Fandrall I think I got what you mean with that. It is probably a ping issue, as you don't get this in singleplayer. I think it's just about the way bumps work in warband, which I believe also is an issue (although a smaller one) for infantry too. When you damage someone, it feels like your character goes on a trip to astral realms and came back again in a miliseconds. I believe you all experienced the case of passing through someone right after you hit them.
As a cavalry, I liked the stakes too.