If you are half way decent then yes, you can out-range a lancer if you see/hear he is coming. I can do it 90% of the time with a 1h jump side swing, every time with a 2h thrust, and polearm is pretty obvious or you fail. Throwers kill my +3 in 1 hit when I run at them, and horses are the easiest archer/xbow shot in the game. I'm sorry it requires that you use your ears.
I, once upon a time, could engage people head on with a lance. I did it because I felt it took more skill than just plowing people in the rear like what is the only option now. People complain it is requires no skill, but the only viable option is to stab the people not looking. People also complain about horse bumping being too strong, yet the only option is to run straight at a target and bump them while stabbing. Bumping is also a double edged sword because you can run teammates over just as easily but people only remember being killed by it, not getting kills from it.
I agree cav has the greatest potential for KDR because they are forced to stab those that aren't paying attention, and that is typically a lot of people. Do this long enough you learn how to pick the targets better, and also who is almost always going to beat you. There are some players you just don't bother lancing(aka the ones that pay attention). While it is easy to kill those not looking, it takes 1 person who is paying attention to kill the rider or their horse in 1 shot.
I went infantry anyways so I don't really care what happens, but I think its down right stupid the lance can be thrust to the sides.