Summer Lovin

[Malaclypse]

If you look around the table and you don't know who the sperg is, it's you... it's you.

[Heroin]

Two things:

1. I just wanted to say sperg again.

2. I'd like someone to count up the number of times people have used "sperg" or a derivation thereof, and post that number here.

Get to work, my lovely, lovely spergs.

Sperg
   
an aspergers person throwing a tantrum

to have an infantile shitfit about something completely arbitrary
He got banned from the IRC channel after sperging at the admins D:

2.    Sperg
   142 up, 41 down
   
a. When someone gets all fussy about how details get overlooked or if something makes no sense, like someone with Asperger's Syndrome

b. A tantrum about a percieved injustice, a la someone with Asperger's

[Huey Newton]

New Samarra Castle

Lord Joe stood behind his Champion Courser on the stairs leading into the dungeons. "My love," he said, "It's two fucking steps."

"B-but I have four legs. I'm not sure how this is supposed to work." She put a leg forward, then hastily brought it back.

She was a good horse, but vertical movement could be a problem.

Joe squeezed past her sweat-coated flank . "Just let me know when you're ready, alright?"

He walked into a long, stone hallway. It was dark and cold, despite the flickering torches. Waiting for him was the leadership of the Free Companies. Great lords, all of them, in glittering mail and finely woven heraldry.

Bale muttered something about "nutcase" and "horse". Kesh, her hair lighting up the dungeon with it's glory, seemed worried.

Also present, much to Joe's surprise, was Lord Tydeus. Tydeus hadn't been present during their seizure of the castle, and shortly thereafter the armies of SEMEN STORM had surrounded the place, yet somehow the warrior had gotten in. Joe smiled at the dour group before him. "What'cha need?"

Gristle stepped forward, he seemed less angry than he was sad. He fiddled his little plate-shaped hat. "Joe, we need you to, uh, interrogate a political prisoner. BADPLAYER. He has resisted us, but perhaps you can do something to get him to talk." He glanced over Joe's shoulder. "You and your, erm, maiden."

Kesh cleared her throat, and a man's voice came out. "He glitched the fucking castle, and we need to know how... So we can do the same. This wizardry could help us defeat Hospitaller and their vassals: Occitan and SEMEN STORM, once and for all"

Joe nodded. "I'm gay."

"I knew we could count on you."
---------------------------

Joe and Champion Courser strode into the interrogation room. BADPLAYER hung from the wall by chains, his sweating, shivering, form shocking to behold. His neckbeard hung to the floor, devoid of its usual luster.
"BADPLAYER--sorry for shouting that--you've been a naughty boy."

"Joe? Is that a horse? Oh God, what the fuck are you going to do to me now?"

"We," Joe said, "Are going to talk."

"I've got nothing to say to you. I thought you were going to protect me." He sounded breathless. The Terrortops must have had his way with him.

Joe looked to his horse, smiling. "Honey, I think it's time for the Halibut." He strode to a chest in the corner and retrieved a large fish.

"Are you talking to your horse? Jesus Christ."

Joe put on his fish-beating face and leapt across the room. He fell upon BADPLAYER, smiting him with savage blows.
-------------------------------

In a room next door, the leaders of FCC sat in a circle. They could hear the sound of wet fish-slaps through the wall.

Gristle was pacing. "He's going to kill him. We can't do this. Not when BADPLAYER came to us in friendship."

Tydeus spoke, "We need to know. I can't just ban him on a hunch."

WITCHCRAFT said, "I could try some potions. They don't work, but BADPLAYER--sorry for yelling--doesn't know that.

Kesh frowned. "They work sometimes. Remember that siege and the necromancy?" She looked suddenly worried. "Wait. What if--?"

"OH GOD YOU'RE A WIZARD!"

Joe's cry filled the dungeon, along the neighing of his triple-loomed Courser.

The leaders of FCC and Tydeus leapt to their feet, drawing swords and rushing into the hall. Gristle fumbled with the keys to the interrogation room. The sound of scuffling feet and grunting could be heard on the other side. The door clicked, and the brave lords rushed in.

What the saw was terrible.

Joe and his horse were locked in a deadly struggle with BADPLAYER'S neckbeard. It had grown to twice its normal length, and had a life of its own. Joe wrestled desperately for control of his Halibut.

The lords of FCC and Tydeus fell upon the dread neckbeard with fierce battle-cries, hacking and grappling. BADPLAYER was laughing, cackling, his beard growing more and more.

Suddenly, the fell neckbeard was on fire, a torch caught in its Mountain Dewy tangles. Somebody yelled "GOTTEM COACH!"

It was over. BADPLAYER was consumed by the flames, his last utterance an angry shriek.

Tydeus, panting, sheathed his sword. He looked at the confused faces around him. "I'll, uh, talk chadz about that. Let's... Let's just say I banned him, for now." This was met with muttered agreements.

Bale shook his great, horned head. "Why did we fucking do this in the first place?"

((This is how I spend my days off now))