Strategus => Diplomacy => Topic started by: dirtfan25 on June 30, 2013, 11:46:46 pm
Title: Twerking at Nova Tismirr
Post by: dirtfan25 on June 30, 2013, 11:46:46 pm
Dirtfan's Pimpin' Twerkers can be seen running out of the snowy forest towards Tismirr. The number of Twerkers is in great proportion! Nearly a thousand twerkers run whilst charging towards the village. The men and women can be seen in shiny armor and weapons. Their banner flies high and soars in the air. "It is time we Twerkers find a new home! A new Hope! And a new pub to Twerk in!" The Twerking Crew has been rallied and shall start the battle of Twerks
Dirtfan's Pimpin Twerking Crew which is solely independent on strat and has sought out a home in Nova Tismirr.
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Twerk It!
Title: Re: Twerking at Nova Tismirr
Post by: Artyem on June 30, 2013, 11:51:46 pm
While I was returning home from the colder, northern reaches of the Tundra, I passed by a strange party of men. All of which were suited in a vibrant pink color. Strong in numbers, they were, approximately 1000 men strong. I was unsure of their destination, and I found their attire and body actions quite... unsettling. I avoided them, assuming they were carrying some form of disease that I had no particular interest in obtaining.
What an odd bunch.
Anyhow, good luck Dirtfan, it'd be nice to see some more faces up here in the Tundra.
Title: Re: Twerking at Nova Tismirr
Post by: Lemon on July 01, 2013, 12:07:50 am
Strange reports from the Tundra have been coming in of a large group of people moving in strange ways. It would appear they are bending the knees slightly, arching their backs, and repeatingly bouncing their butts up and down in some erotic way. Who knows what doom will follow?
Ninjaedit: Cya soon neighbor :)
Title: Re: Twerking at Nova Tismirr
Post by: Phantasmal on July 01, 2013, 12:12:23 am
Back up now. Don't fuck with my village.
Title: Re: Twerking at Nova Tismirr
Post by: Phantasmal on July 01, 2013, 12:25:51 am
Without warning we have been beset by bandits trying to claim my lawful fief. Sign for the side of good. Good gear for all classes, let us send these suckers to EU!
Without warning we have been beset by bandits trying to claim my lawful fief. Sign for the side of good. Good gear for all classes, let us send these suckers to EU!
By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you stand, Men of the WestNorth!!!
Title: Re: Twerking at Nova Tismirr
Post by: Little Lord Lollipop on July 01, 2013, 02:45:58 am
YOU FUCKING WITH MY HOMEBOY, I'LL TEACH YOU TO DOUGIE MOTHERFUCKER
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Frumptys Dirty Dougie Crew declares on Dirtfans Pimpin Twerking Crew
Title: Re: Twerking at Nova Tismirr
Post by: Lemon on July 01, 2013, 04:05:39 am
Limon's Hoochie Coochie Crew is in town, watchin' dis shitz go downs.
Title: Re: Twerking at Nova Tismirr
Post by: Artyem on July 01, 2013, 04:10:00 am
This is the greatest thread I ever have laid eyes on, I do say.
Title: Re: Twerking at Nova Tismirr
Post by: Lemon on July 01, 2013, 04:13:45 am
Due to the hate coming from the Frisian Figdom, I have changed the video to something more of their taste.
Title: Re: Twerking at Nova Tismirr
Post by: Phantasmal on July 01, 2013, 05:43:59 am
A daring night reinforcement has given us the chance to even the sides of the battles. Peasants from the fields stole up to the village in the night, awaiting their plate armor and great mauls and hunkering down for the battle the next day while men-at-arms honed their axes and infantrymen their greatswords. Over all of this Phantasmal sits, honing edges on her bolts and oiling her trusty arbalest for battle.
Title: Re: Twerking at Nova Tismirr
Post by: dirtfan25 on July 01, 2013, 05:51:34 am
The Twerking crew have settled outside the village hyped up for battle. They prepare their shiny armor, sharpen their weapons, test their bows and crossbows. And withdraw the finest weapon of their arsenal: The mighty rocks. Whilst some of the men gear, the rest of the Crew Twerks in the tents outside the village. They will twerk the night away into mid day tommorow. Then rest shorty in a nap. Then will prepare an attack. As they Twerk, reinforcements appear to enter the village. Never demoralized, they continue twerking.
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(Should be a great battle with some good xp)
Title: Re: Twerking at Nova Tismirr
Post by: Little Lord Lollipop on July 01, 2013, 05:53:56 am
Frumpty sits alone at the edge of his encampment as night falls. He glances to his right and sees his trusty bow sitting next to a jar of oil. He casually dips his right hand into the oil while his left moves to his belt buckle. As he leans back Frumpty thinks to himself that tonight will be a good night...a good night indeed.
Title: Re: Twerking at Nova Tismirr
Post by: dirtfan25 on July 01, 2013, 05:56:36 am
YOU FUCKING WITH MY HOMEBOY, I'LL TEACH YOU TO DOUGIE MOTHERFUCKER
(click to show/hide)
Frumptys Dirty Dougie Crew declares on Dirtfans Pimpin Twerking Crew
And to this blashphemy labeled: Dougie ,I see shamefully. We shall fight twice as hard not to obtain this sickness of movement. Even though.... The song sung with it is catchy as hell.
We shall send them to the Twerking Tree!
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All this talk of Oil makes me want to do something.
Title: Re: Twerking at Nova Tismirr
Post by: Gristle on July 01, 2013, 06:30:32 am
Phantasmal's fief? You've fucked up now. Walk into a crossbowman's home, and you gon' get shot down.
Title: Re: Twerking at Nova Tismirr
Post by: Tojo on July 01, 2013, 07:26:50 am
Tojo was working quietly in the kitchen of New Ayyikes Barracks when he heard strange music approaching the village. As he moved closer he could hear a repetitive drum beam with alternating tempo, which he would describe as "bounce" music. Walking toward the village entrance he could see 100 men in shining armor on top of a nearby hill, but something was not right. These soldiers appeared to be shaking their plump asses syncing the movement of flesh with the beat in a strangely erotic manner. From where he was standing Tojo could barely read their banner, "Twerk Crew, hmm I shall send a messenger to investigate this lot could be trouble"...
A message runner exited Ayyike with haste and made it to the hilltop quickly. The music was pounding in his ears as he had to yell to ask who was in charge. Most of the Twerk Crew payed no attention but continued to gyrate and wobble their buttocks to the beat of the music. The messenger looked around and saw someone who looked like they were in charge. He at least thought the man was in charge by the number of other men that were grinding their buns against his body. "I need to speak with the man in charge" said the messenger boy as he approached the strange man. "I am Steelswine_55, go on.", said the man "His Lordship Tojo requests the nature of your visit to new Ayyike..."
Title: Re: Twerking at Nova Tismirr
Post by: Darkkarma on July 01, 2013, 08:20:32 am
Recently, me and mine ran across a group of refugees from Nova Tismirr looking to take refuge behind our city walls. We are in a time of war so we brought them aside and demanded they tell us what their business here was. Upon hearing of the atrocious style of living the poor girls were subjected to in their home we accepted them with open arms. What share with you now is their story.
Title: Re: Twerking at Nova Tismirr
Post by: KaMiKaZe_JoE on July 01, 2013, 04:27:10 pm
SON OF A FUCKING BITCH GOD DAMMIT
I typed up the most awesome RP post, written in dactylic hexameter, including epithets like "Dick-sucking" "thrice-loomed".
FUCKING GONE
Fuck you, touch pad. You're as sensitive as my dog after his daily kicking. You sperg out at the slightest fucking touch. I deleted my shit because of you. If you were a person I'd murder and eat you, then shit you out and murder you again.
Here's what I remember: A talking horse told Joe about Twerkers. Joe said something stupid, then did something stupid, then made fun of some aspect of cRPG. Good luck with your migration, Twerkers.
Title: Re: Twerking at Nova Tismirr
Post by: CrazyCracka420 on July 01, 2013, 04:52:40 pm
I'm getting home a few minutes before the battle starts, and trying to get in a quick smoke (performance enhancing drugs) before the battle starts. Would love to help you defend your village if you'll have me :D
I'm quite disappointed Joe didn't get his RP post in :(
Title: Re: Twerking at Nova Tismirr
Post by: Kaelaen on July 01, 2013, 04:55:32 pm
I know, I saw Kamikaze Joe as the latest poster in diplomacy and got all super excited and then... tragedy.
Title: Re: Twerking at Nova Tismirr
Post by: dirtfan25 on July 02, 2013, 12:56:52 am
Sadly, the men and women(That one in TS that spoke with weird accent) where all crushed. Dirtfan, by him self ran from the sorrow sight carrying his broken gear. The Crew was too busy Twerking and listening to music in TS and were unable to seize victory. Dirtfan leaves the village to his back which he knows the occupants are looting the gear off his dead Crew's back. Sadden and with Waffle's American song stuck in his head, he traveled off doing the only thing he could... Twerk.
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Fun Xp and battle with amazing TeamSpeak songs: Thanks to those who came on both sides
Title: Re: Twerking at Nova Tismirr
Post by: Havelle on July 02, 2013, 01:19:16 am
Get dunked on
Title: Re: Twerking at Nova Tismirr
Post by: Lemon on July 02, 2013, 06:08:33 am
Yeah twirking nerds
Title: Re: Twerking at Nova Tismirr
Post by: partyboy on July 02, 2013, 06:56:04 am
aw I forgot about this b/c i was hung over and watching Pom Poko