A day in the life of Kliff [EU/RP]

[Conquisitore]

Jelbegi Castle. 12.03.2016, 1PM, Northern Time Zone:

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A raging voice and a strong headache went through the head of Conquisitore when he opened his eyes this morning. He opened the the Klappvisier of his Sleeping Topfhelm and tried to figure out what the voice was shouting.

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"A menlover, a menlover wants to attack me and then those bastards crossing our borders, without even asking, wake up you fucking retard and do something for our great country, fucking menlovers ..." Kliff came into Conquisitores bedchamber, located in the big keep of Jelbegi Castle "Wake up you dump drug addict, we have to work"

Slowly Conquisitore rose up, "Good morning Kliff, sleep well?" "Not at all. We have a huge problem, get out of this shity bed and move your ass to P5's temple room. We have to talk." Said Kliff as he moved out of the chamber again.

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While the angry voice moved away Conquistore stood up, changed his Sleeping Topfhelm to his Ceremonial Topfhelm and left. What happened tonight was his main thought while following Kliff. He remembered that President Don and he went on a feasting journey to the surrounding villages.

Moving into the temple room, bending his knee in front of P5's big statue, he remembered something, Don went to another village than he did. Looking around in the room he noticed Don was missing, Kliff was complete naked burning a huge amount of weed in the fire pit, talking to the statue. He took out a blunt from the pool next to the door and lit it at Kliffs torch.

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"So, what happened?"
 "What happened? We got betrayed by our former allies from Thilbaut Castle (Middle East). A menlover is chasing me and Don got wasted again, this time he passed out so that he now got attacked near Haen without any mead left at all, how shall we fight without mead?"
 "And why are you burning half of our stored weed?" "I'm trying to get P5 merciful again, he isn't speaking to me anymore, neither in my head nor through signs."
 "Well, maybe because you killed a whole army trying to get a single village?"
 "I SACRIFICED THEM IN HIS NAME AND FOR A GREATER GOOD! AND NOW HELP ME SOLVING OUR PROBLEMS, idiot."

A few hours later the two finally left the temple room, the shiny red eyes glowing in the dark of their helmets. Kliff went to the barn and got his horse Ferdinand, screamed "Open the Gate!" and left Jelbegi Castle. Carrying a message to the invaders.

Conquisitore walked to the troops waiting in the courtyard. "Listen up my brave warriors." he said "The time now has come to be patient, a great army is coming for us. Let them break their sticks at our hard walls and keep the backdoor closed. Soon they have to pay to bloodprice! Non but P5 shall fuck us!"

He walked on the wall and watched Kliff moving away from the Castle. He still heard him shouting and screaming, what an angry man he thought by himself.
 
TL;DR we are getting attacked



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[Kliff]

By true events!

[Nebun]

KLIFF FOR PRESIDENT OF CALRADIA

[Conquisitore]

MAKE CALRADIA GREAT AGAIN!

[pogosan]

[Torben]

fun read

[the real god emperor]

Bring it on.

[Conquisitore]

We, true followers of Duke Rollo, attacked your village to raid, plunder and fuck your sheep. Northern blood and French blessing lets us capture our first and only base to raid in future and Hrus Castle happened to be the easiest to take at the moment.

Do not fight back and we will try not to harm you too much. We are not trying to capture all you territory. Yet.

Your warm southern blood will seep slowly into the cold northern ground and your french blessing wont protect you from our krupp stahl.

[pogosan]

[Butan]

It is signed,

I can only approve.