staple which would probably be small game like squirrels, rabbits ect. I would take up archery, crafts, carpentry and fishing to pass the time, while stoned of course. I'd also probably grow truffles and mushrooms along with the vegetables and cannabis.
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Son Of Odin on February 16, 2016, 04:20:08 pm
Quote from: Falka on February 15, 2016, 10:24:07 pm
(click to show/hide)

Yeah, sth like that would do.


"Oh, no...a coffin would be way too nice
Oh, no...a see-through plastic bag will do just fine"
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: sF_Guardian on February 16, 2016, 05:52:51 pm
Probably a tent placed at the shore of a sea. Not in Winter though, would need something else for that.

Would sleep outside if any possible anyways. Theres nothing better than looking at the stars while a slight breeze touches your skin and carries over the smell of your dieing campfire.
(Except a bath and hot coffee in the morning :D )
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Kafein on February 16, 2016, 07:58:15 pm
Quote from: WITCHCRAFT on February 16, 2016, 02:48:27 am
http://www.silohome.com/ (lots of pictures but they are small)

What the hell is that site
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Xant on February 16, 2016, 08:18:15 pm
Quote from: Leshma on February 15, 2016, 09:33:50 pm
Living in a flat (apartment for you illiterate rebels). Hate it. Hate my neighbors, not because they are especially vicious people (some of them truly are) but because of the very fact they live so near. Above me, left from me right from me. It is very definition of hell on Earth, for someone like me who suffers from agoraphobia. Made up illness used to explain people who hate being surrounded by a crowd. No panic attacks, just hate bunch of other people being so near me. Apocalypse can't come soon enough...

Small introduction, now back to topic. My ideal home is some fricking unpopulated area near Murican-Canadian border, but close enough to some bigger settlement. My fucking property, acres and acres of my own land. Forests, rivers, ponds, waterfall, what not. Like what that fucker has in Ex Machina. Private heli or jet. Awesome shit like that. Water around my huge castle-fotress kind of house. Doesn't have to be pretty, not looking for a Disney castle. Has to be huge. Bellow everything are tunnels, deep bellow. Net of tunnels. Bellow grazing grounds (need my own organic food yo) will be heaters so I can have gardens and cattle chewing whole goddamn year. In your face Mr Winter! Now the most important part. Everything bar house is a decoy. Bellow house it four times house deep. House is fricking spaceship, ready for evacuation when other rich assholes decide it is time for us fine gentleman to leave this rock. Sci-fi wish would be dome shaped barrier from Gothic games, around my whole property. Nothing can pass if I want it that way. Shame it isn't possible...

Yours?
Only fools and children dream of big homes. Real men live in reasonably sized homes that are easy to defend and secure. Everyone has bedtime rituals. Some need a bath, others, a cup of tea. Some like to read in bed, others, to listen to music. Men (nota bene: Men with capital M) prefer to sweep every room with a Glock in a two-handed, chest-level grip.
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Utrakil on February 16, 2016, 08:34:44 pm
damn you are obsessed with manlyhood! are you really lacking it that much that you are fantazising about it whenever there is a chance?
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Xant on February 16, 2016, 08:47:33 pm
Masculinity comes easily to me; indeed, I don't even have to try in order to be alpha as fuck. It is for the benefit of other men that I write these things.
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Butan on February 16, 2016, 09:06:48 pm
You missed lesson 1 of manhood: dont speak about how large your manhood is  :rolleyes:

Quote from: Leshma on February 15, 2016, 09:44:06 pm
Already decorated with finest art of those old masters or you want to decorate it yourself?

Undecorated cave with only basic stuff to not die from cold and be able to sleep.
Then with time you craft your home around you using the rocks as malleable stuff.
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: WITCHCRAFT on February 16, 2016, 09:17:33 pm
Quote from: Butan on February 16, 2016, 09:06:48 pm
Undecorated cave with only basic stuff to not die from cold and be able to sleep.
Then with time you craft your home around you using the rocks as malleable stuff.

oh, I guess this really is a Minecraft thread...
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Murmillus_Prime on February 17, 2016, 03:17:51 pm
Quote from: Utrakil on February 16, 2016, 08:34:44 pm
damn you are obsessed with manlyhood! are you really lacking it that much that you are fantazising about it whenever there is a chance?

He's probably become a member of a legalise rape group and attends anti-feminism seminars with like minded butthurts.
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Admerius on February 17, 2016, 04:10:01 pm
I win
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(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Xant on February 17, 2016, 08:31:28 pm
Quote from: Murmillus_Prime on February 17, 2016, 03:17:51 pm
He's probably become a member of a legalise rape group and attends anti-feminism seminars with like minded butthurts.
That meeting wasn't about legalizing rape, you ignorant swine. Do you believe everything tumblr feminists feed you?
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Murmillus_Prime on February 18, 2016, 12:09:01 am
Quote from: Xant on February 17, 2016, 08:31:28 pm
That meeting wasn't about legalizing rape, you ignorant swine. Do you believe everything tumblr feminists feed you?

 :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Tiger on February 18, 2016, 03:10:32 am
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Ikarus on February 18, 2016, 02:21:03 pm
austrian Vierkanthof ("four-edge-farm/court"), little bit modified to a small farm-fort-hybrid

(left one)
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Line up a garage, tool shed, wood storage, maybe small stable with chickens and goats and your house to a U shape and close it with a wall.  Tool shed, garage etc has high, small windows, too flat to crawl through but enough for light to get in. Make the house have 2 floors and put most of the windows to the second floor, first floor windows have massive metal bars as a lot of old farms here do.
(click to show/hide)

You can have a nice garden on the inside with tomatos, potatos, etc and maybe outside a small field with wheat, sweet corn (for me or the chicken) or just grass for the goats. Located sorta 20-30 mins away from the next city/10 mins away from the next train station so I have a good connection to the rest of the world in case I need a doc, grocery, etc.. A nearby forest, an own well and a nearby stream are ofc a must.

If there´s enough money I´d add a small belltower just because I´d love to have one (and so I can climb up there and enjoy the view from time to time).
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Prpavi on February 18, 2016, 04:30:01 pm
All this cottage in the wild sounds nice and all untill you actually have to do stuff than city life seems more and more attractive. Unless you are filthy rich and have someone literally wipe your ass then I'm down.
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Ikarus on February 18, 2016, 08:15:46 pm
Quote from: Prpavi on February 18, 2016, 04:30:01 pm
All this cottage in the wild sounds nice and all untill you actually have to do stuff than city life seems more and more attractive. Unless you are filthy rich and have someone literally wipe your ass then I'm down.

Quote
Located sorta 20-30 mins away from the next city
I think 20-30 mins would be okay for a distance to work/back
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Murmillus_Prime on February 19, 2016, 12:20:47 am
Quote from: Prpavi on February 18, 2016, 04:30:01 pm
All this cottage in the wild sounds nice and all untill you actually have to do stuff than city life seems more and more attractive. Unless you are filthy rich and have someone literally wipe your ass then I'm down.

I like the thought of "actually having to do stuff", live to live not work for money to live. But yes make me rich first.
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Prpavi on February 19, 2016, 10:39:15 am
Quote from: Murmillus_Prime on February 19, 2016, 12:20:47 am
I like the thought of "actually having to do stuff", live to live not work for money to live. But yes make me rich first.

I was talking about city kids not ones that were born in the cottage, I know it comes naturally to you.
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Vibe on February 19, 2016, 11:10:22 am
hood where no white devil gon hold a nigga back
that got good bitchez but no snitchez
this hood ain't for no fuck nigga
this one for them hood niggaz who was raised on tha street
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Prpavi on February 19, 2016, 12:24:21 pm
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Murmillus_Prime on February 20, 2016, 12:24:22 am
Quote from: Prpavi on February 19, 2016, 10:39:15 am
I was talking about city kids not ones that were born in the cottage, I know it comes naturally to you.

Hahaha.
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Prpavi on February 20, 2016, 01:54:04 am
Quote from: Murmillus_Prime on February 20, 2016, 12:24:22 am
Hahaha.

Weak...
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Golem on February 20, 2016, 05:16:48 am
Quote from: Prpavi on February 20, 2016, 01:54:04 am
Weak...
HA
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Sandersson Jankins on February 20, 2016, 06:14:46 am
I'd like to live in a smallish, cozy, inexpensive log home in a place mostly bereft of neighbors. Any possible neighbors would need to be like-minded and friendly, or at least very private people. If I can't have a bunch of folks over and fire off guns or other nonsense, I'd prefer not to live there.

At least a few acres of land is necessary. Of course, I'm also an intensely autismal nerd, so I'll require a great internet connection. I'll also require extremely easy access to the interstate for work/class commutes.

I'll probably end up just buying a trailer by its lonesome. I've got no qualms about living in a pre-fab building, long as it isn't a piece of shit.
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Murmillus_Prime on February 20, 2016, 11:49:26 am
Quote from: Prpavi on February 20, 2016, 01:54:04 am
Weak...

What's weak about laughing at your funny statement?
Title: Re: Your ideal home?
Post by: Son Of Odin on February 20, 2016, 10:41:18 pm
Quote from: Admerius on February 17, 2016, 04:10:01 pm
I win
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