cRPG

Off Topic => General Off Topic => Topic started by: Umbra on March 08, 2013, 02:03:05 pm

Title: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Umbra on March 08, 2013, 02:03:05 pm
Three Latvian fathers are brag about sons.
“My son is soldier. He have rape as many women as want,” say first Latvian.
“Zo?” second say, “My son is farmer. He have all potato he want!”
Third Latvian wait long time, then say, “My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over.”
Men agree third son have best life. But all are feel sad.

What Potato say to other potato?
Joke silly, nobody have 2 potato.

Latvian try to cross river.
Has dog, potatoes, and dead son's body.
Can only take two across river at one time.
If he leave dog with potatoes or corpse, dog eat them. Is very sad.
Also is not good boat.

Why Latvian man wear hat?
For to hide bread from family!

Funny joke: Latvian is immigrate to Ireland. Have many potato. But no. Is cruel dream. Wake up and still being in Latvia. Actually is not funny. Only sad.

Two Latvian look at clouds. One see two potatoes. One see impossible dream.
Is same cloud.
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: rufio on March 08, 2013, 02:06:18 pm
i cracked a smile +1  :wink:
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Moncho on March 08, 2013, 02:08:20 pm
Dat english. Sublime
Good jokes, could be applied to many other countries as well.
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Vibe on March 08, 2013, 02:11:32 pm
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Latvian.
Latvian who?
Please open door. Is cold.

Latvian girl is say, "I want go America one day." Father say, "I send you America." Daughter is thank father. Make tears of happy. Father use for salty potato. Father think moment, say, "Daughter, I no send you America." Potato is more salt.

Q: How much potato to kill Latvian?
A: None.


Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: [ptx] on March 08, 2013, 02:29:09 pm
D:

Where do these jokes come from anyway?
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Umbra on March 08, 2013, 02:33:44 pm
All credit goes to reddit
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Latvian on March 08, 2013, 02:37:47 pm
hihihi some made me laugh
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Umbra on March 08, 2013, 02:41:03 pm
One day, hear knock on door.
Man ask "Who is?"
"Is potato man, I come around to give free potato"
Man is very excite and opens door.
Is not potato man, is secret police.

Man is hungry. He steal bread to feed family. Get home, find all family have gone Siberia! “More bread for me,” man think. But bread have worm.

Two Latvian look at clouds. Whole sky is clouds. Weather is bad. Latvian are cold.

Latvian is rub lamp find genie. Genie say, “What is three wishes?” Latvian say, “I wish potato!” Then, POOF! Potato! Latvian so happy! “Oh! Is potato! Is potato!” say Latvian. Genie ask, “What is next wish?” Latvian is say, “I wish you go away so can enjoy potato!” POOF! Too bad. Also, was only lamp.
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: wayyyyyne on March 08, 2013, 02:45:45 pm
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Latvian
Latvian who?
Please open door. Dark also cold.


edit: fuck you vibe you beat me to it
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Boerenlater on March 08, 2013, 02:54:17 pm
Latvian man walks into store.
Potatoz buyes man. Potato walks out of of store.
End of store(y).
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Boerenlater on March 08, 2013, 02:55:32 pm
Why does Latvian man wants Stalin back??
With so many dead or in the Gulag more potato for himself!
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Boerenlater on March 08, 2013, 02:56:18 pm
Walks a horse into a Latvian bar.
Man says:"There you are my dear wife!"
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: wayyyyyne on March 08, 2013, 02:56:32 pm
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Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Boerenlater on March 08, 2013, 02:58:52 pm
Old Latvian proverb:
When no potato around
Latvian man is bound
To eat wife and firstborn
Because in Latvia there no corn
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Umbra on March 08, 2013, 03:28:25 pm
 Latvian wet dream  (http://media.tumblr.com/3f52e72cfccbd0b507661d61b63a9ac0/tumblr_inline_mhdepq5Bz01qz4rgp.gif)
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Latvian on March 08, 2013, 03:44:58 pm
Quote from: wayyyyyne on March 08, 2013, 02:56:32 pm
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lol where u found that
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Boerenlater on March 08, 2013, 03:47:53 pm
4chans int or pol
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Kafein on March 08, 2013, 03:50:31 pm
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Potato fetish
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Umbra on March 08, 2013, 08:18:15 pm
Quote from: Kafein on March 08, 2013, 03:50:31 pm

Potato fetish

is dream
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Penitent on March 08, 2013, 08:30:46 pm
Knock knock
--Who there?
Latvia?
--Latvia who?
You know, the country?
--I'm sorry, never heard of him*door slam*

Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: the real god emperor on March 08, 2013, 10:05:15 pm
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Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Vibe on March 09, 2013, 12:10:59 am
Quote from: Kafein on March 08, 2013, 03:50:31 pm
Potato fetish

when life give potato

... wait

life give no potato
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Siiem on March 09, 2013, 12:20:42 am
+1 for hilarity, but what is up with the potatoes?????
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: bagge on March 09, 2013, 12:26:22 am
Woman, potato, warm.

Choose two.
Get none.

Is dead dog in road. Is dead Latvian in road. What difference? Dog have fur keep warm. Also, freedom. And dog try eat poop for pleasure not just survive. So many thing!
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: no_rules_just_play on March 09, 2013, 12:36:20 am
wow this thread is awesome :D
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Kafein on March 09, 2013, 01:22:06 am
Why did chicken cross road?
I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers rape her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.


Why six is afraid seven? Because seven have many friend politburo.

http://www.potatopro.com/Lists/News/DispForm.aspx?ID=4862
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: no_rules_just_play on March 09, 2013, 04:25:16 am
Quote from: Kafein on March 09, 2013, 01:22:06 am
http://www.potatopro.com/Lists/News/DispForm.aspx?ID=4862
PotatoPro
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: bagge on March 09, 2013, 10:01:06 am
potato very very good !!

is dream ! !
 I love potato but

 a very difficult life, cold  and is dark
 
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Umbra on March 09, 2013, 10:26:52 am
Hi,

its signed,

Can i have potato?

Latvian.
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: bagge on March 09, 2013, 10:29:56 am
hahahaha ahh this thread is win
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Latvian on March 09, 2013, 10:38:42 am
I find this thread offensive and request superpermabanana to everyone who posted here.
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Kafein on March 09, 2013, 02:26:35 pm
Quote from: bagge on March 09, 2013, 10:01:06 am
potato very very good !!

is dream ! !
 I love potato but

 a very difficult life, cold  and is dark

Ho my, I think we found out the nationality of cRPG's most unknown meme author.
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Corwin on March 09, 2013, 02:34:47 pm
You all nazis! Ban them! Long live Latvia!
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Vibe on March 09, 2013, 03:23:14 pm
Quote from: Latvian_Knight on March 09, 2013, 10:38:42 am
I find this thread offensive and request potato for me

sorry no potato
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Umbra on March 09, 2013, 06:00:22 pm
His mothers potato, i tragedy
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: wayyyyyne on March 09, 2013, 06:39:18 pm
potato he
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Moncho on March 09, 2013, 06:49:21 pm
Hi,

It's signed,

I can only potato.
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Kafein on March 09, 2013, 07:31:04 pm
cute potato bundle
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Miwiw on March 10, 2013, 01:26:16 am
best thread this week!

This is actually the best:

(click to show/hide)

:D so cruel!
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: the real god emperor on March 10, 2013, 07:02:09 am
Potato Apocalypse
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Kafein on March 10, 2013, 12:23:37 pm
At seven I potato

wat
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Arathian on March 10, 2013, 01:21:12 pm
Quote from: Umbra on March 08, 2013, 02:33:44 pm
All credit goes to reddit

Lolwat, no, these jokes did NOT start from reddit. Jesus....

(click to show/hide)
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Vibe on March 10, 2013, 01:31:26 pm
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Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Molly on March 11, 2013, 01:32:36 pm
12 Benefits of Potato Juice! (http://omtimes.com/2012/10/12-benefits-of-potato-juice-a-very-healthy-drink/)
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Latvian Supermodel on pay day.
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Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: enigmatic_stranger on March 11, 2013, 01:36:21 pm
Quote from: benkei on March 11, 2013, 01:32:36 pm
Latvian Supermodel on pay day.
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Wow she is really hot.
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Torben on March 11, 2013, 02:04:53 pm
latvian man and latvian son surviving ship crash where many dead. on alone island,  they find patato.  father give son,  son choke and die.  father looks sad into sunset.
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Casimir on March 11, 2013, 04:37:12 pm
Ahh national stereotyping at its finest.

Also potato.

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Vibe on March 11, 2013, 06:32:43 pm
Quote from: benkei on March 11, 2013, 01:32:36 pm
Latvian Supermodel on pay day.
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Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: enigmatic_stranger on March 11, 2013, 07:11:39 pm
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Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Tibe on March 11, 2013, 07:23:47 pm
HOW DID I MISS THIS THREAD! :evil: Been making fun of PotoatoLatvia for years and now that there is a thread for it I miss it. Im so slow....
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: [ptx] on March 11, 2013, 08:39:40 pm
Quote from: TiberiusX on March 11, 2013, 07:23:47 pm
HOW DID I MISS THIS THREAD! :evil: Been making fun of PotoatoLatvia for years and now that there is a thread for it I miss it. Im so slow....
Three estonians begin fishing in the morning.
5:00 First one: "Nothing is catching..."
15:00 second one: "You're right, no fish at all..."
21:00 third one: "It is because you keep chatting all the time!"

Three hotheaded estonians sitting in a bar, drinking beer and chatting.
First one says: "Yeah, Christmas is great!"
Half an hour passes and the 2nd says: "Sure is, but sex is better!"
Another half hour passes and the 3rd joins in: "You're right, but Christmas is more often, though."

A party. Girl asks her guy: "Is this the slow waltz?" "No, this is estonian rap."

Why are Estonians the richest? Because they are too slow to spend their money in time.

Why is estonian karaoke without words? Because they can't read them in time.

Traffic sign for a round-about in Estonia. Below it a plaque reads: "No more than three times."
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Tibe on March 11, 2013, 08:55:29 pm
Oi! Thats derailing it! Make your own god damn thread.
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: FrugFrug on March 12, 2013, 07:18:49 am
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Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Vibe on March 12, 2013, 07:42:01 am
Who better to worship for Latvia than

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Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Kenda on March 14, 2013, 09:05:49 pm
Best thread ever.
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Ealoseum on March 20, 2013, 12:47:42 am
What is like kryptonite for the Latvian Superman?
...
POTATO
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Umbra on April 30, 2013, 01:54:57 am
Not mine, but i had to share:

LATVIAN RHAPSODY

Is this real life or

Malnourish fantasy

Caught in a landslide

But is no land in Latvia

Open your eyes

Look up at dark sky and see

I is in gulag

I no need sympathy

Politburo come

Politburo go

People die

Or gulag go

Anyway the wind blow

Make me only colder

No eat

No eat

Mama, just killed a man

I have end his struggle

Prolong mine by eat him

Mama life had just begun

But politburo come and take it all away

Mama... Oooooohhhh

Did mean not to make you cry

But salt make rock taste much better

Hungry on hungry on

As if nothing really matter

Too late politburo come

Burn house down to the ground

Rape wife and sister and my hound

Goodbye everybody

To gulag I go

Gotta leave all behind

And suffer more

Mama........ Ooohhhhhhh (anyway the wind blow)

I do wanna die

If it mean my struggle is over

I see little silhouetto of potato

Malnourish malnourish

Is just making you hallucinate

Breaking rock and eating

Very very hurting me

Politburo politburo politburo figaro

Magnificooooooo

I'm just a poor boy nobody feed me

He's just a poor boy who ate his family

End of his struggle using a gun!

Politburo politburo will you let me go?

Latvia no we will not end struggle! (End struggle!)

Latvia no we will not end struggle! (End struggle!)

Latvia we will not end struggle! (End struggle!)

Will not end struggle!

End struggleeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!

No no no no no no no!

Politburo politburo

Politburo end struggle!

Fellow comrades are gonna make a meal

Of me

Of me

Of MEEEEEEEEEE!

So you think you can stop me

And put me in gulag?

So you think you can burn me

And rape my sister?

Politburo!

Can't do this to me politburo!

Just gotta get out!

Gotta end struggle and get out of here!

Nothing really matter

Latvia can't see

Nothing really matter

To me

Anyway the wind blow......
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: rufio on May 02, 2013, 06:03:31 pm
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Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Bjord on May 02, 2013, 06:23:42 pm
Latvian farmer at market:

"How much this potato?"
"If you is ask you is no afford."
"Please, I is hungry and is cold and dark. At least tell price."
"One daughter."

Latvian happy, have many daughter. But when come home, wife already take all daughter to America and leave Latvian. Outside was cold and dark, and now inside Latvian too.

End.
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Kafein on May 02, 2013, 08:51:11 pm
Quote from: Bjord on May 02, 2013, 06:23:42 pm
Latvian farmer at market:

"How much this potato?"
"If you is ask you is no afford."
"Please, I is hungry. At least tell price."
"One daughter."

Latvian happy, have many daughter. But when come home, wife already take all daughter to America and leave Latvian.

End.

lacks cold and dark check
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Bjord on May 02, 2013, 10:47:32 pm
Fixed.
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: rufio on July 10, 2013, 01:19:12 pm
http://www.top10fastest.com/the-fastest-internet/ (http://www.top10fastest.com/the-fastest-internet/)

what is this madness
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: pingpong on July 10, 2013, 01:47:47 pm
WTF latvia you just silly, you drink potato energy drinks!!!1?? Potato keeps you going, lots of vitamin C i guess...

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Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: MountedRhader on July 11, 2013, 03:36:26 am
LOL






I love you balts, always such a morbidly generous sense of humor.
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: [ptx] on July 11, 2013, 07:23:36 am
Quote from: rufio on July 10, 2013, 01:19:12 pm
http://www.top10fastest.com/the-fastest-internet/ (http://www.top10fastest.com/the-fastest-internet/)

what is this madness
(click to show/hide)
You just jelly.
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: pingpong on July 11, 2013, 07:04:54 pm
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Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: CrazyCracka420 on July 11, 2013, 10:07:30 pm
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The city I grew up in was at one point one of the largest potato exporters in the USA:  http://www.bottineaupartnership.org/historical/farmtomarket.php
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Berserkadin on July 11, 2013, 10:14:23 pm
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Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: MountedRhader on July 12, 2013, 02:01:15 am
Quote from: pingpong on July 11, 2013, 07:04:54 pm
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That's sad because it's true for all of us even when some nations don't pull their own weight



Which is all the damn time.
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: rufio on July 12, 2013, 08:29:51 am
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latvian tip , best tip
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: rufio on July 14, 2013, 07:16:21 pm
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latvian cats also potato much
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Kafein on January 06, 2014, 05:16:28 pm
Necro because google is confused by potato

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Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Umbra on February 04, 2014, 10:50:48 am
Hi guys, i found a picture of a Latvian dog

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Austrian on February 04, 2014, 07:14:20 pm
Found a pic of an ass which Latvians must like
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Tibe on April 23, 2014, 08:31:00 am
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Austrian on April 23, 2014, 06:56:46 pm
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Joseph Porta on April 23, 2014, 07:38:46 pm
Yeah sure come have dinner at my home!

Get it
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Vibe on April 29, 2014, 03:08:17 pm
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what really happened

ˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇˇ

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Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Kafein on April 29, 2014, 03:12:06 pm
When I saw that on TV I thought "what a badass".
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Armpit_Sweat on April 29, 2014, 03:30:56 pm
Quote from: Kafein on April 29, 2014, 03:12:06 pm
When I saw that on TV I thought "what a badass".

2014
watching TV
lol

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Armpit : 1
Kafein : vehicle
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Kafein on April 29, 2014, 05:46:16 pm
Quote from: Armpit_Sweat on April 29, 2014, 03:30:56 pm
2014
watching TV
lol

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Armpit : 1
Kafein : vehicle

I meant youtube, youtube. TV is shorter and easier to type.
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: SirCymro_Crusader on April 29, 2014, 06:56:19 pm
Top 10 internets is slow.

I once had 99mb/s download and 99mb/s upload for 2 weeks!

Before they realised that there was some issue along the line and it fell back down to 15mb/s download :( life has not been the same since
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: [ptx] on April 29, 2014, 06:59:57 pm
Well, i'm quite comfortable on my super stable 250/250 connection :)
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Kafein on April 29, 2014, 07:01:51 pm
Quote from: [ptx] on April 29, 2014, 06:59:57 pm
Well, i'm quite comfortable on my super stable 250/250 connection :)

Dem hackers got a good reason to visit your potato.
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Vibe on April 29, 2014, 07:11:53 pm
Quote from: [ptx] on April 29, 2014, 06:59:57 pm
Well, i'm quite comfortable on my super stable 250/250 connection :)

potato fiber superior technology))
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Kafein on April 29, 2014, 07:14:47 pm
Quote from: Vibe on April 29, 2014, 07:11:53 pm
potato fiber superior technology))

funny because potato fiber is a thing
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Molly on April 29, 2014, 07:44:00 pm
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Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Torben on April 29, 2014, 08:08:53 pm
I love this thread for having opened my eyes to a whole new world : )
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Umbra on June 07, 2015, 10:34:02 pm
Terrified man, hungry man, and Latvian walk into bar. Is same man. Bar actually gulag.
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: ecorcheur_brokar on June 08, 2015, 12:11:46 pm
Man, I am so happy this thread appeared in my life  :o

Quote from: Siiem on March 09, 2013, 12:20:42 am
+1 for hilarity, but what is up with the potatoes?????

Nothing is up with potatoes. Only wife and daughters is up in plane for USA.  :cry:
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: the real god emperor on June 08, 2015, 12:18:18 pm
latvian man

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: [ptx] on June 08, 2015, 12:24:48 pm
Quote from: ecorcheur_brokar on June 08, 2015, 12:11:46 pm
Nothing is up with potatoes. Only wife and daughters is up in plane for USA.  :cry:
Is actually for gulag.
Title: Re: Lets share some Latvian jokes
Post by: Kafein on June 08, 2015, 05:52:05 pm
By the gods why do you bump this thread for my public shame again?