cRPG

cRPG => General Discussion => Topic started by: NejStark on June 09, 2014, 12:39:52 am

Title: Text based battle while the servers are down.
Post by: NejStark on June 09, 2014, 12:39:52 am
I spawned, went for the spawnrape, got oneshoted by an awlpiking peasant.
Title: Re: Text based battle while the servers are down.
Post by: Daunt_Flockula on June 09, 2014, 12:42:20 am
Just a moment later, a stray plated charger ran over the agility whoring peasant from behind and knocked him unconscious.
Title: Re: Text based battle while the servers are down.
Post by: pepejul on June 09, 2014, 01:27:39 am
I fired myself a bolt in ma feet with my MW Arbalest....

I know it isn't possible in crpg but let me dreaminit !!!!
Title: Re: Text based battle while the servers are down.
Post by: Switchtense on June 09, 2014, 01:32:04 am
I limped towards the healing tent, when in the very moment of me reaching it fucking Steevee impaled my other foot with an arrow.
Title: Re: Text based battle while the servers are down.
Post by: NejStark on June 09, 2014, 01:43:59 am
I see Pepe trying and failing to shoot his own feet. Change char and respawn as HX on other team. Shoot him in the foot.
Title: Re: Text based battle while the servers are down.
Post by: Switchtense on June 09, 2014, 01:50:43 am
(Oh, misunderstood it and continued from PEPEs view, will make my own now)

After having killed Nej with my Awlpike, I make my way over to the little bridge cause I see another peasant running across it to Brocode with him.
Title: Re: Text based battle while the servers are down.
Post by: Lethwin Far Seeker on June 09, 2014, 01:52:42 am
Spawn in and advance forward with the group.  We encounter main force of enemy team in an alley.  I shout Elbereth Gilthoniel! as I charge in proper RP spirit.  I realize my team ran away and I am charging alone like an idiot.  As the 2h horde closes in on me and my doom is nigh.  I wonder if I can take enough out to get valour.
Title: Re: Text based battle while the servers are down.
Post by: spiritus on June 09, 2014, 03:36:52 am
go on main get one shotted by longbow rage quit go play xbow get one shotted frum cav bump rage go play longsword get oneshot by xbow rage go play main..... cycles like dat
Title: Re: Text based battle while the servers are down.
Post by: Sharpe on June 09, 2014, 04:20:52 am
Spawn in, pretend to be Oberyn and stab shit, going pretty well, run across a str whore in plate; get my head caved in by a Masterwork Longsword/Bec.
Title: Re: Text based battle while the servers are down.
Post by: Indus on June 09, 2014, 04:59:17 am
Spawn in after respeccing my STF into a wildling marauder.  I see Pepe off in a field trying to shoot himself in the foot and decide that's someone I'd like to protect.  I head in his direction.  In doing so I pass by Lethwin's alley and see him kill one of the horde inexplicably not wearing a helmet with a deft right swing.  As he moves on to the next target an unseen longmauler crushes him instantly.  Finally making it near Pepe's position I miss the freshly minted HA aiming for his feet and indirectly catch the bolt in my face killing me instantly.   


[really wanted to play that stf]   
Title: Re: Text based battle while the servers are down.
Post by: Ubereem on June 09, 2014, 05:26:52 am
Rolls in like a Murican badass and lays waste to EU scum.
Title: Re: Text based battle while the servers are down.
Post by: skayfa on June 09, 2014, 05:30:05 am
A dark room, I see Elvis, Axl Rose and Beyonce choking on meatballs.
Title: Re: Text based battle while the servers are down.
Post by: HungryNBroke on June 09, 2014, 05:40:24 am
*Attempts to log onto server
**Validating serial number
***Unable to connect to server

Twiddles thumbs

*Attempts to log onto server
**Validating serial number
***Unable to connect to server

Watches episode of A Bit of Fry and Laurie

*Attempts to log onto server
**Validating serial number
***Unable to connect to server

Dreams of food

*Attempts to log onto server
**Validating serial number
***Unable to connect to server

Gathers $2 in change from around the apartment
Drives to Taco Bell and back

*Attempts to log onto server
**Validating serial number
***Unable to connect to server

Smokes a joint and eats tacos

*Attempts to log onto server
**Validating serial number
***Unable to connect to server

Begins making this post

*Attempts to log onto server
**Validating serial number
***Unable to connect to server

Finishes post

*Attempts to log onto server
**Validating serial number
***Unable to connect to server

One last try

***SERVERS SHOW UP***

edit: they are down again...





Title: Re: Text based battle while the servers are down.
Post by: Ubereem on June 09, 2014, 05:44:26 am
Money for weed but no money for food I like it. And people wonder why most stoners are skinny and not fat from munchies.
Title: Re: Text based battle while the servers are down.
Post by: HungryNBroke on June 09, 2014, 05:50:05 am
Money for weed but no money for food I like it. And people wonder why most stoners are skinny and not fat from munchies.

Got it for free from a generous friend. :p
Title: Re: Text based battle while the servers are down.
Post by: Sir_Hans on June 09, 2014, 07:42:59 am
My character is standing motionless near the viscount while I fap on the toilet AFK.  8-)
Title: Re: Text based battle while the servers are down.
Post by: no_rules_just_play on June 09, 2014, 08:03:52 am
At the start of a new round I steer my +3 courser over my spawning teammates while pressing 'qqw' and 'qics'
Title: Re: Text based battle while the servers are down.
Post by: Panos_ on June 09, 2014, 08:17:55 am
Field by the river, I spawn, and my team rushes the ruins while I, rush the upper bridge all alone!

Suddenly I`m surrounded by Chase, Muffin, Tommyy, Atze, Alexjei and I see Thomek and Khorin coming from my rear trying to surround me, and then I GTX.
Title: Re: Text based battle while the servers are down.
Post by: Molly on June 09, 2014, 08:47:31 am
Spawn in and QQV as the very first thing and then start running. While I pass PEPE I wonder what he's doing with the crossbow aiming down on the ground... While I still wonder about PEPE, GK_Musashi couches me from behind in minute 6:23 of the round.
Title: Re: Text based battle while the servers are down.
Post by: BlueKnight on June 09, 2014, 10:09:17 am
Dunno what exactly PEPE is doing with that crossbow, but it's a good moment to nudge him. At least he won't ctrl+M me like BlackBow.
Title: Re: Text based battle while the servers are down.
Post by: Kafein on June 09, 2014, 10:26:34 am
I quickly go back to the server screen to look for text based siege.
Title: Re: Text based battle while the servers are down.
Post by: Macbeth3 on June 09, 2014, 11:19:57 am
*Joins the server, Equips his Sword, shield and good armor*
*Spawns*
*Meow* =3
*Charges into enemy crowd*
*Notices tons of ranged and starts dodging*

visitors can't see pics , please register or login


^  Totally how It would go down! :3
Title: Re: Text based battle while the servers are down.
Post by: Strudog on June 09, 2014, 11:54:46 am
Spawn ----> Headshot ----> Quit ----> Uninstall
Title: Re: Text based battle while the servers are down.
Post by: pepejul on June 09, 2014, 11:56:58 am
PEPE plays FIFA2013 atm.... try to TK mates and throw shit on goalkeeper.... unsuccessfully.... shit Mount & Fifa
Title: Re: Text based battle while the servers are down.
Post by: Macropus on June 09, 2014, 12:15:23 pm
Meanwhile I stand at the edge of the map, in peasant clothes and a long axe, trying to cut down some trees for roleplay's sake.
Title: Re: Text based battle while the servers are down.
Post by: Aprikose on June 09, 2014, 12:16:12 pm
Meanwhile I stand at the edge of the map, in peasant clothes and a long axe, trying to cut down some trees for roleplay's sake.
How far did u get?
Title: Re: Text based battle while the servers are down.
Post by: NJ_Legion_Icedtea on June 09, 2014, 12:24:21 pm
QFY QFY QFY QFY

I charge forward into battle
Title: Re: Text based battle while the servers are down.
Post by: Macropus on June 09, 2014, 12:26:57 pm
How far did u get?
Far enough to get accused of leeching.  :)
Title: Re: Text based battle while the servers are down.
Post by: woody on June 09, 2014, 12:37:28 pm
First round spawn slightly late, immediately couched by enemy cav spawnraping.
Round two, run in group of infantry, see enemy group, we all charge, all teammates stop without me realising, 6 vs 1 instant death.
Round three, run off on own no longer trusting team, dodge cavalry, enemy HA sees me, follows shooting me, die after 45 seconds of utterly pointless dodging while getting shot hoping he will get bored and fuck off.
Round four, run in group of infantry, get 1 shot from other side of map. QQ in chat prompting 12 people to write QQ and get a shield.
Round five, quit, go to EU2, its conquest, 4 people on server, quit. Swear never to play crpg again.
Round six, back to EU1, run in group, get behind archer that one shot me and smash an axe in his fucking head. I like crpg again.
Title: Re: Text based battle while the servers are down.
Post by: Utrakil on June 09, 2014, 12:38:17 pm
I charge into battle with the main blob. suddenly there is no main blob anymore and I think fuck it I go cav hunting with my 1h sword.
After dehorsing the first cav I get so overexited that I try to confront face-on with a heavy lance.
FAIL AS ALLWAYS
Title: Re: Text based battle while the servers are down.
Post by: Joseph Porta on June 09, 2014, 01:00:06 pm
Headed the wrong way - FUCKING FOG WTF WHERE AM I?!
Title: Re: Text based battle while the servers are down.
Post by: //saxon on June 09, 2014, 01:34:40 pm
Spawn in late, instantly think "fuck.." and expect a instant death from cav. Notice its raining, think "fuck sake rain again.."

so far not so good. look at how many players alive on my team, we are outnumbered 10.
takes me forever to locate the main group in rain.

i see some green text so there is still hope, notice 4 archers together "ye your alright" sneak by them unseen still trying to locate main group.
after 2mins ive managed to survive with all my HP from spawning late in the rain. and the teams are even.

i manage to find what looks like the main group on my team, i try to navigate the best way to them avoiding any enemies. it was challenging but i managed it.

im with my team now and im thinking how i should approach the team fight that's coming up.

no need i take one step and im couched in the back, bumped over and headshotted by a thrower, xbower and an archer with no arrows. i smile and think cRPG.