[Applications] Item balancers

[_Tak_]

We also need to nerf HA and the ability of its players to engage in fights where one player has no chance of success, where the HA can just delay until it gets valour. I say we make the penalty of armor to WPF stronger on horseback, and slow their draw speed with movement. I don't know. You guys figure this one out. I'm not that smart.

As for HA i don't think Item balancers can do a thing about it since its game mechanics balance. Nerfing stats of bows = Nerfing archers as well. Nerfing HA won't do a thing to delay, they will still run around shooting people when flag still shows up. Even if you nerf them to hell they will still do that, its their nature.

Unless HA damage were nerfed to 1 dmg per shot, then they will all rage quit to play other games/ turn into melee peps.

[chesterotab]

I'm obviously most familiar with 1h and cavalry, but I have also done generations of polearm, throwing, 2h (okay only once), and crossbow.

stopped reading this crapplication right there. you have multiple generations of throwing and crossbow, but only 1 as a glorious 2 hand hero?

[GOBBLINKINGREATLEADER]

i cant help it i am a pleb, i shouldnt have even crapplied should i

[San]

I just think it will be more interesting with more advisors/balancers, at least with some people who can be active.

[Strudog]

I'm just working with the information I know. That was how it turned out in NA.

I also think we need to make swashbuckler a more viable class, pull it up to the str of 2h and polearm. If there were some way to do that.

if you think Swashbuckling needs a buff, you must be insane. I currently play it now and its just as powerful as 2h and polearm. I actually prefer the 1h stab as an anti-cav weapon compared to the other two, it deals more dmg and on the odd occasion i have 1 hitted war horses. Plus you are able to carry two weapons rather than 1.

Currently i role with the side swaord and fighting axe.

[WITCHCRAFT]

This is my crapplication [...] I've indicated that I have the ability and will to defecate hours for this game.

I am familiar with creating and tweaking porcelain toilet models in Warband. I also take a shit nearly every day for at least 10-15 minutes (usually more) so I am very familiar with the ever-changing balance of poop and bathroom conditions. I'm obviously most familiar with constipation and wiping, but I have also done generations of diarrhea, cholera, anal sex (okay only once), and shaving butt-hair.

My current advice towards the agenda of the bathroom team would be the following:

SYLLABUS OF NERDY STUFF I WROTE:

First and foremost we should try and come up with ways to encourage more hybridization of wiping styles and move away from pure toilet paper orientation as the only successful way to play. This will hopefully make pooping more fun. Second we need to alter what I feel is the current metagame of eating lots of fiber that are very quick but can take shits because of heavy turds and still deal ridiculously huge damage (I feel this is worst with psyllium husks). Third (and this is how you can know I am relatively unbiased right now) we need to change (nerf) toilet plungers.

PLUNGER OP:

The NA and EU poop tournaments were both absolutely dominated by plunger users. I did math on the distribution of clogged toilets in the final/top 10 players of the NA tournament and 90% of players were plunger-havers. This leads me to believe that plungers are too strong compared to Draino and just using your foot to jam it in melee only situations. So I would first look at some way of bringing these three classes into alignment.

Individual changes for plunger I would suggest are to give models such as the bog brush, deluxe double ringed, long plunger, etc, a slight nerf to damage or speed. The damage on these plungers when you include a speed bonus is devastating and in my opinion too strong. They hit harder than a steel pick from horseback full speed to the face. Those weapons are just off the top of my head so don't fault me if they're not perfectly sensible, they are just my impression of the most popular plungers right now.

STR-AGI BALANCE

I think the most effective thing we could do to bring more balance to the str-agi paradigm isn't to revert to the old days of 45-str shitting trains, nigga. What we should do is increase the str requirements on lifting the seat and plungers so that players using primarily agility don't get all the same unclogging and defense that str players get. It might help to balance str with agi if we made ironflush more of a useful skill so that agi players by nature aren't as tough as str players. The vast majority of good players I have asked for advice in this game have all told me "ironflush is worthless, don't use it". So maybe a slight buff to ironflush.

#2

As far as putting #2 into alignment with the other bathroom classes I won't pretend I know what to do. I've pooped it for one generation and I was not good. I would say plungers is stronger than #2 right now though.

#1

For going #1 I would like to see a comeback of non-sword items. I feel that the combined change of knockdown proc and stab buffs by Tydeus really changed the spread of going #1 you used to see in the bathroom. These days on a 75 population public toilet you're lucky to see a #1er using a dick or urethra at all. Plungers have by far become the most popular and successful weapon (the only one tat tops the scoreboards). I would like to see knockdown chance for going #1 closer to what it was a year ago so we might see people use names for their dicks like "the Iberian Mace" again. Also maybe give the lesser dicks a bit of love, like the fighting dick.

CROSSDRESSING

I'm not a very good crossdresser or very familiar with it but the most famous players of the class have all told me personally that they feel their class was nerfed to the point where it's not even fun to play it anymore.

CHANGE WPF/POO THROWING ESPECIALLY:

The whole WPF-spread thing of shared WPF in melee classes was a cool change! Very cool! However, I think it could be improved a little bit. It feels like all it did was boost WPF for floor-shitters because honestly who the fuck plays #1/#2 or #2/plunger. I think we could help hybridize classes by letting some melee WPF spread into ranged class WPF. I.E. #1 or plunger WPF could spread into poo-throwing WPF so throwers can hybridize into #1/thrower ("viking") or floor-shitter/thrower (roman guy). I would love to see throwing put into a stronger spot than where it is right now. Even the best players in NA have to struggle to get to the top of the scoreboard as a shit flinger. It's less accurate than crossdressing/long distance pissing but it seems like a lot of the time it still does less damage even when the stars align and you finally shit. Give a slight buff to the higher throwing items damage across the board (chimp turds, gorilla chunks, elephant dung).

EDIT: I nearly forgot, nerf urinals. First of all reduce splashback damage a fair amount, if you have 0 IF it takes like 3 good piss stains to kill you. Nobody should get free damage just for hitting you with a splash of your own piss. Remove this whole paradigm of trying to say urinals are balanced by its rim being so much higher--rim hieght doesn't stop people from playing it to destroy pants that are better than theirs. We need to bring urinals in line with the other melee classes somehow. First of all nerf the EU playstyle of #1 in the urinal with heavy urinal cake, heavy dick size, and calling your dick "an arabian cavalry sword". We also need to nerf long distance pissers and the ability of its players to engage in fights where one player has no chance of success, where the longpisser can just delay until it gets valour. I say we make the penalty of armor to WPF stronger for long distance pissers, and slow their draw speed with movement. I don't know. You guys figure this one out. I'm not that smart.

(click to show/hide)

guess where I was sitting and what I was doing while I wrote this

also i am 8 years old

[Tzar]

(click to show/hide)

guess where I was sitting and what I was doing while I wrote this

also i am 8 years old

Epic reading, thank you very much fine sir!! Just brilliant!!  Plz write a book of your toilet adventures 

[GOBBLINKINGREATLEADER]

(click to show/hide)

guess where I was sitting and what I was doing while I wrote this

also i am 8 years old

Wow thats the best shitpisspost I've read in quite some time.

I just think it will be more interesting with more advisors/balancers, at least with some people who can be active.

Come on coach get me off the benches! Come on coach!

[Tojo]

I can balance things. I can easily balance an item such as a pencil on the tip of my finger. Also, I can balance up to 3 textbooks on my head. I can also balance my diet very well and go on a regular basis. With a little time I can even balance on two legs of a sturdy chair.

In order to balance crpg first you must create the universe... This game and specifically this mod is my favorite video game to play. The problem of balance seems to lie somewhere between being historically accurate and competitive melee game. I have played almost every build for multiple gens. The only class I have 0 experience with is HX.

here are some changes I would suggest.

-Pole arms can only stop horses at greater than 130 length

-low level shields have more resistance to axes, they break too easily

-long hafted blade either has a decease in thrust pierce dmg or thrust changed to cut dmg.

-make pole arms a little bit slower, so they aren't faster than 2h when you turn and swing (long maul)

-horse archery should be less accurate

-decrease the cost of siege equipment so it is more viable to use

-make the Estoc have more cut swing dmg

-Make the light xbow 1 slot again so infantry can kill archers without chasing

These are just some ideas I had and yes this is a serious application.

 

[Apsod]

That being said, we could use some more Item Advisors (particularly from eu.)

If you've posted in the past, you should post again to show interest.

Considering this I decided to give it another shot. My last post was messy and large, so I'll keep it a little shorter this time.

I'm interested in becomming an Item Advisor, because item balancing is the one thing I truly know how to do when it comes to Warband modding. I have experience being a balancer in other mods such as Battle of Europe and Calradia Slave Rebellion. I have been playing cRPG since release, and I would love to finally take part in what goes on behind the scenes.

I am usually playing as one of the melee classes, so naturally I'm most comfortable with balancing the melee classes. Taking this into consideration and seeing that you already have someone who is very experienced with ranged as an Item Advisor (XyNox), I think I would fit nicely in as a dedicated melee balancer. Of course if need be, I could also chip in with my thoughts on ranged or even cav as well.

[GOBBLINKINGREATLEADER]

item balance team here i come, its all but secured, time to start a campaign for Daruvian Item Balancer 2014

[Jona]

I can balance things. I can easily balance an item such as a pencil on the tip of my finger. Also, I can balance up to 3 textbooks on my head. I can also balance my diet very well and go on a regular basis. With a little time I can even balance on two legs of a sturdy chair.

Back in the day there was this contest online where you had to submit a picture of you balancing your cellphone "in a cool/unique way." Being stuck in my dorm room at the time, I had to use anything within arms' reach... naturally I ended up grabbing a plasma-cut batarang to use. Let me tell yah... THAT took skill*.

*Read: An hour of trial and error.

That being said, we could use some more Item Advisors (particularly from eu.)

If you've posted in the past, you should post again to show interest.

Good ol' anti-American Tydeus. Don't we have 2 guys from EU (Gurnisson and XyNox) and 2 from NA (Tydeus and San) on the item balance team? Should be welcoming to anyone in order to pick the most capable candidate(s).

item balance team here i come, its all but secured, time to start a campaign for Daruvian Item Balancer 2014

Correct me if I'm wrong, but if your spot was all but secured, wouldn't you have little to no need for a campaign? 
 

[WITCHCRAFT]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but if your spot was all but secured, wouldn't you have little to no need for a campaign?

I think that he is getting the position of "item adviser" and hopes to become an "item balancer" soon.

I'm not involved with the item balance process at all so that's just a guess.

edit:nope

[GOBBLINKINGREATLEADER]

you tried to hard to explain my actions witchcraft, it was just inane babble, i want to be an item advisor

its like when someone tries to say a dog is trying to communicate with its barks but its really just barking like an asshole for no reason

[Sandersson Jankins]

I would like to apply for the item balance team as well. If prompted by the cRPG powers that be, I could provide a list of tweaks, changes, and opinions that I hold. I'm generation 28 with many 33+ gens (also a huge gay nerd), and have played every class save horse-archer. I'd be willing to STF it up on any class to get a good hold on their position in the game-balance. I'm confident that I can be objective in my recommendations and would try my damndest to take into account players at both a high and low skill level in balancing. To balance the game you've got to take both into account, and that's difficult.