cRPG
Off Topic => Spam => Topic started by: Falka on January 08, 2014, 06:58:12 pm
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I have known Germans, and even worked for them: the lowest conceivable level of humanity. A German produces on average twice the faeces of a Frenchman. Hyperactivity of the bowel at the expense of the brain, which demostrates their physiological iferiority. French travellers knew immediately when they had crossed the Alsace frontier by the abnormal size of the turds left lying along the roads.
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Wat.
Must be true.
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Polandball, stop daydreaming and get back to work. My toilet is dirty.
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I have known Germans, and even worked for them: the lowest conceivable level of humanity. A German produces on average twice the faeces of a Frenchman. Hyperactivity of the bowel at the expense of the brain, which demostrates their physiological iferiority. French travellers knew immediately when they had crossed the Alsace frontier by the abnormal size of the turds left lying along the roads.
Hard for me to judge, since i haven't seen any German or French turds... but my pride, as a Russian, suffers greatly! I am against self-promotion, but i will make an exception this time, to provide some unverified evidence of my abilities:
Damn, i hate taking a shit at work :( Normally, i can always hold it in until i am back home, but today was one of them rare occasions, when i had to unload no matter what...
It was a perfect plan! Waited until late hours, so there is not much action in the hallways, and everyone who had to shit after lunch - are done with their business. Monitored the area in front of the toilets for a minute, to insure there were no co-workers nearby. All sound and quite! Rushed to the handicap cabin, since it is separated from the others, and is more spacious and comfortable. Placed some paper in the bottom, to silence the splashing as much as possible. Took my pants down and pushed hard for a quick release!
Jesusallmightygod it was huge! Felt like i am giving birth to a fucking whale! No sound what so ever... Hmm... Knew right away that something is wrong! As further inspection revealed - my log of shit was so long and came out so quickly, that it penetrated the water surface and reached the bottom without breaking... Half of it was just laying comfortably on the inner side, almost reaching the toilet seat.
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Maa-aaa-aaan, even after 3 consecutive flushing it was still standing firmly straight in the middle! Had to break that mfucker using a toilet brush, and literally push the parts IN the toilet! Imagine my face, when i realized that my shit blocked the pipe, and water is filling the bawl without actually going any further! O-M-G! Fuck fuckeddy fucking fuck!!! Brown-yellow stinky soup, almost up to the edge! Luckily, a few seconds of desperate brush twisting in the toilets center unclogged the shit-dam, and my feces rushed into abyss! All was still quiet outside, as i sneaked back to my place. Pffff... What an intense end to long and boring working day!
True story! Took me 20 minutes to write it down, and I am ready to go home! Freedom!
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Polandball, stop daydreaming
I dreamt about Jews every night for years and years.
Fortunately I have never met one, except for the whore from the Turin ghetto when I was a boy (though we exchanged only a few words) and the Austrian doctor (or German, though it's all the same).
my pride, as a Russian, suffers greatly! I am against self-promotion, but i will make an exception this time, to provide some unverified evidence of my abilities:
Since the time when that man Gobineau wrote about the inequality of the human races, it seems that if someone speaks ill of another race it is because he regards his own to be better. I have no bias. I realise that my compatriots aren't able to make proper shit.
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I don't even
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I have known Germans, and even worked for them: the lowest conceivable level of humanity. A German produces on average twice the faeces of a Frenchman. Hyperactivity of the bowel at the expense of the brain, which demostrates their physiological iferiority. French travellers knew immediately when they had crossed the Alsace frontier by the abnormal size of the turds left lying along the roads.
At least Germans did not surrender to just about everyone in the events of war.
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Don't hold it, its probably the no 1 reason for bowel cancer.
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The Prague Cemetery by Umberto Eco :)
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The Prague Cemetery by Umberto Eco :)
:wink: The beginning of the book is hilarious :P
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Germans make good porn, they have my simpahty
also armpit post make my day for real
PD: I saw some red spots on your shit armpit, you should go to the doctor. I hope it is only some normal anal bleeding due to the agressive dilatation of the moment. :rolleyes:
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...
also armpit post make my day for real
...
this *wipesawaytearsoflaughter*
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There is a health condition called Fecialunasus which can generate after a short period of time while having waste plastered between your buttocks. To prevent this you (or some one who is with you) must use a tool such as a flat head screwdriver to chisel away at the dried waste. This may cause some pain due to the solid feces tight bond with your anus. Make sure that all the waste is removed. If it is not removed in the hour following your trip to the bathroom, it will bond with your skin and turn into an orange colored cement-like poop rock that can only be removed by surgery. If the surgery is not performed, skin will eventually grow over it causing a permanent deformity.
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Germans make good porn, they have my simpahty
also armpit post make my day for real
PD: I saw some red spots on your shit armpit, you should go to the doctor. I hope it is only some normal anal bleedgin due to the agressive dilatation of the moment. :rolleyes:
Considering the toilet-to-shit ratio, I think he ripped his butthole :D
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Im not a auschwitz survivor, but i've had to work with germans for 6 months, it wasnt as bad but i never wanna do it again.
Work is not only a religion to them, its a fucking life and death struggle, everything has to be perfect, what is relax? what is break? have fun? what does this mean?
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Then Paul is no real German, cause his code is full of bugs.
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OP translation: Germans are full of shit
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The Prague Cemetery by Umberto Eco :)
GOD DAMN!!! :o
I thought it was just a reference to something relatable to OP, but you KNEW! You RECOGNIZED THE FUCKING LINES! Wow, i am genuinely impressed!.. Never read it myself, since i dont read modern stuff, but it seems like an interesting book :)
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Hey, lines from that book are quite easy to recognise. It's definitely an interesting book, like anything from Eco, you should read it :)
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i will
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Im not a auschwitz survivor, but i've had to work with germans for 6 months, it wasnt as bad but i never wanna do it again.
Work is not only a religion to them, its a fucking life and death struggle, everything has to be perfect, what is relax? what is break? have fun? what does this mean?
Öhhhm...hey...we have fun: playing crpg :mrgreen:, employ our women :wink:, love hearty food :oops:(is this right so..my english skills r not the best)
What's wrong to work hard? Ofc everything must be perfect, or i have to buy my car in China :mrgreen:
When we chill, all the time long, we achieve nothing.We are not cave men.
We r the: future :mrgreen:
and Ps..this is a *shit* topic :!: :wink:
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Work is not only a religion to them, its a fucking life and death struggle, everything has to be perfect, what is relax? what is break? have fun? what does this mean?
Why should work be fun? You are already getting payed for it.
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Why should work be fun? You are already getting payed for it.
smash ppls and get payd...belive me...i have fun at work :mrgreen:
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I enjoy most of my work. Then again, I have a very relaxed working environment:
Boss tells me "I need this till xx.xx.xx!" and then it's my business how I get it done. Sometimes I need more hours than I get payed. Sometimes I'm done after half the time and just play with my balls the rest of the time... :)
And since it's my name on the project at the end... Hell yea, it better is perfect. That's just a natural thing. I take pride in the things I create when they work flawless and maybe even are elegant in their design and solution.