10 things I learned playing cRPG
Being somewhat new to the game I would like to share some hard earned knowledge to even newer players in the community. It is important to quickly understand what this game is about to not anger any of the demi-Gods that inhabit the realm of cRPG! Pay close attention and you might soon be as enlightened as one of them!
1. If you hear someone in your team whistling for a horse nearby, always kill any riderless horses around as fast as possible. If you see a team mate heading for a riderless horse and trying to mount it always jump in the air and overhead slash the horse, even if it means that you are team hitting your mate.
2. If you see a team mate being outnumbered on one side and a bunch of team mates outnumbering an enemy to the other side. Always barge in and team hit your friends in the back while they take down the overrun enemy. Your K:D is much more important than your team winning. Always swing against a heavily outnumbered enemy no matter what even if it means team wounding. Allowing people to safely dispose of him from his back while you defend yourself would be a threat to your divine K:D!
3. Similar to this, if you have a shield, never use it to cover a team mate being rushed by multiple enemies. Hold back and get a weak flanking 1H-swing in on one of the enemy group. Of course your score is more important than your team mate’s life.
4. If you have a buddy with a stabby long polearm behind you trying to help by stabbing enemies in front of on one side, make absolutely sure you sidestep and strafe in that direction to block him off and make him team hit you. Then report him! He is obviously trying to steal your glory and if you aren’t the one killing the enemy, who cares if your team wins, right?
5. If you are going to fight an approaching enemy and have nearby cavalry and ranged in clear terrain, make certain that you facehug your opponent so that your friends must either refrain from assisting or risk hitting you. Occasionally stepping away from your opponent to allow your friend to help you would be a sign of cowardice and thereby a very bad tactic. Make sure to report if you are teamwounded while using this superior strategy.
6. If an enemy in front of you is retreating under a rain of blows from enemies, make sure to stand directly in front of his path of retreat to stop him in his track and aid him recover his morale and stop and fight his enemy. Coming up alongside him to support him instead would take longer time for you reaching your kills! Once he is dead you will be there and take his place. This is especially important with regards to players with long pole arms. Since they need space to swing behind them, make sure you shove up close so you can hear that sound of encouragement to them when their back swing hits you.
7. If your entire team is setting up defensive positions along an easily defended terrain feature like a hill or so, make sure you charge in alone vs. the enemy. Since the sun of the cRPG universe revolves solely around you, your team must surely follow to support you in your glorious charge. If they are foolish enough to not do so, please keep up the excellent job of reminding them of their status as inbreed beginners (“tarded n00bs” in cRPG non-laymen terms) for failing to support you. Do not EVER forget to use CAPS for your important information!
8. If at any time you have the opportunity, kick your team mates! They will appreciate this and make you stand out as a hilariously witty and intelligent member of the cRPG community.
9. Always use your native language in chat. Just because it is an English speaking server and server rules say you should use English doesn’t mean you need to since you are exceptional. Using a native language Teamspeak is of course not an option.
10. At the start of a battle make sure to never, ever scan the battlefield and the involved forces and make a judgement of your and the enemies teams strengths and weaknesses. If you have lots of ranged, make sure you charge and never stay back and support them. If you have lots of cav, make sure to make a rush for broken terrain where they can’t help you. cRPG is a game of individual skill only and people trying to use cowardly methods like using common sense or team tactics only deserves looking down upon.
Follow these simply guide lines and you will soon fit right into the flourishing cRPG community. Welcome and may your K:D shine upon you!
