Should I use a shield?
-> In my opinion, it depends on your armor category and AGI/STR balance. If you use heavy armor and/or a high STR build, you are not that good at dodging and making use of your weapon's range. So better get a shield as a compensation. When you prefer high AGI and/or light armor, I recommend not to use a shield. Shields slow down your movement speed, and you get a trade-off instead of a synergy in terms of feinting and blocking fast. You might be able to block multiple hits at the same time having a shield, but a shield requires good timing, and if you click the right mouse button to late, the block is not ready in time. I think it's easier to just block into the right direction but get the block up instantly than focussing entirely on timing, which makes the game pretty boring if you are impatient.
Should I use throwing weapons?
I would not recommend high-end stuff such as throwing lances at all unless you are a decidated, i.e. non-hybrid thrower. If you want to play hybrid, go for 5 PT and throwing daggers or something like this. Make sure your PT does not exceed the difficulty level of the throwing weapon you want to use by more than 4. The advantages of throwing are best observable in DTV for me cuz you can headshot incoming bots and kill the rest more easily. In other modes I did not really try it patiently cuz people dodged a lot, and I feel better-off with a crossbow if I want to do ranged.
But that's only my opinion, and you will probably not find a perfectly applicable, single answer to your question. You can only ask for experiences and decide yourself, in the end. I have fun playing the game in light armor, and for me, this works out pretty well with 5 PT, 150 throwing wpf and a 1hand weapon without a shield (100 1h wpf). The shield, as mentioned before, feels uncompatible for my playstyle.