Saw this on cracked and thought of people like the above poster:
6 types of assholes you meet in every online game
"#4. LOLRANDOM
It's been a brilliant evening of close-run combat. You've been dominating with the tanks, but the enemy have pilots who can actually hit things, so every map has been a hard-won struggle with only five points in it among 24 players. Your friend has to leave, but you're sure it'll be fine. Then XxX_D0ngH1tl3r_42069 joins and runs straight at the enemy with a knife while playing trololololo over team chat.
The LOLRANDOM's battle cry is "It's just a game!" which is short for "It's just a game I'm trying to screw up for as many people as possible because no one has ever loved me!" It's like playing chess against someone who uses every turn to remove one of their own pieces from the board and shove it right up their own ass. It's easy to win, but not much fun to take part in. And if you wanted that, there are other online places you can go. In a team game, there are other people on their team who need those pieces.
There are properly crazy servers, where properly insane shit happens.
But these idiots don't really care about being random. If they found themselves in a payload_hightower traditional fish-slapping match (all Scout, all Holy Mackerel, Monty Python song quotes in textchat), they'd be the first to spawn Heavy with a minigun and murder everyone. They don't want to actually have fun; they want to ruin it for others, because they've reached such a low point in existence that ruining pointless fun for strangers is the closest they can come to human affection. They're proof that video games don't ruin people, but do attract people who are already ruined."
edit: bonus "#5. Single-Class Players AKA every Horse xbow delayer ever
Modern multiplayer games feature more teamwork than a Disney movie about a down-on-their-luck cheerleading squad learning to win a bridge tournament (a challenge that involves learning bridge, then keeping each other alive for 80 years to become old enough to care about bridge). An array of classes and loadouts let players adapt to specific roles and shifting objectives, including point defense, medic, target designation, and farming. Or they could be the third idiot on your team to scream "I WANNA SNIPE" and now you've lost.
True, a video game is the least worst-possible place for someone to declare that their only joy is long-range shooting things through the head, but it's still terrible. It doesn't matter if your team is going room to room in tunnels or being steamrollered by tanks, he's going to run up a crane at the very corner of the map and spend half an hour plinking at enemy infantry ... which will be much easier for him, now that your team is effectively outnumbered and the enemy are holding a grenade-explosion-based music festival around your spawn points.
This is the sort of sociopath that anti-video-game campaigners have been warning us about. There are infinitely billion single-player games about shooting enemies in the head, but these people don't want to play single player.
As far as they're concerned, all the other players are just background sprites in their personal game. But because they're not Michael Jordan, you'll still lose and hate them."
