Perhaps I loved too much, or not enough. I exposed my soul, and you rebuked me. I reached out to touch you, but my hand found the cold emptiness of your abyss. I wept, words flowing from my minds eye like tears of ink to paper. I gave you truth. Raw emotion, unrestrained, and unrepentant. I have no further argument to give, no more forgiveness I can seek. You set the hoop and I jumped, you said higher and I touched the moon. I never wanted to hurt you, only to love you. It could have been so beautiful, but it was only a dream. An image I caught a glimpse of once, from the corner of my eye.
Did my words lack flavor? Did you spit them from your mind like something foul from your mouth? The silence is deafening, it could fill a room. What more is required? What other tasks do you ask of me? I will do them, gladly. This essay was the child of my mind. I loved it, and nurtured it to life. It suckled at my teet, and was born of my will. I watched it as it started to crawl, and was there the day it took its first step. I worked three jobs to put it through college, and on the day of its graduation you invite me to its funeral.
Was its life in vain? I will bury my child, but I will give birth to another just like him, and another, and another. They will be stronger sons, and will rise to reclaim their brothers glory.
You may already know this, but the unban essay requirements are changing every day. Already the issues we discussed in my last essay have been frittered into obscurity and irrelevance. Key points, and relevant topics that I once valued as being the core principles of Strategy for Unban Essaying, or SUE, are now cold and dead to me, like former lovers whose carcasses pile at my feet. The world is a harsh place. None of us will endure the passage of time, none of us will stay the great darkness that lingers over each of our souls, its saliva dropping in beads. Fear. Fear is the essence of the human soul. You and I know this as C-RPG players, but I look out upon those players whose happiness I truly affected and I wonder if they know that one day everything they love will fall and crumble and mingle with the smoldered ash of fires burnt in foreign lands. Can my unban essay baring my soul to you affect meaningful change in a world where death claws viciously at each of our doors? I need to know this! Can you guarantee the global cessation of entropy? I do not find it likely nor did I notice this issue addressed anywhere in the forums.
I will be perfectly honest with you, in the last three to five hours I have consumed about 65mg of powdered psilocybin. I do not think I am in a state of mind where I ought to be making decisions that will affect my future in C-RPG and I'm only barely able to recall the tenements of the SUE strategy. I want an awareness driven unban essay to maximize other players awareness. I really do, but right at this moment I simply cannot understand how best to do so. Although we may never play together again, you have opened my eyes to a side of the game I never truly considered before, and for this I will always consider you a friend. I hope you do not ever forget me, just as I will never forget the joy you have brought into my life. Thank you again for everything.
I love you
McDeath