Author Topic: Joke Builds  (Read 5345 times)

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Offline Mouse

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Joke Builds
« on: January 24, 2011, 11:00:23 pm »
+1
Some people like myself take this game way too seriously, so in the spirit of fun (Funday Monday! for you Day9 fans) I thought it'd be good to create joke characters to play. If you've got a silly build you play just for the lulz, post your build here. (Use http://infinitum.dyndns.org/crpg/calc.htm to help.)

The Valet Parking Sniper Build

    Hit points: 50
    Strength: 15
    Agility: 25

    Unused skill points: 1

    Converted: 10
    Riding: 8
    Horse Archery: 4
    Weapon Master: 8

    Crossbow: 173

    Gear:
    Sniper Crossbow
    Sniper Crossbow
    Sniper Crossbow
    Steel Bolts
    Destrier (or better)

So let's get one thing straight: you don't use a hunting crossbow or a light crossbow. You must use a crossbow, heavy crossbow, or sniper crossbow. To play this build properly you ride up to someone just out of reach, shoot them with all three sniper crossbows, and then you ride off into a safe corner of the map, dismount, reload your triple sniper crossbow, and then ride back into battle for three more shots. You must also take every opportunity to run over your enemies from behind with your horse, especially after you've run out of ammo. You've got enough for 5 volleys, so make every one count. Make sure you the ugliest armor combination possible. The fugly black armor is a bonus if you can afford it.
« Last Edit: January 24, 2011, 11:33:52 pm by Mouse »

Offline Ninja_Totoro

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Re: Joke Builds
« Reply #1 on: January 24, 2011, 11:35:55 pm »
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Full agi. All points in onehander, only use long dagger.


Enjoy.

Offline Formless

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Re: Joke Builds
« Reply #2 on: January 24, 2011, 11:38:53 pm »
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Full agi. All points in onehander, only use long dagger.


Enjoy.

Hahaha, sounds like fun, bet you glance a ton even off medium armour. 
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Offline Murmillus_Prime

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Re: Joke Builds
« Reply #3 on: January 24, 2011, 11:40:34 pm »
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I think my 'Iberian Infantry' char has 3  powerstrike the rest I've put on agg, he uses a sword and a shield with practically no decent armour. I've not played him for a long time though.

He's 9 str, 18 agi and level 22.
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Offline Jan_van_Zuidwijk

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Re: Joke Builds
« Reply #4 on: January 24, 2011, 11:47:26 pm »
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My Afro-Samurai; Yasuke.

Build:

STR: 15
AGI: 21

1h: 50 wpf
2h: 200 wpf
Mandingo: 925 wpf

Ironflesh: 5
Powerstrike: 5
Athletics: 7
Riding: 4
Weapon Master*: 6
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Offline Thomek

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Re: Joke Builds
« Reply #5 on: January 24, 2011, 11:48:53 pm »
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Ninja Thomek xD

Level 30 (4 420 577 xp)

Hit points: 49
Strength: 12
Agility: 27
Converted: 8
Ironflesh: 1
Power Strike: 4
Athletics: 9
Weapon Master: 9
Two Handed: 181

+ masterwork kata..

(ill retire at 31 so i had a waste point to put in If.)
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Offline ThePoopy

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Re: Joke Builds
« Reply #6 on: January 24, 2011, 11:51:17 pm »
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lvl 31:

3 str
42 agi

18 converted
14 athletic

115 wpf throwing

equipment: stones

Offline Mouse

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Re: Joke Builds
« Reply #7 on: January 25, 2011, 12:16:03 am »
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The Japanese Ogre Build aka the Oni Build: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oni_%28folklore%29

Level 30 (4 420 577 xp)

    Strength: 36
    Agility: 3
    Hit points: 91

    Converted: 8
    Ironflesh: 10
    Power Strike: 12
    Athletics: 1

    Two Handed: 113

    Gear:
    Studded Warclub (Alternatives: Great Maul, Goedendag, War Cleaver, Great Axe)

The humble studded war club is the mythical demon ogre's weapon of choice, and don't you dare equip any fancy weapons like swords. Wield blunt instruments proudly with some samurai armor and you will strike fear into your opponents. In fact, most people will probably just run away from you because you're so darned slow, but if you ever catch them they will regret it because your humble club deals a whopping 56 damage with 12 PS (and that's without any speed bonus). Its blunt damage ensures only the most heavily armored opponents won't be completely obliterated in one or two strikes, and if you aim for the head they won't stand a chance. If you "upgrade" to the great maul your base damage will be 86: only another demon ogre could stand up to strikes as ridiculously overpowered as yours. You've got almost double the HP of most players, and if Iron Flesh ever gets that much needed boost you'll have over 100 HP. This is definitely an ambush build, and I'm sure it'll terrorize people in siege matches if used properly.
« Last Edit: January 25, 2011, 04:16:29 am by Mouse »

Offline ThePoopy

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Re: Joke Builds
« Reply #8 on: January 25, 2011, 12:19:35 am »
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lots off ppl have that build, using bar mace or iron mace, 99% crush through and weapon cant be outspammed

Offline Gristle

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Re: Joke Builds
« Reply #9 on: January 25, 2011, 01:35:34 am »
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Level 30 (4 420 577 xp)

    Hit points: 91
    Strength: 36
    Agility: 3

    Converted: 8
    Ironflesh: 10
    Power Strike: 12
    Weapon Master: 1

    Two Handed: 118

    Gear:
    Studded Warclub (Alternatives: Great Maul, Goedendag, War Cleaver, Great Axe)

The Butcher variant: Same stats, One Handed instead of Two Handed

Gear:
Leather Apron, Cleaver (no, the peasant one), Peasant Knife

Offline Mouse

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Re: Joke Builds
« Reply #10 on: January 25, 2011, 04:00:56 am »
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The Butcher variant: Same stats, One Handed instead of Two Handed

Gear:
Leather Apron, Cleaver (no, the peasant one), Peasant Knife

Using the leather apron for this is brilliant. I'd revise the stats for the Butcher Build and pick up the Steel Buckler. Makes the build playable with the meat cleaver and peasant knife, since you can't block otherwise, and you can just pretend it's a frying pan or something. You could also use the Khyber Knife.

Level 30 (4 420 577 xp)

    Strength: 33
    Agility: 9

    Converted: 14
    Power Strike: 11
    Shield: 3
    Athletics: 3

    One Handed: 113

Offline Centurion

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Re: Joke Builds
« Reply #11 on: January 25, 2011, 04:17:08 am »
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LAWL THROWER

Red shirt no Shoes. All wpf in throwing. All Converted points go to strength and power throw. Main Weapons, Full equipment of Masterwork Throwing LANCES, or ROCKS. NOTHING IN BETWEEN OR ITS NOT A LAWLER. THIS IS ALSO A TROLLING BUILD SO USE IT GOD DAMMIT.

Offline zagibu

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Re: Joke Builds
« Reply #12 on: January 25, 2011, 05:16:31 am »
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Torch bearer - full agi + steel shield + torch

Also: The bride - wedding dress + katana

Or: Miraculix - tunic with green cape + sickle

Or: Shaolin - short tunic + shaved head + staff + full agi
« Last Edit: January 25, 2011, 05:23:53 am by zagibu »
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Offline cutsomecheesewithmybow

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Re: Joke Builds
« Reply #13 on: January 25, 2011, 05:20:10 am »
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Mosquito

Level 30 (4 420 577 xp)
Strength: 9
Agility: 30

Converted: 8
Athletics: 10
Power Draw: 3
Weapon Master: 10

One Handed: 7
Archery: 190

Nomad Bow, Double Bodkins, Scottish Sword. -> Squishy as hell.

Offline Warcat

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Re: Joke Builds
« Reply #14 on: January 25, 2011, 05:34:27 am »
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LAWL THROWER

Red shirt no Shoes. All wpf in throwing. All Converted points go to strength and power throw. Main Weapons, Full equipment of Masterwork Throwing LANCES, or ROCKS. NOTHING IN BETWEEN OR ITS NOT A LAWLER. THIS IS ALSO A TROLLING BUILD SO USE IT GOD DAMMIT.

Totally stole that idea from village elder. I knew I should've got a patent on it.
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