Option 2, but with more points in crossbows. Up to about 120 or so minimum. I'd at least take higher crossbow than melee skill, to be sure the shooting is worth a damn.
My reasoning behind investing more in poles is quite straightforward :
* Crossbow dmg is unaffected by wpf therefore it is inherently more rewarding point for point to invest in poles
* Performance at range is most often defined by missed/caught opportunities rather than life or death situations
* Crossbow wpf means degrees of precision, pole wpf means the difference between possible and impossible melee
While it is true that range performance (with its systemic uncertainty) will somewhat suffer, certainly melee demands most help. The extra attack speed and damage can feasibly make the difference between being able to stand toe-to-toe with that agi shielder or helplessly falling to his relentless assault. In addition, faster response times in melee will create opportunities, unlike additional crossbow wpf. It all comes down to the binary state of positive outcomes (managed the blow or not, exploited the opening or not etc.) being more beneficial and reliable in stark contrast to the probability modifier tweaks of a bolt cone spread. (taking armor penalties into account)
As noted in the OP, I do not wish this build to be perceived as a standard crossbowman with what-have-you sidearm, but rather a polearm wielder who shoots between bouts of melee.