assington always pondered his purpose in calradia, but it wasnt until his hand of cards was looking really shitty that he heard the howling of the wind mysteriously turn to words, holy words that said:
"WoWoWOooWOoowoWOOoo aaaaaaassingtooooooon despite being baaaaanned for many daaaays you must go join the baaaaattle seeeerverrrrrr"though being both cynical and skeptical of supernatural occurrences, assington proceeded to NA1, despite knowing that he still had nearly 48 hours left until the chain of mortal serial key banning systems released him from its grip. upon entering the battle server, assington waited for the ruthless line to say "u r banned from this server idiot" to pop up and then kick him, but that never happened. assington was free. something had chosen him to be able to slip the tight grip of a ban (im not a ban evader james forgave me + great rp right).
for the next 6 years assington sought re connection with the divine entity that chose to bestow upon him the powers of righteousness, the ability to stand against the most potent forces of the
cRPG aDmiNiStrAtiOn woooWOWoowoWOoOowooo. at first assington believed his purpose in calradia was to incite civil disobedience and to murder all snakes and forms of authority that ruled this land, but now.... now he is not so sure.
Assington's Host is an army comprised of humble, non-megalomaniacal people who seek holy retribution, the revelations of pilgrimage, and to understand the mysteries of calradia and crpg as we know it. a holy crusade is to be enacted in the sarranid deserts of New Calradia, and several holy sights are to be seized by assingtons host for further religious understanding of himself, those around him,
and the reasons as to why he was bestowed such magical powers....Intended Holy Sites to be Occupied by Assington's Host:SEIZED
New Jameyyed CastleNew Jameyyed Castle was the former seat of power of an ancient order of cRPG anarchists known as the
GOBBLINS. its infinite catacombs, which are filled with holy relics and scriptures, is a key location to seize in order to understand the mysticism of the unknown divine entity. the treacherous heretic
pollux will be defeated, tried, and executed for infidelity
New Samarra CastleSamarra used to be the center of a network of pilgrim roads, with nearly every pilgrim road across new calradia leading directly to it. not a living soul knows what sacred, holy institutions were housed there,
nor why, but some of the oldest, wisest, and generally disgusting geriatric folk of samarra claim that the caverns under the ancient graveyards hold a pool of water so blue, and so sweet that it could have been milked from the breasts of aphrodite herself. it is said that once every 1000 years (6 months in crpg) someone is chosen to drink from this pool and be sent on a wild fucking trip i mean sent into a trance that will connect them more deeply with the gods and even be allowed to rest upon the breasts of aphrodite. New Samarra Castle must be seized, and the treacherous
archibot will be defeated, tried, and executed for infidelity.
New Ahmerradonce the capital of an ancient desert empire, an empire that was far more evolved and advanced than the shitlords that inhabit it today, new ahmerrad's lower levels are host to a magnificent gold and jeweled statue of an unknown person or deity. it is whispered among the ancients of ahmerrad (much like the geriatric fucks of samarra) that a chosen individual, one with enough faith and autism, will be granted a set of gold and jeweled armor. when worn this armor will enable to wearer to battle indefinitely, unhindered by mortality, hunger, thirst, sexual lust, or fatigue, or venereal diseases, and the helm is said to have some sick jbl headphones that allow the bearer to communicate with an ancient, divine entity. New Ahmerrad must be seized, and the treacherous
archibot will be defeated, tried, and executed for infidelity TWICE.
Nova Sharwa Castleonce the cradle of power for all civilization in new calradia, sharwa has become little more than a military stronghold for whatever gaylord holds it except assington if assington holds sharwa he ISNT a gaylord.
whomever sits upon the throne of sharwa, should they be true of heart and brimming with courage, will be given the omniscience to understand the will of the divine, and find the true path to paradise.
seeing as sharwa is held by the incompetent, and slightly dimwitted sparvico, who is said to suffer from leprosy for his many sins, assington sees this as the final journey on the holy pilgrimage. plus he will be able 2 test out his sick new armor and jbl beats and have his stomach FULL of HOT aphrodite titty milk. Nova Sharwa Castle must be seized, and the treacherous
sparvico will be defeated, tried, and executed for infidelity.
New Ismirala Villagebeing the ancestral home of the frisian insurrection, along with the era of great peace and prosperity following frisian victories, new ismirala is the final resting place of GOBBLINKINGGREATLEADER's human body, before CHOAS turned him into a monster. a sight of great darkness indeed; however, immense wisdom is kept within the scrolls of the ancient frisians, wisdom which must be obtained for a more pure, homosexual, and prosperously holy life. New Ismirala must be seized, and the treacherous
Johannes_VonThalion will be defeated, tried, and executed for infidelity.
the answers to these mysteries will be unraveled and shared with those who are true of heart once the mentioned locations are occupied. if u are a warrior of virtue and a scholar of mysticism then you are dutybound 2 fight by MY fucking side until i get some god damned castles so i can have a really long title when i enter battle server.
and a message to the owners of these holy sites: surrender now or get fucked