How can you understand when all you see is in black and white Haha. I tried to make myself clear and you see contradictions in the way I speak and think.
If you look up at the heavens there are no contradictions or the way the waves in the ocean break on the shore there won't be a single 'aesthetic break' from that.
How could I possibly contradict myself?
A Buddha means one who has awakened, one who has awakened is one who opens his eyes,
so if you don't at least attempt to do that, how will you understand me, or else you'll go on understanding nothing other than life means to sleep eat drink and have sex, and everything you will do in this life your interests your job will simply be a guise in order for you to do more of that.
The difference between me and you is that you see yourself as symptom of this Universe, a collection of atoms floating somewhere in space that just so happened to have the right amount of water. I see myself as an extension of this Universe, and the big bang as a whole, if the proper distances between this planet and the sun and the star holding our sun and our galaxy's center's weren't in perfect harmony, how could we have any of this? If it makes you anxious or sad that we live in this cold uncaring universe you may reflect that upon other human beings.
This is the source of my beliefs, you may call me a Taoist, supporter of Lao Tzu's worldview or a person.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJCSJTSTkH8I'm not sure what yours is.