I've got 2 jokes...one short and one long.
Why did the archer cross the road?
He didn't...He was hit by a truck. His quivers weighed 30 lbs each and he make it in time.
So, an archer walks in to a bar, announcing "A[r]chers!" a few times, so everyone knows. He sits down and orders a drink from the bartender. The bartender looks at him funny, "you sure you want to be here, bud?" The archer is a bit confused and says "yeah, mate, I'd like an ale please."
The bartender give a heavy sigh and replies, "alright, but you'll need to pay 33% more than the other patrons, your glass will weigh 8 kilos, and you'll have to..." at this point the bartender erupts in to a fit of coughing *cough* *cough*
NERF *cough*
NERF HIM *cough**cough*
This commotion of course attracts the attention of the other patrons, who all turn around to see what's going on, right? They see the archer on the stool like a dunce, all his money on the bar, struggling to lift his heavy mug and chugging down his drink the best he can, spilling it everywhere. Everyone BURSTS into laughter, pointing and jeering and giggling to the point of tears. BAHAHAHA NERF HIM NERF HIM HAHAHAHA!!!!
Two bouncers stop laughing long enough to wipe their tears away and do their job, so they come up to archer, who is quite shaken by all of this, and start nerfing him. One holds him still while the other punches him in the gut repeatedly. All this time the archer is still trying to drink like the other patrons, but every time he takes a gulp, the punches cause him to vomit in to his immensely heavy glass, which he proceeds to drink down and vomit again and again.
I know you're waiting for the punchline...so here it comes. The bartender's coughing eventually turned in to hysterical laughing along with everyone else, of course...and just when he thinks the archer may have been nerfed enough he looks at the roughed up fellow (who by this time clearly looks as if he's seen better days)...he looks him straight in the eye and shouts directly in to his face, "A[r]chers!"
