And so I began clicking and clicking on spoiler after spoiler, until my persistence came to a grinding halt. I realized the true meaning of what Switch was doing to me. Instead of having me look through carpal tunnel inducing pages for a meaningless online reward, what he was actually doing would have me dig a grave, each click representing another foot of a journey into nothingness.
And then I saw them standing there, on the other side of the grave. Lemon and Testi. Testi was just standing there smiling while Lemon began digging. Carved into his shovel was a hastily drawn message: "gib l00ms pl0x". Testi looked over at Lemon, whose hard on for gold was almost longer than the shaft of shovel, and took off his Woolen Cap. He pulled it over Lemon's head, and began beating him with his +3 stick. Lemon cried out, "noo testi pls" as Testi hurled him into the grave. Testi looked down at Lemon, the greedy fruit writhing in the dirt, and whispered "get rekt my old friendet".
He looked up at me, who was about to finish what Lemon started. He walked over to me, and gave me a stern nudge. "nuuuuu," his eyes seemed to say. "nuu testi, i won dew it," I said softly. He looked at me one final time. Then he vanished into the grave. Testi had smitten down a loombeggar, and shown me that the way to true cRPG mastery isn't through wealth gain, horse archery, or anything else. It's so simple, yet we leave it behind as soon as we begin. The way to play, is to play like him. Him. Testi. A peasant, yet so much more.
rip testi, i stillcri
