cRPG

Strategus => Diplomacy => Topic started by: BoneSaw on July 02, 2013, 08:15:21 pm

Title: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: BoneSaw on July 02, 2013, 08:15:21 pm
Relit of Raven-"Come on over to our lands then. Nobody is afraid of you, Bonesaw". Challenge accepted my not so very smart friend. I said we are going to suicide for XP then exit strat.  You then save me the time of picking my target by volunteering your clan for it. Real smart. XP will be good. Hope your true enemies don't take advantage of it(cough cough).
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Carac on July 02, 2013, 08:17:11 pm
HoC's skill will surely win this war! The strong, sober leader with his great wit and the most skilled clan in cRPG will lead him to victory!
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: GOBBLINKINGREATLEADER on July 02, 2013, 08:18:22 pm
It doesn't hurt that you have the best NA cavalry on your side.

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Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: BoneSaw on July 02, 2013, 08:20:14 pm
HoC's skill will surely win this war! The strong, sober leader with his great wit and the most skilled clan in cRPG will lead him to victory!
We'll see carac, talk like that is why we are coming for ya'll anyways. Already got your clan in a war they didn't want/need. What else can you do for them today?
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: HarryCrumb on July 02, 2013, 08:21:52 pm
Carac would like to officially re-apply to join HoC as a Lord or higher rank. Please consider his application.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Carac on July 02, 2013, 08:22:29 pm
Bone, the fact that a person on the internet chaps your ass this much really shows what kind of man you are. And solving it by wiping off a 2D digital map will really help
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Relit on July 02, 2013, 08:22:54 pm
You are no friend of ours, Bonesaw. You betray the ancient passage rights granted us from the Velucan Empire, insult our leader and threaten our members. All over some petty nonsense.

Send your armies this way. Ours will be waiting.

Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Tanken on July 02, 2013, 08:25:33 pm
A rumble beneath the earth gives way to a blast of light reaching forth across the sky and into the clouds above.

Magic? In Calradia? What sorcery is this?

This is no magic my friends, the Ghost Army of KUTT has risen again, and this time, it aids its former rivals...The Ravens.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Turboflex on July 02, 2013, 08:25:53 pm
Bonesaw you might have actually made some money selling off your fiefs if you had kept your mouth shut.

Now you won't get anything and will have to spend more time farming DTV instead.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: BoneSaw on July 02, 2013, 08:28:25 pm
Bonesaw you might have actually made some money selling off your fiefs if you had kept your mouth shut.

Now you won't get anything and will have to spend more time farming DTV instead.
What part of we're done with strat don't you fellas understand?
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: BoneSaw on July 02, 2013, 08:29:35 pm
You are no friend of ours, Bonesaw. You betray the ancient passage rights granted us from the Velucan Empire, insult our leader and threaten our members. All over some petty nonsense.

Send your armies this way. Ours will be waiting.
Good , I'm on my way big fella.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: GOBBLINKINGREATLEADER on July 02, 2013, 08:30:31 pm
oh boy this is gonna' be good
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Kirbyy on July 02, 2013, 08:30:50 pm
Bonesaw you might have actually made some money selling off your fiefs if you had kept your mouth shut.

Now you won't get anything and will have to spend more time farming DTV instead.
\

*Farming new players into his SUPER UBER COOL FACTION THAT HE TOTES LEADS WITH HIS SKILLS  LOLOLOL!!11!!1!!!1!1!  In DTV, I'm serious, the only reason he goes into DTV, is to farm new players into joining his faction with shitty players.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Carac on July 02, 2013, 08:33:46 pm
"Hey, come join HoC!1!11! Make sure to turn in your strat troops1!!!"-Bonesaw. Why the fuck do you think HoC has such a bad rep. Well: 1. cuz they're shit. 2. you recruit every motherfuckin 13 y/o gg
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Phantasmal on July 02, 2013, 08:35:43 pm
Bonesaw, after reading your forum posts I believe you would be the perfect diplomat for the glorious United States of America. Attached below is a link to our website where you can begin filling out a quiz to test your competency (it is just a formality, don't worry!).

http://careers.state.gov/officer

Best of luck,
Phantasmal_Damsel_Astralis
Head of Foreign Affairs
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: BoneSaw on July 02, 2013, 08:36:28 pm
A rumble beneath the earth gives way to a blast of light reaching forth across the sky and into the clouds above.

Magic? In Calradia? What sorcery is this?

This is no magic my friends, the Ghost Army of KUTT has risen again, and this time, it aids its former rivals...The Ravens.

Do what you gotta do. We are only burning up tickets and gear for xp and our withdrawl from strat. I could care less what damage we do.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Mordred1622 on July 02, 2013, 08:37:18 pm
Bonesaw you might have actually made some money selling off your fiefs if you had kept your mouth shut.

Now you won't get anything and will have to spend more time farming DTV instead.
I think you missed the point of all this "suicide charge" and what not. LOL.

Anyways, I love the drama this community puts out... it is all that it is good for. Will look forward to the death and xp as always.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: GOBBLINKINGREATLEADER on July 02, 2013, 08:38:07 pm
Oh, this community is very rich if you aren't a humorless HoC-esque nerd.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: BoneSaw on July 02, 2013, 08:38:19 pm
Bonesaw, after reading your forum posts I believe you would be the perfect diplomat for the glorious United States of America. Attached below is a link to our website where you can begin filling out a quiz to test your competency (it is just a formality, don't worry!).

http://careers.state.gov/officer

Best of luck,
Phantasmal_Damsel_Astralis
Head of Foreign Affairs
Haha perfect! Thanks man! I will look into it!
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Matey on July 02, 2013, 08:41:26 pm
Bonesaw, after reading your forum posts I believe you would be the perfect diplomat for the glorious United States of America. Attached below is a link to our website where you can begin filling out a quiz to test your competency (it is just a formality, don't worry!).

http://careers.state.gov/officer

Best of luck,
Phantasmal_Damsel_Astralis
Head of Foreign Affairs


Certainly not the job for me! I tried the quiz but I answered NO on the first three questions and figured I should stop. "Would you like to protect america's interests overseas?" No.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Keshian on July 02, 2013, 08:43:06 pm

Certainly not the job for me! I tried the quiz but I answered NO on the first three questions and figured I should stop. "Would you like to protect america's interests overseas?" No.

Fucking canadians.

Also, Bonesaw i think you should add frisians to the mix - daruvian seems to be asking for it.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: BoneSaw on July 02, 2013, 08:44:36 pm

Certainly not the job for me! I tried the quiz but I answered NO on the first three questions and figured I should stop. "Would you like to protect america's interests overseas?" No.
Haha Matey! You'd be a good tsa security screener!
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: BoneSaw on July 02, 2013, 08:45:07 pm
Fucking canadians.

Also, Bonesaw i think you should add frisians to the mix - daruvian seems to be asking for it.
Done and Done! Stand by for the post!
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Kirbyy on July 02, 2013, 08:45:21 pm
I think you missed the point of all this "suicide charge" and what not. LOL.

Anyways, I love the drama this community puts out... it is all that it is good for. Will look forward to the death and xp as always.

You must be retarded, HoC is one of the leading Drama Trains of this community you stupid fuck.  Every single member that had an impact on HoC that leaves is immediately crucified by  the brainless "Grunt's" of your faction.  I'm glad to see the end of this shit storm, you're all so sad.  Seriously you are, I'm so happy that this community gets to see how shitty you guys are.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Mordred1622 on July 02, 2013, 08:51:34 pm
You must be retarded, HoC is one of the leading Drama Trains of this community you stupid fuck.  Every single member that had an impact on HoC that leaves is immediately crucified by  the brainless "Grunt's" of your faction.  I'm glad to see the end of this shit storm, you're all so sad.  Seriously you are, I'm so happy that this community gets to see how shitty you guys are.
Kirby, do you know how you sound right now?
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Kirbyy on July 02, 2013, 08:57:54 pm
I'd just like to say that Kesh is Ghay, and Soturin is ghay, and both of them are ghay, and and and and How many fucking lords does HoC have anyway????? lol
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Matey on July 02, 2013, 08:59:10 pm
I'd just like to say that Kesh is Ghay, and Soturin is ghay, and both of them are ghay, and and and and How many fucking lords does HoC have anyway????? lol

Kesh is an HoC lord? Grats on the promotion Kesh! Finally, a landed noble title for you!
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Kirbyy on July 02, 2013, 09:00:56 pm
Kesh is an HoC lord? Grats on the promotion Kesh! Finally, a landed noble title for you!

I never said that.....  you're ghay too! YOUR ALL GHAY OMG -1 EVERYONE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: ildist on July 02, 2013, 09:03:38 pm
Hi my name is HOC and I like to make 20 different threads about shit that no one really cares about and could probably be put into one thread
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Artyem on July 02, 2013, 09:03:49 pm
Well, I am disappointed with this turn of events, to say the least.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: iDazedi on July 02, 2013, 09:04:51 pm
You must be retarded, HoC is one of the leading Drama Trains of this community you stupid fuck.  Every single member that had an impact on HoC that leaves is immediately crucified by  the brainless "Grunt's" of your faction.  I'm glad to see the end of this shit storm, you're all so sad.  Seriously you are, I'm so happy that this community gets to see how shitty you guys are.
Yo you forgot your big red angsty "im a special snowflake" text.
You seem to bring up the fact that we "crucify" members that leave, not that it matters yet you bring it up in literally every forum thread thats HoC related ; We only "crucify" mentally deficient thirteen year olds (Or is it fourteen now? Not like it matters.) Who leave the clan and instantly go start a supa kool crusader klan (TM) !111! that dies out in a month. Also your leaving "letter" was hilarious.

\

*Farming new players into his SUPER UBER COOL FACTION THAT HE TOTES LEADS WITH HIS SKILLS  LOLOLOL!!11!!1!!!1!1!  In DTV, I'm serious, the only reason he goes into DTV, is to farm new players into joining his faction with shitty players.
Also DTV sucks donkey dick.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Kirbyy on July 02, 2013, 09:11:20 pm
Yo you forgot your big red angsty "im a special snowflake" text.
You seem to bring up the fact that we "crucify" members that leave, not that it matters yet you bring it up in literally every forum thread thats HoC related ; We only "crucify" mentally deficient thirteen year olds (Or is it fourteen now? Not like it matters.) Who leave the clan and instantly go start a supa kool crusader klan (TM) !111! that dies out in a month. Also your leaving "letter" was hilarious.
 Also DTV sucks donkey dick.

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Remember Lucane?? You're like wut..... 2nd in command?? Oh and my age OH GAWD LES CALL KIRBY 14 YEARS ORRRD DAT WILL HRT HIS FEEWINGS  Some sections were cut out of the conversation to provide me some integrity.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Artyem on July 02, 2013, 09:15:16 pm
This thread gave me cancer.  I beg both sides to stop and give me all of their silver for my expensive chemo sessions.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Kirbyy on July 02, 2013, 09:17:58 pm
Jesus Kesh is -1'ning, guess I gotta go find that rage video, Kesh gonna be a star again!!
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Keshian on July 02, 2013, 09:24:08 pm
Jesus Kesh is -1'ning, guess I gotta go find that rage video, Kesh gonna be a star again!!

Who is this little kid?  I just imagine the fat kid from the old willy wonka every time I see him type.  You and saxton should form a new clan LKDFIA
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Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Kirbyy on July 02, 2013, 09:35:19 pm
lol... gf I'm super fat brah, I'm also like 4'4, and ugle so come at meh
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Zanze on July 02, 2013, 09:37:59 pm
Looks like the drunk children are at it again. Time for some boring infanticide.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Lemon on July 02, 2013, 10:06:35 pm
I honestly get the feeling that half the people here are dyslexic.

Cough.. HoC.. Cough
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Lethwin Far Seeker on July 02, 2013, 10:10:27 pm
A dude screws around with this strat thing for a year.  Alongside VE, kicks everyone's butt.  Alliances, betrayals, wars, all part of the fun.  It eventually gets old for him though just like any other game.  So he ditches it and moves onto other things.  And all of you suckers bust your shriveled balls over it.  Get a life instead of harping on some guy that played a game and despite being wasted half the time and possessing no diplomatic skill played it as well if not better than the lot of you.  Chill out people.

P.S. See a doctor about those busted shriveled balls, they look nasty.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Jack1 on July 02, 2013, 10:14:50 pm
Who is this little kid?  I just imagine the fat kid from the old willy wonka every time I see him type. You and sexton should form a new clan LKDFIA
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I try very hard to be classified with or above these people and you just treat me like dirt. You have no clue how bad I feel you jackass.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Mordred1622 on July 02, 2013, 10:44:02 pm
A dude screws around with this strat thing for a year.  Alongside VE, kicks everyone's butt.  Alliances, betrayals, wars, all part of the fun.  It eventually gets old for him though just like any other game.  So he ditches it and moves onto other things.  And all of you suckers bust your shriveled balls over it.  Get a life instead of harping on some guy that played a game and despite being wasted half the time and possessing no diplomatic skill played it as well if not better than the lot of you.  Chill out people.

P.S. See a doctor about those busted shriveled balls, they look nasty.

Couldn't of said it any better... Bone has moved on to taking other peoples vehicles for a living.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Duster on July 02, 2013, 11:10:25 pm
Alongside VE, kicks everyone's butts

Haha haha ohohohohahaha
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Tanken on July 03, 2013, 01:11:08 am
A dude screws around with this strat thing for a year.  Alongside VE, kicks everyone's butt.  Alliances, betrayals, wars, all part of the fun.  It eventually gets old for him though just like any other game.  So he ditches it and moves onto other things.  And all of you suckers bust your shriveled balls over it.  Get a life instead of harping on some guy that played a game and despite being wasted half the time and possessing no diplomatic skill played it as well if not better than the lot of you.  Chill out people.

P.S. See a doctor about those busted shriveled balls, they look nasty.


Don't be offended, but I minused your post based on the fact that your Renown was 40, and your Infamy 39. OCD and whatnot compelled me to make them even.

Oh and welcome to Strategus, where we check the Diplomacy section every day to get our daily fix of nerd tears and shriveled ball busting!
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Lethwin Far Seeker on July 03, 2013, 05:50:02 am

Don't be offended, but I minused your post based on the fact that your Renown was 40, and your Infamy 39. OCD and whatnot compelled me to make them even.

Oh and welcome to Strategus, where we check the Diplomacy section every day to get our daily fix of nerd tears and shriveled ball busting!

I am dreadfully sorry to hear of your condition.  If ever your compulsive disorder becomes too much to bear merely send a raven and I will send my own physician to do what he can to aid you.  He has quite a hand with the leeches.

My "infamy" is a result of a bunch of 2h k\d heroes numbskullies disagreeing with a post I made some time ago basically saying to undo the great archer nerf and fix the lolstab.  Go figure.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Lt_Anders on July 03, 2013, 05:53:00 am
My "infamy" is a result of a bunch of 2h k\d heroes numbskullies disagreeing with a post I made some time ago basically saying to under the great archer nerf and fix the lolstab.  Go figure.

Come now, this game is nothing but 2h hero wars, except in strat.  Now you're off at 41:40 again. Might need to twerk that just a tad :twisted:
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: agile on July 03, 2013, 06:20:11 am
HoC sucks.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Armycook_of_KSantiago on July 03, 2013, 06:56:22 am
Can u give ur lands to the Chinese Faction(The Heavenly Kingdom/Blood) for the sake of aiding new playerz?
THX
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Lethwin Far Seeker on July 03, 2013, 07:14:18 am
Come now, this game is nothing but 2h hero wars, except in strat.  Now you're off at 41:40 again. Might need to twerk that just a tad :twisted:

Well I got the last laugh so to speak.  Archery lives again. :)
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: TheAppleSauceMan on July 03, 2013, 01:18:14 pm
Might need to twerk that just a tad :twisted:

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Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: bruttus on July 03, 2013, 05:41:27 pm
Well, i can say, the suicide army's from HoC will succede, i have noticed how good HoC is when they try to attack MB, so, i really believe that the HoC army's will succede in this mission against Raven
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Necrorave on July 03, 2013, 09:13:28 pm
Hounds Of Chile
more like
Hung Over Children.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Relit on July 03, 2013, 09:32:27 pm
All was silent in the mead hall of Narra, only the cracking of the hearth fire could be heard.

"The Mad King Bonesaw has declared war on us, his peaceful neighbors. Broken the ancient rights of passage granted us by our Velucan brothers and spurned our attempts at negotiation. Now he marches his armies on us.", the Chieftain softly began, as he stood before his accursed wooden throne.

"How high must we stack their skulls before they learn? They were once like us, but they became corrupted by weak and petty gods. They even clad themselves as the foreigners do! How far they have fallen! This Mad King has led them to ruin!"


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"I have consulted the shamans, they say Týr is with us, that the God of Law demands we take the lands of these wayward fools. That we must bring them back to the Gods of their ancestors. Two enormous ravens have been spotted circling to the east, this can only mean that Huginn and Muninn are watching and if they are, then we know Odin is with us too."

Pausing to collect his thoughts The Chieftain looked at all the men present. Every man of distinction whom has sworn loyalty to him. Tormund Forkbeard, back from his adventures in the faraway lands and Rotfeast, whos breath could be smelled from across the hall. The Battle-Brothers Surtr and Guiness stood close by listening quietly, as they always do. Uhtred the Traveller and Corpsedrop the Hammer watched from the corner. Hungry and Spin, both with steely eyes listened. Mangler the Strangler clenched his fists impatiently. Thorn the Wounder stood in the back, ready as always. The newest men stood in the middle, Shadow Axebitten, Euron Odin-Blessed, Harry Fur-Mane, and Carac Skald-Tongue. The Ancient One, Ingleram Isenzahn, stood farthest in the back nearest the doors. He still prefers the cold of the outdoors, even now after all these years. The best Vinr, Zan, and The Horse Mounter BlackWhite watched from beside Relit the Old, standing to the side.

"The Gods are with us and with all of you here, we have assembled our largest warband ever. There will be no holding back this time, no mercy for these rabid dogs. We will do this the old way, with iron and blood."

The Chieftain raised his hand up, revealing two letters to the assembled men.

"I have in my hand letters from those who we have shed blood with. The first, from the Dragoni of Valhallia, it reads..."

"To my brothers of the steppe, word has reached us of the madness of the Hounds. It saddens me to see people fall to such insanity. They have threatened your lands and betrayed the ancient ways of their ancestors, because of this and our alliance, we, The Dragoni of Valhallia march to your aid with all haste. Warmest Regards, Artyem of Dracul"

"And the second letter, from The Frisian Freedom, it reads..."

"HoC is gay. Hugs and kisses, Daruvian of Frisia." There also seems to be rough sketch of a stick figure shaking his ass, drawn next to Daruvian's name. Sandersson's mark, it has to be.

Not a single man even breathed, even the fire's crackling was dulled in that moment and when the Chieftain spoke it was as if Thor unleashed his mightiest thunderbolt.

"With these letters, it is confirmed. Our old brothers of Fimbulvetr march with us! Divided we are, but brothers we remain!"

They say the cheering and cries of "Fimbulvetr!" could be heard as far away as the mountains to the west, where the giants live.


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Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Sandersson Jankins on July 03, 2013, 09:38:18 pm
(click to show/hide)

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Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Artyem on July 03, 2013, 09:46:58 pm
If ye choose to live like a hound, and act like a hound, then expect to be put down like a dog.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Carac on July 03, 2013, 09:50:06 pm
Quote
and Carac Skald-Tongue

heh
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: SP1N on July 03, 2013, 10:37:28 pm
Nice RP Relit. :D

Looking forward to the free wins and XP.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: StonedSteel on July 03, 2013, 11:36:56 pm
YES!!!!!! more wars plz!
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: LordLargos on July 04, 2013, 10:46:25 pm
I never said that.....  you're ghay too! YOUR ALL GHAY OMG -1 EVERYONE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
This RP is better than Relit's, Kirby plays himself quite accurately. He's like a young Smoothrich and seems to be entering the Carac stage.

On a more serious not why do we have to attack Raven it would be more fun to make Kirby rage quit again after beating him up in strat then again we probably could just send a trade army.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Sandersson Jankins on July 04, 2013, 11:44:59 pm
This RP is better than Relit's, Kirby plays himself quite accurately. He's like a young Smoothrich and seems to be entering the Carac stage.

On a more serious not why do we have to attack Raven it would be more fun to make Kirby rage quit again after beating him up in strat then again we probably could just send a trade army.

I'm relatively certain that we did that after we attacked the dude's two traders and 1k shiny army, sending them all on a European vacation. I think that was all they had.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Artyem on July 04, 2013, 11:50:51 pm
I'm relatively certain that we did that after we attacked the dude's two traders and 1k shiny army, sending them all on a European vacation. I think that was all they had.

Yes sir, KaleLord declared war on us for them when we questioned his motives and accused him of being a bandit, it wasn't too much later when the justice seeking Fimbulvetr enforcers gave them a taste of the LAW!

I AM THE LAW!
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Ingleram on July 05, 2013, 09:48:58 am
The Ancient One, Ingleram Isenzahn, stood farthest in the back nearest the doors. He still prefers the cold of the outdoors, even now after all these years.

*In swift silence, Ingleram whirled around, kicking open the large oaken doors allowing a frostbitten gust of air to blast into the hall. Planting himself as he spun about, he launched an axe high into the air, tumbling end over end as it arched over the assembled gathering, plunging with a ringing crash into the blazing fire-pit at the center of the hall. Fierce embers and fire shot upwards, reaching at the rafters and scattering about the hall in veil of ashy smoke as the cold wind bellowed forth. All eyes turned to the scar laden warrior, his eyes wide with a glint of madness and his sword raised high.*

In our swords, there in rest the chilled breath of death. *He murmured*

In our spears reach, there in rest the fiery fangs of rage.  *He snorted*

In our axes might, there in lay the embers of pain. *He gruffly spout*

In our shields, hued with runes, there resides our menacing guise *He smirked*

War, is it... *he paused, gazing at the swirling smoke billowing up through the hall*

Then by Odin's call, let it be victory or our passage into Valhalla!

*With no further word, Ingleram strode over to a keg of mead and plunged his drinking horn to the bottom. Drank it dry in one breath and threw it at across the hall towards Hungry. with a haughty laugh*



 
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Relit on July 05, 2013, 11:03:46 pm
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From the walls of Halmar, all they could see was smoke and fire. They knew tonight would begin the struggle against these merciless northmen, who are led by harsh men and even crueler gods. And in that moment, when the drums began, they knew fear.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Artyem on July 05, 2013, 11:30:24 pm
There was a peaceful presence about the village of New Ehlerdah; the villagers happily carrying out their usually redundant menial tasks; the large garrison standing idly by, feasting and happily getting drunk and fat whilst basting in their fortune.  Quite fortunate they were, being in one of the only settlements in Bonesaw the Cruel's slowly dwindling Empire to not be under siege.  Vikings, Ravens of Valhalla, were pillaging the west.  Barbarians, the Frisians, seemed to ignore their presence and instead assaulted their neighboring village of Yalibe.  Indeed they were quite lucky that they were not the villagers of Mazigh, or Amashke, for they were claimed by the Chevaliers and Occitan.  Bonesaw's actions seemed to infuriate everyone, but none brought war unto them.

Unbeknownst to the villagers and soldiers in New Ehlerdah, armies were indeed marching to lay siege to their home.

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"Cursed, shall ye be, for yer squandering of our time has once again vanquished our need for presence, ye bundle of sticks." said Deltah to Larry, who once again was taking preference towards his books and studies over team oriented practices.  "Meh." replied Larry in his usual tone, one brought on from a lack of sleep and over use of caffeinated products.  This, however, was not an uncommon rebuttal from a faggot of such proportion.

Suddenly the door was thrown open, and in walked Artyem the law, next to enter was Relit the Old.  "Hail, comrades, quell your petty arguments and give heed to what the Old Man has to say."

Relit loudly dragged his fingers around in his long, gray beard.  The sound not unlike that of an eagle's anus being shook and scraped wildly across its own nest.  The old man loudly cleared his throat with a cough that rattled his insides before speaking, "Good day, lads, I bring word from the halls of Narra that Bonesaw the Cruel has finally broken the walls of insanity, reaching the final destination on his long drunken trek that is 'bat shit insane'.  He has declared a state of emergency in his home, is selling all of his fiefs and has broken our ancient agreements with the Empire.  This is a declaration of war, and your men are requested to aid us in this conflict."

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Relit's latest portrait.

"Bonesaw?  More like BAD SAW haHAhahHAHAHA" said Necrorave the small phallus warrior.

"Shut the fuck up, Necro" snapped Artyem.

"Gentlemen, I do say this writing in the book of Imgur is quite humorous, allow me to recite it to you..." droned on Larry, the Magical Cheetah.

"Sometimes when I take a shit it smells like Taco Bell" stated Deltah.

Suddenly Applesauce wattled into the room, attached to his feet was Celinthe the Rich.  "Swag overload." were his only words before once again departing.

Urbanday sat in the corner listening to everyone, not doing shit as usual.

Happyphantom continued to ignore our bullshit.

Vesarius looked over from his bar, one eyebrow raised in intrigue, "Well, Hoc battle prep can be summed up simply as, bleaching eachothers assholes so they look their best for getting their shit pounded. Its kinda like how the spartans prepared for battle, but in this case its so they think they can look good for their frapsed compilation of battle losses that they will throw on youtube set to the tune of nickelback, with a short opening of buck cherries(sp?) crazy bitch."

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"Well then, I guess we're going to war with HoC." said Artyem, nodding in awkward agreement with the rest of his clan.

The Dragoni of Valahia quickly mobilized, armies set due south.  First target: New Ehlerdah.

Direct quote from Vesarius, his views and opinions somewhat represent Dracul's.


(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Stormcrow on July 06, 2013, 03:50:37 pm
Stormcrow the my old friendcher walks in and realizes he shouldn't have slept in

Is Hoc recruiting?
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Lord_Bernie_of_Voodoo on July 06, 2013, 06:31:32 pm
Someone could probably put together a 200 page+ novel about this hilarious war by now.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Smoothrich on July 06, 2013, 06:39:25 pm
Someone could probably put together a 200 page+ novel about this hilarious war by now.

Here I'll start it.

"There once was a clan called Hoc
everyone knew they sucked cock
losing a bunch of wars
this thread has no lols
one good player hoc has not
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: MrPink44 on July 06, 2013, 07:26:02 pm
It appears that Smoothrich's katana style posting is getting a bit dull, methinks.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Lord_Bernie_of_Voodoo on July 06, 2013, 08:19:11 pm
Here I'll start it.

"There once was a clan called Hoc
everyone knew they sucked cock
losing a bunch of wars
this thread has no lols
one good player hoc has not
You are the epic troll and the epic 2-Hander.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Deltah on July 06, 2013, 09:13:15 pm
All was well in Ehlerdah. The town was thriving, despite the rather large army of Chulanians garrisoned there.
Word had come from towns in not so distant lands that the kingdom was under siege, and that they were next. However, the sea of green shields had assured them of their safety. Blissful in their ignorance, the soldiers and the citizens feasted and drank, unaware of what loomed just over the horizon.


It was dawn, and the Dragoni Encampment was busy at work readying themselves for slaughter. A young captain was volunteered by his colleagues to seek out the leader of the encampment, and ask him for the day's battle plans.
He eventually arrived at a peculiar tent that seemed to be made out of some thick and scaly hide. A deep lingering smell akin to Taco Bell radiated from its pores. Afraid to touch the thing, the young captain stood at the entrance and beckoned for the commander to  surface. A rustling could be heard, and a few moments passed. Then the captain heard a loud bellowing coming from the insides. "ASSSSSSSSSSSSSS" It was then that the tents front cover peeled open, and emerged a man seen before only in legend. There he stood, scantily clad, wearing nothing more than crude underpants forged from the scrotum of a swamp drake, and a falcon perched upon his shoulder. The young captain couldn't help but admire his fine physique, and ponder at his numerous scars.
It was then, that what appeared be a congo-line of naked women, stumbled out of his tent. Some of them were from his personal guard, and others seemed to be maidens from the village that they were set to besiege later that night. They dispersed into the camp, some were bashful, and others were giddy. But all were satisfied.
The captain stood there, bewildered.
"So, do you have need of me, or are you going to sit here and stare at my junk all day?" said Deltah.
"auh uh auauieuh" responded the captain, still in shock.
"You must be here for the camps orders then, I suppose." said Deltah.
The captain nodded.
"Well, the first order of the day is to ensure that every man and women in this encampment eats a healthy and balanced breakfast."
" After that, I suppose we ought to make ready for war, or something like that, right?" echoed Deltah.
"Yes Sir" said the captain, as he began to stumble away.
 "Oh, and captain........"
"Yes milord?" he replied
"Bring me that ASS." Deltah bellowed, as he pointed to a certain familiar runaway donkey pacing around the outskirts of Ehlerdah.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Larry on July 06, 2013, 10:20:54 pm
Larry the mystical spotted feline observed the spectacle that emerged before him, peering over a book, bound in pale leather, with a single, dyed green, lower case "i" stitched into the cover. He scratched thoughtfully at the bulbous length of spiked feline sausage bulging out his left pantleg, as it scratched back. "I wonder." he said, eyes gazing upon the doomed town "How many barely legal boys inhabit this sleepy place."
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: vesa on July 06, 2013, 10:55:33 pm
Meanwhile, in New Ulburban, Vesarius, single handedly mans the bar.  All the troops are off at war but he must remain ever vigilant in case some patrons come in. Dolla dolla bill, yall.

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Edit: I too received a warning i was simply roleplaying my absence from the battle. I think as an integral part of any warparty being the morale officer, i should explain my absence.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Necrorave on July 07, 2013, 04:05:38 am
Necrorave sat there in his seat, his small floppy penis hanging in all of its minuscule glory, thinking about life.
He grumbled a slur of racially unacceptable words before speaking aloud; "Cereal gives me gas."


That's all I got
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: TheAppleSauceMan on July 07, 2013, 04:15:41 am
swag

EDIT: Apparently this got me a warning. This post is obviously continuing the role-play initiated by Artyem. I demand someone reverse this injustice and do right by me.
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Lt_Anders on July 07, 2013, 06:04:51 am
swag

EDIT: Apparently this got me a warning. This post is obviously continuing the role-play initiated by Artyem. I demand someone reverse this injustice and do right by me.

No single word posts allowed. Gay RP encouraged. :wink:
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Larry on July 07, 2013, 08:00:30 am
Larry rested his bloodied glaive over one, armored shoulder, flipping his faceplate up to look at the large pile of disembodied limbs scattered in a wide circle around him, before looking over at his comrades, similarly surrounded by bloody piles of chopped limbs and bonked heads "My my!" he'd call out, grinning widely "I almost feel bad for that!"
Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Artyem on July 07, 2013, 08:08:44 am
Bodies and blood stained the once green grass of New Ehlerdah.  Buildings and houses that once held a history of merriment and joy now remain as piles of ash and wood stacked upon the burnt ground.  Souls are scattered and strewn across the war torn village, their ghosts lingering and essence fading.

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Unknowing and untrained, the fat and lazy local garrison was overthrown and murdered relentlessly by the Dragoni.  Survivors were taken and given the final ultimatum, either a slow and brutal death or a life as a slave soldier within the ASS PRINCE's army.  Deltah, a cruel and merciless leader ordered his captains to have their men set fire to the villager's crops and work shops.

On approach, the first element seen of New Ehlerdah is the harrowing sight of several hundred corpses impaled on large wooden stakes.  A few survivors are scattered among the tortured, and their moans of pain and agony are heard from what seems like miles away.  The damage done will forever leave scars on the memories of the survivors and those who witness the horror.

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This is only the beginning, these cowards will meet their ends soon.

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Title: Re: War! The last HoC offensive will be reserved for Raven!
Post by: Tojo on July 08, 2013, 03:54:53 am
The rising plume of smoke could be seen all the way from new Ayikke. Tojo knew the village had been sacked before the messenger crow even arrived. He bowed his head praying that the Hounds took death over anal slavery.